Wanting
oh man i'm sooooo bored! it's odd....i want to go home....but i am home........i never have been able to figure out this feeling....hopefully one day i will......i want to be hugged.....i want to be held.....i want someone to hold me and hug me and tell me that they love me and they won't ever let anything happen to me! i want everyone to be happy! it seems that nobody is ok right now! there is something wrong with everyone! it's not cool! cuz then it makes me have my odd feeling of wanting to go home when i already am......i feel alone and i want it to stop....i want a good part....i want to play a girl.....i want to be Sybil.......i should become Sybil.....then...maybe.....maybe....i dunno....maybe i should just all of the sudden in the middle of the hall become Contance.....that'll freak people out! that'd be great! i'd love to just have a break down suddenly in front of everyone...instead of having a slow torturous silent break down all by myself.....alone.....always alone........my biggest fear.....is that i'm going to die alone........maybe that's my biggest fear.....because i know it's going to happen.......sorry......sorry......
i got to drive today.....i need a new sound system......mine sucks.....it was great cuz i left about a half hour early and drove around....just anywhere my car decided to take me......then i went to the library (for my volunteer hours for my citizenship project).....i love libraries.....and when i go to volunteer i don't think.....i love it....i don't feel and i don't think....i'm just there...doing whatever insanely easy task they have me do......i don't know exactly why yet.....but that's what i do......and today it was wonderful........then i went to the store for my parents brought that home then drove around for another half hour.....until i let my dad use my car to go to work......
that's all i have for today......tomorrow = homework......ugh........