(no subject)
Goodbye for some days; i go to a monastary style place where, through various disciplines, I will apparently concentrate on the inner.
& I need it, my life has collapsed recently - I finished uni in a frenzy of reading and not-reading, indulging in food (crap food) and the internet, bad porn, sleep, book binges (3 in a week!); anything that would allow me to escape consciousness... everyone around me here has lost interest; my motivation in gathering people around me who interested me, who I thought had some excitement in their life, has come back against me - now that our lives diverge and the gulfs between us, where no real warmth exists, become clear.
and nightmares, nightmares...
& I need it, my life has collapsed recently - I finished uni in a frenzy of reading and not-reading, indulging in food (crap food) and the internet, bad porn, sleep, book binges (3 in a week!); anything that would allow me to escape consciousness... everyone around me here has lost interest; my motivation in gathering people around me who interested me, who I thought had some excitement in their life, has come back against me - now that our lives diverge and the gulfs between us, where no real warmth exists, become clear.
and nightmares, nightmares...