Fuck.
Gah. My mother is driving me mad.
Here's the dealio.
She comes in my room and starts bitching about my Algebra grade. Then sits behind me on my bed looking over my shoulder while I uncomfortably make conversation on AIM. I can't stand being around the woman. I avoid eye contact as much as possible, and her being near me gives me stress related chest pain.
She sat there behind me for 15 minutes asking all these questions of what is wrong with me and what I want to do with my life. All I could bring myself to do was answer with vague one worded answers.
Then she left, saying "You're throwing your life away."
Before that, she declared that Aaron and Travis are influencing me and that I'm trying to follow in their footsteps and drop out. What the hell? Of course I don't care about school. I'm being forced into it. I don't enjoy things I'm forced to do.
She thinks I want to stay an irresponsible teenager forever. She's wrong. I want out of here. NOW. I want to get out, get my driver's license, get a job and have my own place. I want to go through the struggle of paying bills and waking up for work.
I want a family. I want to be close to those I care for. I want to feel loved and not pressured to be something I'm not. Pretty sad. The only person that I find truly repulsive is my mother.
I want to go in for a professional mental evaluation. I always feel that I'm crazy. That something is wrong with me. When I'm by myself, I do impulsive things without any reasoning. Today I hit myself over the head with a pot lid to see if it would hurt, and if I could dent it.
I want a hug.
Here's the dealio.
She comes in my room and starts bitching about my Algebra grade. Then sits behind me on my bed looking over my shoulder while I uncomfortably make conversation on AIM. I can't stand being around the woman. I avoid eye contact as much as possible, and her being near me gives me stress related chest pain.
She sat there behind me for 15 minutes asking all these questions of what is wrong with me and what I want to do with my life. All I could bring myself to do was answer with vague one worded answers.
Then she left, saying "You're throwing your life away."
Before that, she declared that Aaron and Travis are influencing me and that I'm trying to follow in their footsteps and drop out. What the hell? Of course I don't care about school. I'm being forced into it. I don't enjoy things I'm forced to do.
She thinks I want to stay an irresponsible teenager forever. She's wrong. I want out of here. NOW. I want to get out, get my driver's license, get a job and have my own place. I want to go through the struggle of paying bills and waking up for work.
I want a family. I want to be close to those I care for. I want to feel loved and not pressured to be something I'm not. Pretty sad. The only person that I find truly repulsive is my mother.
I want to go in for a professional mental evaluation. I always feel that I'm crazy. That something is wrong with me. When I'm by myself, I do impulsive things without any reasoning. Today I hit myself over the head with a pot lid to see if it would hurt, and if I could dent it.
I want a hug.