Jan 12, 2012 01:25
"I tried to kill a spider with hairspray. It's still alive but its hair looks fabulous."
Funny, eh? I thought it was funny. I haven't killed a spider in years. I can't. I can't kill insects. I used to be able to, when I was younger and less thoughtful maybe but now... Well, now you should see me rescue moths out of the bathroom in the summer when they've flown in through the open window. Mostly they're the fat, fuzzy Lord of the Rings kind of moths. I think they started the whole I-can't-kill-insects thing. I had to save the moths. A moth saved Gandalf in a movie, I had to save that moth's sisters and brothers. They're cute, after all. They're fuzzy. They're soft. They're very, very lost in my bathroom and I hate the sound they make, that desperate sound when they throw themselves against the light.
So the moths started it. And then I had to rescue spiders because spiders probably have families, too. And they're useful and while they have more legs than I'm comfortable with they deserve to live. Not anywhere close to me, but they deserve to live.
And then, really, I just rescued everything. I taught an entire grade of kindergarteners to be nice to insects. We rescued insects together, on paper and in cups, and carried them outside. Ants, flies, everything.
I can't touch insects, I wouldn't ever have a pet spider. But I like rescuing them and putting them outside and watching them fly or crawl away. So that's maybe one thing I'm super weird about, this rescuing-bugs-thing but that's the way it is and I had to write it down. I keep seeing this spider with all that hairspray on its fuzzy back just reaching up with four of its eight legs and styling its tiny hairs into a mohawk. "Rock on," it'll say, high on hairspray fumes, and stagger away into the night.
Oh, and bees... don't ever get me started on bees. I once fed a wasp pieces of steak so there's that. That should tell you about me and flying, stinging things in striped outfits.
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