MASTER POST Title: Smoke And Lightning: Born To Be Wild (29/?)
Authors: bloody_adorable and eviltwin
Fandoms: Supernatural RPS
Pairing: Jensen Ackles / Jared Padalecki.
Rating: Adult.
Wordcount: 4,242
Summary: AU. They're born to be wild. At least, Jared is. Jensen's learning, though, and he's learning from the best. The only thing that seems to stand between them is trust. Can they make it, or will it prove too much even for them?
Disclaimer: None of the following is true in any way, and no profit is made from this work of fiction.
"Give me my goddamn keys, Jay!"
CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE
"Give me my goddamn keys, Jay!"
Jared held the bunch of keys up above his head, laughing when Jeff tried to reach and just couldn't. "No way, man, tell me where you're goin'. You leave me and Phin here by ourselves to deal with your fucking crew then you gotta tell me where you're-Ow! Fuck!" Jared rubbed his arm where Jeff had just punched it and scowled at him as he twirled the bunch of keys around his finger.
"I don't have to tell you shit. Sometimes, Jay, you just gotta go with the surprises that life throws at you."
"And what the hell's that supposed to mean?" Jared asked, but Jeff was already on his way out of the door. "You sound like a damned fortune cookie!" He yelled after him, then turned back towards Phin with a frown on his face. "Do you know what he's up to?"
Phin shrugged. "Ain't got a clue, man. Come on and give me a hand with this, would you?"
Jared headed over to him, lifting one end of the heavy worktop. Together, they manouvered it into place and Jared pressed his hands down against it while Phin reached for his drill.
"Hey, you were pretty cool at the rally, by the way. I should have said something at the time, but-"
"You were sort of preoccupied," Phin interrupted. "So that was Alan Ackles, huh?"
"Uh-huh. Jensen's very disowned father."
"He was one hell of a dick. He always been like that?"
Jared shrugged. "He used to be worse. Or maybe he just seems a little better because Jensen deals with him instead of being afraid of him now."
"Good to see he doesn't take after his old man."
"Like you and Rock, huh?" Jared grinned, punched Phin gently in the arm. "You're way worse."
Phin laughed. "Fuck you. I'm serious, though. Jensen's good for you. Never thought I'd say it, but... You settling down? Could be good for both of you."
"You think we're going to settle down?"
"Jared." Phin shook his head, like his friend really wasn't getting something. "You kind of already have."
Jared was quiet for a while after that, thinking that over. He'd noticed, he knew that. He obviously just hadn't thought about it as much as everybody else seemed to be.
"Speaking of settling down," Phin said, suddenly, "I think Pops might be thinking about, y'know, doing the same."
Jared had to double-take at that. "Really?
"C'mon. When have you ever known him to stay with a chick longer than one night?"
"Ohh, that's where you get that from.." Jared chuckled, ducking when Phin reached across to try and hit him.
"Hey, I can't help it. Girls dig the tattoos. The muscles. The startling good looks... But that's not the point. He asks Donna to stay with him and she says yes? That'd be weird, huh?"
Jared nodded. Pretty weird. "Almost as weird as you thinking that girls dig your muscles. What the hell?"
"Fuck you!" Phin shouted, even as he tried not to laugh. "Fuck you so hard!"
Jared leaned back against the wall behind him, throwing his arms above his head. "Oh yeah, fuck me so hard!" He yelled back. The other guys there hollered at him to shut up and soon the bar was filled with the noise of their shit-talking and shouting.
When it finally calmed and went a bit quieter, Phin asked Jared if he could grab a couple of the counter tiles from the back of the room.
"Okay, but you've only got me for another half hour. Make the most of my muscles while you can."
Shaking his head, Phin straightened. "Don't flatter yourself, man. I got this. Where're you going? Got some hot date waiting on the side?"
"Oh yeah, hopefully. I time it right and I might even get a blowjob out of the deal. Jensen's break," he added, at Phin's look of confusion.
"Way too much information," Phin told him. "You may as well head off now. There's not much more you can do anyway."
