(no subject)
i kinda had an epiphany i guess that's what you'd call it. i am sick of regretting every decision i've made saying to myself "why didn't you do that?" of "you shouldn't have done that." i am sick of feeling like i'm worthless. i am going to go back to school and i'm going to succeed because that's what i need to do to become who i want to be. i am going to make my relationships work because i'm tired of being alone. i am going to make the decisions i don't want to make. i am sick of hiding huddled in the corner waiting for something bad to happen. i will take things as they come and deal with problems as they arise not dreading them into existence. i love caroline and i want things to work so i have to make them work there is only so much she can do. my relationship with her will not become another regret. i want to know what it feels like to be strong and independent and be sure of myself and the only way for that to happen is me making it happen.