Now, for something light and fluffy...
I few weeks ago I went to IKEA with my best friend in an attempt to buy sheets. I cannot and must NEVER enter an IKEA store unsupervised because I'm like a magpie on the lookout for shiny things. Or fluffy things. Or containers to contain things that could just as well be contained elsewhere.
Now, my best friend and I, we are enablers. "Should I buy this shirt that looks like this other shirt I have?" "Yes! Yes you should, it looks nothing like that other shirt you have." Enablers.
So when we go to a place together and we CAN ONLY BUY THE ONE THING WE'RE HERE FOR, we should probably take someone with us who has self restraint and can explain to us logically why we don't need Item XYZ and we should therefore not waste any money on it.
We came to buy sheets, which meant that we technically didn't need to walk through the entire store, but part of what makes an IKEA experience so great is just exactly that, while dreaming about the apartment we're going to have one day where we will have a room just for clothes. If we ever get married we will still live next door to each other; my best friend has already had a dream about that.
Part of what made this IKEA experience so great was walking through the children's section and finding circus dress up masks. My best friend put on a lion mask and, tattoos on display, leaned casually against a shelf, all 175 centimeters of her, grinning at everyone walking past, with about zero fucks to give. This is why I love her. Because she either gives a lot of fucks or none at all, and we balance each other. When she has no fucks to give, I usually give too many, and vice versa. Neither of us, surprisingly, had any fucks to give that day and so we stood and smiled and listened to people having serious conversations about glossy versus matte furniture until they saw us and burst out laughing.
Still, no sheets were purchased. However, we also were not yet in the sheet/bedding area and we were doing good because we had also not purchased anything else.
A couple of months ago, celebrating my best friend's birthday, I had been invited to her mom's house for cake. Her mom has a bunch of sheepskin rugs that she keeps on benches for people to sit on. My brain screamed, "FLUFFY!" and I was glued to one of them, stroking it the way Gollum would stroke The One Ring while my brain went into tactile overdrive.
We walked past the sheepskin rug section at IKEA. We almost walked past. "Oh look, didn't you really like these at my mom's?" "Yes, yes I really liked them. They were so fluffy." "You should take one." "What am I going to do with it?" "Lay on it. You always like flopping down on mine when you're over." "Do I really need one?" "I think you do. Also, you liked the grey color of the ones my mom has, and they have them here."
I stroked the fluffy fur of my dead and skinned sheep all the way to the sheet section, which I almost ran past in my glee. I also almost forgot which size I needed and also what color I had wanted. My best friend remembered because I tell her everything, even the size of sheets I need.
I did buy sheets that day, which I needed. I also bought a sheepskin rug, which I didn't need but which I wanted, and which actually sleeps next to me on my new sheets. I stroke it before I go to sleep.
I'm so strange. But I also have insomnia and stroking the fur of a dead and skinned sheep helps me fall asleep.
I'm glad my best friend understands.
Now, my best friend and I, we are enablers. "Should I buy this shirt that looks like this other shirt I have?" "Yes! Yes you should, it looks nothing like that other shirt you have." Enablers.
So when we go to a place together and we CAN ONLY BUY THE ONE THING WE'RE HERE FOR, we should probably take someone with us who has self restraint and can explain to us logically why we don't need Item XYZ and we should therefore not waste any money on it.
We came to buy sheets, which meant that we technically didn't need to walk through the entire store, but part of what makes an IKEA experience so great is just exactly that, while dreaming about the apartment we're going to have one day where we will have a room just for clothes. If we ever get married we will still live next door to each other; my best friend has already had a dream about that.
Part of what made this IKEA experience so great was walking through the children's section and finding circus dress up masks. My best friend put on a lion mask and, tattoos on display, leaned casually against a shelf, all 175 centimeters of her, grinning at everyone walking past, with about zero fucks to give. This is why I love her. Because she either gives a lot of fucks or none at all, and we balance each other. When she has no fucks to give, I usually give too many, and vice versa. Neither of us, surprisingly, had any fucks to give that day and so we stood and smiled and listened to people having serious conversations about glossy versus matte furniture until they saw us and burst out laughing.
Still, no sheets were purchased. However, we also were not yet in the sheet/bedding area and we were doing good because we had also not purchased anything else.
A couple of months ago, celebrating my best friend's birthday, I had been invited to her mom's house for cake. Her mom has a bunch of sheepskin rugs that she keeps on benches for people to sit on. My brain screamed, "FLUFFY!" and I was glued to one of them, stroking it the way Gollum would stroke The One Ring while my brain went into tactile overdrive.
We walked past the sheepskin rug section at IKEA. We almost walked past. "Oh look, didn't you really like these at my mom's?" "Yes, yes I really liked them. They were so fluffy." "You should take one." "What am I going to do with it?" "Lay on it. You always like flopping down on mine when you're over." "Do I really need one?" "I think you do. Also, you liked the grey color of the ones my mom has, and they have them here."
I stroked the fluffy fur of my dead and skinned sheep all the way to the sheet section, which I almost ran past in my glee. I also almost forgot which size I needed and also what color I had wanted. My best friend remembered because I tell her everything, even the size of sheets I need.
I did buy sheets that day, which I needed. I also bought a sheepskin rug, which I didn't need but which I wanted, and which actually sleeps next to me on my new sheets. I stroke it before I go to sleep.
I'm so strange. But I also have insomnia and stroking the fur of a dead and skinned sheep helps me fall asleep.
I'm glad my best friend understands.