missing
miss you.
you don't need that. don't need me interfering. song lyrics keep playing in my head. mine and yours. i thought to call but knew this is best. i have questions. how was your day? did you get things done? did you miss me? think or me? i can't ask these things. they just make it harder. i am a wanderer at life. i am lonesome and sufficiently surrounded. a lonely little girl with a fish this time. my line. so tired. my eyes are red. i need another cigarette. you hate it. me. do you? i am so disjointed right now. like i said, mechanical. it's weird. i feel opposing emotions. some lightness and some heaviness. relief and stress. don't read too much into me. my thoughts. disjointed. i already said that. why am i so weird? you are normal. good. enough. remember it. i want to paint. i need to paint. or continue making fabric pillows for boards i will never design or create. i am odd. a messed up person in a sane world. right? or maybe an insane world? which is better? i saw a picture of an ex boyfriend today. haven't talked in years. ages. i wanted to call but i have no number. an odd impulse for what? i have no feelings toward that past. or what it was.
don't hurt. that is my only request. be sane and happy and peaceful. why is this so dramatic? i feel pathetic and have no words to give. just know i care. i always care. too much sometimes.
you don't need that. don't need me interfering. song lyrics keep playing in my head. mine and yours. i thought to call but knew this is best. i have questions. how was your day? did you get things done? did you miss me? think or me? i can't ask these things. they just make it harder. i am a wanderer at life. i am lonesome and sufficiently surrounded. a lonely little girl with a fish this time. my line. so tired. my eyes are red. i need another cigarette. you hate it. me. do you? i am so disjointed right now. like i said, mechanical. it's weird. i feel opposing emotions. some lightness and some heaviness. relief and stress. don't read too much into me. my thoughts. disjointed. i already said that. why am i so weird? you are normal. good. enough. remember it. i want to paint. i need to paint. or continue making fabric pillows for boards i will never design or create. i am odd. a messed up person in a sane world. right? or maybe an insane world? which is better? i saw a picture of an ex boyfriend today. haven't talked in years. ages. i wanted to call but i have no number. an odd impulse for what? i have no feelings toward that past. or what it was.
don't hurt. that is my only request. be sane and happy and peaceful. why is this so dramatic? i feel pathetic and have no words to give. just know i care. i always care. too much sometimes.