Paving Pathways for the Lost, the Bitter and Recluse

[argen]

So, I've been attempting this online dating thing and, most recently, have been doing so through the site OkCupid. I chose this site because it had exactly what it was looking for in an online dating service: no cost. Up until now I haven't thought that the internet dating "scene" was a particularly fantastic place. The other day I ended up

Comments

[esotericara]

First of all, let me say that I only glanced at the user picture and thought it was one of my other friends writing this entry. So, until about halfway through, I thought my friend was now interested in girls. Which was a strange experience, mostly because I was totally unprepared.

So, I feel the need to point out that health is important to me. Fitness...meh. I dunno. Because I'm a girl and single and whatnot, I feel the need to prepare you for many women finding that offensive. It translates to, "I want a skinny woman who runs marathons." Which, you know, is likely what you meant. Just be prepared for women to be offended by that. As such, I get the feeling that I would not make the cut, as I may be hot, but I don't think I work out enough to say that, "Health and fitness are important to me."

[zowch]

I really don't understand how "I want a girl who thinks health and fitness are important" is 'offensive'. I can understand it making you uninterested in somebody, because perhaps health and fitness aren't important to you, and you think running is only good for escaping predators (hi!). But really, how is it any different from saying "I want a girl who thinks the BeeGees are super keen."?

Shared interests and life outlooks are at least SOMEWHAT important, and somebody who goes to the gym obsessively would PROBABLY not be happy with somebody who uses that time instead to make and eat vast quantities of bacon, beautiful personality notwithstanding.

P.S. If you know any of the latter girls, please send them my way, because I love bacon.

[tj9582]

And there you go *again*.

[esotericara]

Well, see, that's why I decided to respond. A guy would likely not see that response coming. I'd need a few days to figure out why I just know that some would take offense to that. It has occurred to me, though, that Tim may not want to date the kind of girl who would take offense to that, so maybe this was all pointless.

Also, it's always important to remember that many girls think guys only want to date perfect girls, which is really a sore spot for us. The big problem is that what girls assume to be guys' definition of "perfect" is not necessarily what they guys themselves would say. In some cases it is, in which case those guys are not really worth fretting over.

Girls have been given a license to stamp "SHALLOW" on any statement by a man having to do with appearance. It's not fair and it's not reasonable, but it happens. I'm just trying to warn a friend because I have inside information. I not only know girls are crazy and evil, but I often know in which specific ways. I don't often know why.

[argen]

See, this is actually part of the disconnect because I don't necessarily want a skinny girl that runs marathons. In fact, pretty much all the girls I've dated I would describe as having an average body type. I guess I just don't know how to say that without saying, "Please only message me if your body type is average or less."