A tribute to Tham

[arebella]

A mutual friend emailed me with very sad news.  There is a great void in the Herc/Xenaverse now - a great writer and long-time friend has died after a battle with breast cancer.  Those who have been in the fandom for many years will remember her as Thamiris: founder of the KSmithAres list, gifted writer and story-teller.  She left us way too soon

Comments

[themadtapper]

I met Tham online so long ago, when the KSmithares list was having that war over chocolate sauce... *shakes head*. Thanks to that list I got to meet so many wonderful people who have become truly great, close friends now - including you. For that I will be forever grateful to Tham.

I only met Tham once in person when she passed through my hometown for a slash con and I hosted a get together for listsibs who were also attending. We had had a huge disagreement a few days before and I had no idea what to expect when she visited. All I remember now is a bit of awkwardness, followed by the two of us looking at each other behind a group of our listsibs and a smile that passed her face as we both agreed in silence that the arguement had been stupid. We began laughing in stereo and I know no one else knew why. That is the Tham I am remembering now.

I never knew why we completely stopped speaking and it really doesn't matter now. I hope she is at peace.

[arebella]

Nice rememberances of her. You're absolutely right that besides her writing, one of the very best things about her was the way she stepped in during all that sillines so long ago and started the ksares list where we all became such good friends. I remember her emailing me and saying "Bella, what if I just start another list?" That was the start of it all for us.

It's funny how things that seemed so important at the time fall away with perspective in a time like this.

Love ya!

[kendaa]

Oh no. I've not been to LJ in a week and to see this... I didn't know Thamiris at all except for a short period I was on KSA (slash wasn't my thing), but I knew of her. I had no idea she was battling breast cancer. My stomach just rolled over when I read your post, Bella. How terrible, and how sad for her family. I'm so sorry.

[arebella]

Hiya hun!

Tham and I had some serious disagreements over the years and she was not happy with either me or Karesia when we broke away from KSmithAres to found a strictly het/gen list, Altar_of_Ares. But in time, she understood that KSmithAres had become all slash and the het fic just wasn't welcome there anymore.

She and I patched up our differences and I'm glad we did. She could be harsh and judgemental, but she could also be warm and supportive. More than anything else, she was a brilliant writer and storyteller.
In the last few yrs., we had gotten to a place in our friendship where we could joke about my distaste for Ares slash and her hate of the dreaded Mary-Sue that she perceived most het to be.

I will miss her very much. The fandom has suffered a great loss and I've lost a good friend.

{{{{{{{{{{{{{Kendaa}}}}}}}}}}}

[valeriejoy]

I'm so sad to hear about this. :( So I read the story (which I hadn't read before) and it was wonderful.

Good journey to Thamiris.

And a fitting tribute here...

[arebella]

Thanks, hun. With Tham being a slash writer, I could never quite convince her that her het and gen fic were every bit as good as her slash. But they were and it meant a great deal to me that every now and then, she'd write a story for me because she knew how much I liked her writing. She's written huge,book-length slash epics which are unbelieveably good, but my favorites of all her work are these two. When she would send me an email about some new slash story that she'd posted and wanted some feedback on, she would always say something like "I know you'll hate this scene between Ares and Iphicles on page xx, so don't give yourself a headache from grimmacing when you read that part." It was a running joke between us for years.

Hugs!

[sahbra]

I didn't know Tham, but I remember you talking about her. I'm sorry for your loss and for her family. She will live on in your hearts and memories. (Great stories here... I enjoyed reading them.)

[arebella]

Thanks, hun. I knew she had been fighting the Big C, but didn't know that it was bilateral and a very agressive form of the disease that wasn't responding to any treatments. From what I understand, she knew it was terminal and knew she was going to die, but didn't want to spend what time she had left worrying her friends, so she didn't talk about it much.

The thing that really sticks with me is that for many years, she was a heavy smoker and was always trying to quit, but never completely did. She'd post in her journal that she was giving it another attempt and we'd all cheer her on, but she never quite gave it up completely and fell back into smoking. I can't help buy wonder if that long history of heavy smoking may have contributed to her cancer in some way.

Love ya, LOTS!

[mistressviper]

I will miss her, greatly. Though she can now talk to Kevin and keep him company.

ladyviper