Sitting on the tatami floor of the shoten, surrounded by awkward silence, feeling strange and alone, Renji was seriously contemplating killing the blonde man in front of her.
"How the fuck did this happen?" she growled, arms crossed, back straight and tense, eyes murderous.
Urahara just waved his fan, looking at Renji and then over at Ichigo.
"Well, I have been examining your test results more thoroughly, and I'm sure you will be pleased to hear that you are not going to be having a child."
Renji's shoulders relaxed a fraction of an inch.
"However, you are pregnant."
They tensed again. "What?! That makes no sense!"
"It does, if you will let me finish explaining. You see, when your form changed and you were put in a woman's body, the chemical make up of your body changed. Not only the general hormonal and physical changes, but there were also changes to your reiatsu that I had not anticipated."
Ichigo frowned, finally speaking up after a long period of silence. "Reiatsu changes? You never said anything about my reiatsu changing at all."
"That's because, at the core, Kurosaki-kun, you are in fact human." The green hatted man looked back at Renji. "Abarai-kun, however, is entirely a shinigami, and so was affected differently... Essentially, changing into a woman is also changing Abarai into a human."
Renji leaped to her feet, rage and confusion jolting through her frame. "What?! NO! That's not possible!"
"It is, I'm afraid. And because of the fact that you are becoming more and more human, your body is reacting strangely to the changes. You're experiencing what is known as a "false pregnancy" in which a woman have all the symptoms of pregnancy, but without actually bearing a child. You'll likely gain weight, and experience strange mood swings and cravings, you may even experience bouts of morning sickness. But it's really just your body fooling itself."
Something in Renji's eyes seemed to break, seemed to burst and shatter. "B-but... why?"
"You're body was already struggling to keep up with shifting from shinigami to human, but when you and Kurosaki-kun... well, it was the final push that caused your body to overreact."
Renji slid slowly down to her knees, hair in her face, hiding her expression. She should've known it was a bad idea, should've known better than to let all of this get out of hand.
But the way Ichigo had looked at her, with his eyes so dark and hungry, wanting her. Renji had been waiting for so long to see Ichigo look at her that way, since before this whole mess even started. She'd been afraid that if she waited, if she changed back, the chance would be lost...
That night... well it had been strange to say the least, and it had really reminded Renji just how much she did not belong in this body.
To start it had been easy, to touch, to taste, to do a lot of things that she'd always wanted to try with Ichigo. Then... It had hurt, to start, but the pain wasn't severe, more of an uncomfortable jolt. And Renji had never guess how much more sensitive this new body was. It was overwhelming and frightening and so damn good. And then it seemed almost like it was over too quickly, though it really had been going on for almost too long. And looking at Ichigo's pleasure drunk face seemed to make it all worthwhile.
But it was a mistake, just a stupid, stupid mistake.
"Abarai-kun?"
She'd been lost in thought, hadn't realized that Urahara was still speaking to her. "What? Sorry, I didn't catch that."
Urahara just nodded and repeated what he had said. "You're about half-human right now, I would say. But if this continues at the pace that it's going, I may not be able to make up a cure before it's too late to change you back."
Her head lifted to stare at Urahara, eyes wide, glassy and shocked. "You mean...?"
"You may become permanently female... and human."
"What should I do?"
"Stay in your shinigami form, don't use a gigai. And... if you lose contact with Zabimaru... Tell me right away."
Zabimaru. If she became human... she'd lose that part of her soul, she'd lose everything that she'd ever striven for. All of it. Gone.
She got up and left, and although Ichigo was completely shell-shocked, as unable to believe this turn of events as she was, he still got up and reached out for her.
"Renji-"
"Stay the fuck away from me!"
-//-
This chapter is short, but I hope it explains some stuff.
I really had you going for a minute, huh? Nope, no RenIchi babies this time, just some drama. Poor Renji, I'm such a bitch.
Does this make you feel a bit better, Spikykun? Sorry I had to torture all of you for a while. I was actually gonna wait longer to write this up, but I figured it was best to do it now rather than later.
Wow, this started off as a humor fic... Where did that go? It's really not funny anymore is it? Oh, well, guess I'll just have to change the category, ne?