Revelation
The most novel things occurred to me yesterday:
What if I were to live my life in the ways that would make me feel the happiest, and most fulfilled, instead of the 'best,' 'most successful' ways possible?
What if I held myself to the same standards to which I hold everyone else, instead of an entirely different, incredibly high set?
What if I did things the way that I want to, instead of the way that I think I'm supposed to?
I don't mean by any of this, 'what if I were to be totally self-involved and hedonistic and not care about anyone or anything else.' I mean, what if I were to see myself as alright, and not some project in constant need of improving, fixing, and upgrading. What if the 'best' me is not this flawless being that I have been striving for, but rather, the most honest, real and maybe happiest me?
Maybe that's all really obvious, but for me, its kind of a major break-through.
Also:
I think that maybe I've been on the livejournal less because I'm more open and expressive in all other arenas of my life - with my friends, with my parents, with Logan, and with my professors. So, not necessarily a bad thing. Please forgive me for being behind on yours. It doesn't mean that I don't love you.
And:
If you're interested in what I have been writing on the internet lately, you can find it : here - sex blog NSFW and here - mascara blog SFW
Lastly:
I kind of let my paid account lapse, and am having trouble deciding whether or not to renew it.
What if I were to live my life in the ways that would make me feel the happiest, and most fulfilled, instead of the 'best,' 'most successful' ways possible?
What if I held myself to the same standards to which I hold everyone else, instead of an entirely different, incredibly high set?
What if I did things the way that I want to, instead of the way that I think I'm supposed to?
I don't mean by any of this, 'what if I were to be totally self-involved and hedonistic and not care about anyone or anything else.' I mean, what if I were to see myself as alright, and not some project in constant need of improving, fixing, and upgrading. What if the 'best' me is not this flawless being that I have been striving for, but rather, the most honest, real and maybe happiest me?
Maybe that's all really obvious, but for me, its kind of a major break-through.
Also:
I think that maybe I've been on the livejournal less because I'm more open and expressive in all other arenas of my life - with my friends, with my parents, with Logan, and with my professors. So, not necessarily a bad thing. Please forgive me for being behind on yours. It doesn't mean that I don't love you.
And:
If you're interested in what I have been writing on the internet lately, you can find it : here - sex blog NSFW and here - mascara blog SFW
Lastly:
I kind of let my paid account lapse, and am having trouble deciding whether or not to renew it.