"Just as well," Jared said, looking around the bar. It would take another week for them to finish with all the fittings, fixtures and decoration, but the place was very nearly done. And it really was just as well, since Mickey planned to have a party held there in another couple of weeks. They were reaching the build-up to Christmas, and he wanted to prove that the bar could handle it in the hopes of securing some bookings for last minute Christmas get-togethers. The income boost would be a boon for all of them in the early stages of the bar's new incarnation. The new bar meant a new direction for Mickey, and he was looking at a path that meant the greatest financial reward for everyone involved. Jared guessed that he was looking to fully retire in a few more years.
He grabbed his things together and stuffed them into a backpack, fastening it shut and slinging it over his shoulders. He raised a hand and waved at them all before he headed out to where his bike was parked. He thought of Jensen on his bike, earlier in the week. He was gaining confidence with it, finally. Donna had made him get a Learner's License and told him that she wanted him going for his full license by Christmas, or just after, so he'd have to work hard if he wanted to keep riding the bike. He refused to ride it to school still, sticking to practice runs late at night when there was not too much other traffic on the roads. They'd go somewhere quiet and play follow-the-leader, with Jared on his bike in front.
Jared started late enough at the bar that he could take Jensen to school first, or the hospital, and then come back for him when he was finished. If he couldn't make it, Jensen usually caught the bus instead. Today he'd decided that he would be there. It was almost lunch time and he was going to meet Jensen for his break, then go work at the garage for a few hours before heading back and picking him up. Money from Mickey and from the garage was slowly building up in his account. Jensen never asked how they were doing for money and Jared never told him. There was no guilt that way. They'd agreed on that long ago. Jensen had suggested that he get a weekend job and Jared had flat-out refused. He saw too little of him already, in his opinion. He didn't need him to start working as well.
Jensen had thought it would be weird, working with Dr Lang once Jared had been in to speak with him. It wasn't. John continued to act like nothing had happened and he made no more advances, as promised. Jensen didn't know what had been said and Jared hadn't told him, but he figured he should count himself lucky that it had just been words exchanged, and not punches. Jared had changed a lot, he realized, and Jensen just kept falling more in love with him.
He was sat in the doctor's lounge, reading through another in a long list of thick textbooks he had been recommended by Ballantine. There was a packet with a tuna sandwich in it beside him, untouched, and half a mug of coffee which he'd let go cold because he'd forgotten it was there. He was on a break in the middle of his only day at the hospital this week and he was so deeply engrossed in his reading that he didn't realize anyone had come into the room until he heard the two nurses talking behind him.
"Did you see that guy out by reception?"
"God, what I wouldn't give..."
"I know what you mean. I wonder what he does. Looks like he should be a fireman or something."
"He could definitely carry me over his shoulder, any time."
Jensen tuned out when they started talking about fire hoses, rolling his eyes and turning back to his book. Then the two nurses went dead quiet, followed by a quick burst of whispering and the clattering of chairs as they quickly left. He didn't bother looking round, not until somebody pulled the chair next to his back and turned it around to straddle it.
"Scrubs."
"Jay, what're you-"
"Teasing the hot nurses, from the sound of it." Jared looked back over his shoulder. Saw them huddled around the nurse's station opposite the door to the lounge. One of them glanced back and saw him looking, quickly turned back to her friends. "That's kind of adorable."
Jensen had seen it too, and shook his head at his books. "I thought you were at the bar today?"
Jared shrugged. "I knocked off early. Came to see you. I have a proposition for you."
"Do you really?"
"Yeah. Only..." Jared looked around. "Not here. We need to find somewhere more private."
Jensen picked up his mug and took a sip of coffee, wrinkling his nose when he realized it had gone stone-cold. "Why? Does this proposition involve some kind of public sex?"
"I wouldn't say public, exactly. That's why we need to find somewhere more private."
"Jared, no. I could get kicked out."
"See, that's what I thought you'd say. And I have an answer to that." He leaned in closer to Jensen, until they were almost touching. "We'll just be really, really quiet." He dropped a soft kiss on Jensen's mouth as he finished talking, and closed his eyes briefly when Jensen kissed back, harder. "Bathroom stall?"
