And I know, I have to go away.
Everything's different when you go home for the holidays.
The little things all change without anyone really telling you. They're not supposed to, but you notice. The Issaquah Red Robin is closed for a while, they scooted the book section in Costco a little further to the back, the backyard has a fountain in it now, and the road coming up to Lakemont has yellow road posts lining one of the lanes.
And everyone at home is just a little taller.
I switch into a strange self-defence mode when I get home. Everyone wants to see me and catch up with me - but I don't want to see how much my home has changed. I want to tuck myself into bed and wake up on Jan 7 ready to go back to school with everything the same. I won't face the heart-breaking prospect of my best friends having new best friends, my sisters being able to make the grammatical distinctions between "me" and "I", or the yellow road posts coming up to Lakemont. I can change, grow, and move on... but you, home... you have to stay the same.
I do miss the people I haven't seen. I know, deep down, there are parts of those personalities that are the same as they ever were. I know you haven't changed too much, but part of me still wants to go back to what was this summer or my senior year in high school. It shouldn't be so hard to face change. Or maybe it should. I don't really know.
I'm sorry if I've been uncommunicative lately. I've been tucked into my room reading and feeling a bit sick. Otherwise, I've been spending time with my family and doing church-type things - all the church-type things you do during Christmastime, you know.
Have you ever seen the movie What About Bob?
Well, I decided this Christmas break will be what Doctor Leo Marvin calls a "Vacation from my Problems"
Here I am, Christmas break with nothing to worry about except which wrapping paper to use and how many stamps it takes to mail something across the Pacific.
I love Christmastime, and despite my feelings of illness and my fear of change, I'm going to enjoy this break.
Like you do.
I know Christmas won't be entirely the same until I grow up a little more.
Sometime soon I'll have to go away.
Then the whole game will change.
I have Christmas-getting-ready type things to be doing.
I need to go to Barnes & Noble.
and take a shower.
I hope you are feeling festive.
The little things all change without anyone really telling you. They're not supposed to, but you notice. The Issaquah Red Robin is closed for a while, they scooted the book section in Costco a little further to the back, the backyard has a fountain in it now, and the road coming up to Lakemont has yellow road posts lining one of the lanes.
And everyone at home is just a little taller.
I switch into a strange self-defence mode when I get home. Everyone wants to see me and catch up with me - but I don't want to see how much my home has changed. I want to tuck myself into bed and wake up on Jan 7 ready to go back to school with everything the same. I won't face the heart-breaking prospect of my best friends having new best friends, my sisters being able to make the grammatical distinctions between "me" and "I", or the yellow road posts coming up to Lakemont. I can change, grow, and move on... but you, home... you have to stay the same.
I do miss the people I haven't seen. I know, deep down, there are parts of those personalities that are the same as they ever were. I know you haven't changed too much, but part of me still wants to go back to what was this summer or my senior year in high school. It shouldn't be so hard to face change. Or maybe it should. I don't really know.
I'm sorry if I've been uncommunicative lately. I've been tucked into my room reading and feeling a bit sick. Otherwise, I've been spending time with my family and doing church-type things - all the church-type things you do during Christmastime, you know.
Have you ever seen the movie What About Bob?
Well, I decided this Christmas break will be what Doctor Leo Marvin calls a "Vacation from my Problems"
Here I am, Christmas break with nothing to worry about except which wrapping paper to use and how many stamps it takes to mail something across the Pacific.
I love Christmastime, and despite my feelings of illness and my fear of change, I'm going to enjoy this break.
Like you do.
I know Christmas won't be entirely the same until I grow up a little more.
Sometime soon I'll have to go away.
Then the whole game will change.
I have Christmas-getting-ready type things to be doing.
I need to go to Barnes & Noble.
and take a shower.
I hope you are feeling festive.