"Classy," Jensen answered. "I see you thought that through."
"You have something else in mind?"
"Yes, Jared, I have finishing my lunch and this chapter in mind." Jensen sighed, looking down at the table. He picked at the edge of it. "I'm sorry, Jay, I just don't want to get in trouble here. I don't want you to make me feel like you're marking me as your territory right where Dr Lang can see. Don't think I don't know that's why you're doing this."
"It's not-" Jared cut himself off, knowing that Jensen was partly right and knowing that he would see right through him. "Fine, it is partly because of that. And partly because I miss you and every second I'm with you just makes me even more horny."
"Go and watch some porn like normal people. We live right next door to the perfect place, Jay. Why not treat yourself?"
"You used to like sex with me," Jared tried, pouting a little bit. Jensen shook his head and leaned into Jared's space, nuzzling into his neck.
"I still do. I love it, in fact. And you know what? It's even better in our own bed with no chance of someone walking in on us and no shelves or door handles digging into my back. So just wait until I come home tonight, would you? My break's almost over, anyway."
"I think my balls are going to explode."
Jensen patted his thigh underneath the table. "Then you'd better get out of here, before being with me gets to be too much."
Jared sighed, but nodded in agreement. "I'll be here to pick you up later, okay?"
"Thanks, I appreciate it."
"You want to go over to Jeff's for dinner?"
"Is he expecting us?"
"Well... No. But he's hiding something and I want to find out what."
Jensen bit his lip. "Maybe you should just let him have his secret for now, huh?"
Jared studied his face. He was used to Jensen now, used to his habits. He talked to him every single day and he knew when he was telling the truth, when he was lying, and when he was hiding something himself. So he knew that Jensen wasn't letting on to something.
"You know what it is, don't you?"
"He might've mentioned it. And he might've sworn me to secrecy. You'll find out soon, I promise. But I'm not allowed to tell."
"What about if I cook your favorite food and do that thing you like with the-"
"Even then," Jensen interrupted, well aware that there were still plenty of people within earshot. "I promised, Jay. I'm sorry."
Jared nodded, then leaned over and ducked his head down a little to get to Jensen's mouth. He kissed him, hard, and Jensen felt Jared's hand come up to rest at the back of his head. "It's okay," Jared said, as he pulled away. "I'll see you later."
"Yeah, see you later. And I love you. And we're not going to Jeff's for dinner. Actually, I might've asked Chris over to us."
"I'm this horny and you're trusting me with both of you in the same room?"
"I am. But you're going to go out and fetch dinner because I need to talk to him about something and I don't want you to know about it."
"All these secrets floating around... A guy could start to get paranoid."
Jensen scraped his chair back and stood, watched Jared unfold himself from his own chair. He wrapped a hand around Jared's arm, running his fingers over the newest tattoo, and smiled up at his lover. "I promise you that there's absolutely no need. It's nothing bad."
"All right, all right. I believe you. Now I guess I'd better go, since you're not going to suck my cock." He bent and kissed Jensen one last time, told him he'd see him later as he pulled away slow.
The garage was busy at this time of year. Too many people forgot how to look after their cars in winter, or drove too fast in the wetter conditions and started having accidents. Jared didn't mind the pace, the pressure. The busier the better, since it got the day done with faster. He knew the manager wanted him to take on more hours, but he also knew that letting Mickey down would be far too much of a mistake. Mickey was an old friend of Jeff's and, as such, a good friend of Jared's. They were counting on each other, really, and Mickey was more generous with his deadlines. So he kept saying he was too busy to do more, but always ended up working over anyway. He almost didn't make it to the hospital in time, but Jensen was just coming down the steps outside when he pulled up on the bike. He handed Jensen his helmet and kept the engine running as the other man pulled it on and climbed on behind him.
He knew Jensen having his own bike was a good thing. He knew that Jensen suited the bike he'd picked out and vice versa. But he also knew that he would miss this. Having Jensen right there, right behind him, arms tight around his waist and life in his hands. He loved that responsibility, the rush of knowing that he could take Jensen anywhere he wanted and he'd have no choice but to be there with him. Not that Jensen would care. Jared could get on the highway right now and take the bike to fuckin' Canada, and Jensen would just call the school and say he might be off classes for a couple days.
He thought about it, now and again. Just upping and going to fuck-knows-where, just to get away from all the bullshit that had happened to both of them over the past year. But he knew that school was important to Jensen right now. He knew that he would hate the guilt of leaving a job half-done. And he knew that he would miss Jeff and Stevie and his baby sister way too much. Besides that, he told himself, there were plenty of good things to remember here, too.
Jared sped through the traffic to get home. He wanted a little time with Jensen to himself, before Chris arrived. Time alone was important right now. He knew when Jensen's schooling got tougher that he would barely see him. And it would get tougher. He was well aware of that. He wondered when he'd turned into the sort of guy that didn't want to just fuck, but also wanted to just hang out. To talk. To watch a movie, or curl up on the sofa and watch Jensen read his books, write his essays, do anything.
He felt Jensen squeeze around his waist and inched his hips back as he slowed the bike. They neared their block and the roar of the engine quietened as Jared eased up on the throttle and turned into the space between their building and the one next door. He parked in his spot behind the garage and climbed off the bike, Jensen right behind him.
They headed up the stairs to their apartment and Jared unlocked the door to let them in. Jensen dumped his backpack beside the door with a sigh of relief and then leaned against the wall to pull his boots off. Jared just stood there and watched him.
"You okay?" Jensen asked, hanging his jacket.
"I'm good. Sorry, I'm just... Thinking."
"About what?"
Jared shrugged. "How much I love you."
"We're not having sex before Chris gets here. He won't be that long, for one thing and for another-" Jensen shut up as Jared crowded against him, pushing him against the wall with his body and planting one hand either side of his head.
"I don't care. Sex can wait. I just..." He kissed Jensen carefully, only a touch. "I love you."
"Mm. I love you too. You really pick your moments, Jay."
"I know. I should take a shower and clean up, I guess."
"I grabbed one at the hospital. But yes, you absolutely should. Grease-monkey."
Jared refrained from making any dirty comment at that, and was pretty proud of himself for doing so. Instead he left Jensen in the hallway and headed through the apartment to the bathroom, slinging his jacket over the back of the couch on the way. He knew that Jensen would pick up after him and only felt mildly guilty at the thought. He showered, throwing his dirty clothes in the basket, and once he was dry he got dressed in clean jeans, socks and a dark shirt. He went through to the living room and found that Chris had already arrived.
"Hey, Jared," Chris said, twisting around to look at him from his seat on the couch.
"You just get here?"
"He did," Jensen answered. "Which means you're going to head out and get some food."
"Oh, that's right," Jared said, smirking. "So you two can..uh.. Talk."
Jensen shook his head, but said nothing. He watched Jared cross the room and go for his boots.
"Anything in particular that you want?"
"Anything, Jay. Whatever you decide."
Jared nodded, leaning over the back of the couch so that he could kiss Jensen. "I'll be back soon."
Jensen waited until he had gone, until the door shut behind him, and then leaned back into the couch. Chris leaned back beside him and let out a long breath.
"What's up with him? Something goin' on?"
"No, he just. I don't know. Since I told him about Lang it's like he's proving himself all the time. Except he isn't. He's just... Being Jay."
"And is that a good thing?"
Jensen looked at Chris and smiled, his face saying everything. "Yeah, it is. It really is."
"So what did you want to talk about? And why did Jared think we were going to fuck?"
"Because he's Jared and it's pretty much in the top three things that he ever thinks about. How are things with Lynn?"
Chris shrugged. "They're really good. Just like last time you asked. Jensen, just come out with it, would you? You're making me nervous."
Jensen leaned forward, twisting his hands together between his knees. He didn't know why he felt so ridiculously anxious about what he was about to say. It was just Chris. His best friend. They could talk about anything. They always had before. But he needed to say two things to him and one was going to be difficult while the other was just going to be scary. He'd been thinking about it for days, since Jared had spoken to Lang, and he had the feeling that Jared had been doing the same.
"I'm sorry. Chris..."
"What?"
"Fuck." Jensen turned, winding one hand around the back of Chris's neck and pulling him up close. He kissed him. It was just a touch, but with so much feeling. It was Jensen stalling because he didn't want to speak. He pressed his forehead to Chris's. "I love you, right? I mean, it tears me up every time I remember how I used to think that you were friends with me because it was like some duty that made you stick around."
"Jen-"
"Let me finish. You damn well knew why you hung around. And that's part of why I love you, you know. But it's, okay, I know Jared jokes about this, about us. The three of us or me and you or whatever. I know he's having fun with it and so am I and, fuck, I really hope you were as well. I just think that..."
Chris had his hand at the back of Jensen's neck now and he squeezed there, very gently, to let him know that he got it. That he understood.
"It's not fair, is it? I wish we could have it all, but I know we can't. Because it isn't right on any of us. I'm always going to love you-"
"You need this more," Chris interrupted. "And Jared does, too. This is about Lang, huh?"
"Partly. And Phin. We've both made promises and we've both got this trust in one another now. I just sat back and thought about us from outside. And it's just, it's different now. A lot different. When we started this fooling around it was different between us. This didn't matter as much to anything. But now it does and we just need to let it, I don't know. Fade out. Not... Not fade, but- Christ." Jensen leaned back, and now he could see Chris's face properly. He reached up and ran a hand through his hair, annoyed with himself that he couldn't keep it together for this. It wasn't like he was breaking up with Chris. It wasn't like either of them had expected this to be okay forever. There wasn't really anything to break and yet, oddly, he still felt like he had just really hurt them both.
Chris was smiling, though.
"You think this is it?"
"Huh?"
"You and Jay," Chris clarified. "You think it's forever?"
Jensen closed his eyes and didn't feel anything but calm when he considered the question. That word. Forever. He opened his eyes again and looked at Chris. "Yes," he said. "That's what I think."
When Jared returned thirty minutes later, with a bag full of chinese food that Jensen was pretty sure he had just gone a few yards down the street to get, the TV was on and a hockey game was playing on the screen and Jensen had three cold beers set out on the table and a space on the couch beside him.
"So. What did you two get up to while I was gone?" Jared asked, flopping into his spot next to Jensen and delving into the bag for their food.
"We talked," Chris told him.
"Oh yeah? About what?"
Jensen just shook his head and grabbed an egg roll right out of his lover's hand. "I'll tell you later. For now let's just shut up and enjoy the fact that I have no papers due tomorrow."
Jared leaned over and bit into the stolen egg roll, grinning around it. That definitely sounded like a plan.
He kept to his word. In bed, after Chris had gone and everything had been cleared away, they lay with one bedside lamp on. Jensen's body rested against Jared's and they were both damp with sweat and come and neither of them wanted to move, to clean up. Jensen told Jared everything that he had been thinking about over the last week. He laid himself bare and admitted what he was hoping for, and the doubts he had.
Jared held him even tighter in return and told him that he'd known. That he'd been thinking everything that Jensen had. That he felt like it could be forever, too.
"Then why did you tease me about Chris? All that today-"
"Because it was easier for me to say that than to do what you just did."
"I don't understand you sometimes, Jay."
"Me either. But I guess that's part of why we work."
"I guess so."
"So, hey, while we're sharing and being all hearts and flowers... You going to tell me what's up with Jeff?"
Jensen laughed, turning in Jared's arms so that they faced one another. "No way. I love you and everything, but that man can still scare me."
"Ah, it was worth a shot. Thought I'd get in there while your guard was down."
"Didn't work," Jensen told him.
"But I tried..."
"Not hard enough."
They continued the light-hearted bickering until talking became too much of an effort and then they fell asleep, still wrapped around each other.
--TBC--