Prank
Title: Prank
Author: ardvari
Rating: R
Pairing: Sara/ Sofia
A/N: ariestess told me about how they had dildos sitting on a hill outside of her work and my muses ran off with the idea... what can I say?
Thanks to: shatterpath for the beta!
Odd. Odd was a good way to describe it. Odd and maybe a little strange and most definitely weird. Sofia tilted her head, crossed her arms in front of her chest and stared. She stared the way she had never stared at anything before, pondering the various possibilities of how and why there were two dildos glued to the pavement just outside the doors to the Police Department.
Gleaming in the sun, they seemed to mock her, one of them a shiny green, complete with sparkles while the other one was… realistic. Yes. Flesh-colored and veiny and… it had balls. It was glued to the basement by its fake rubber balls and Sofia stepped closer and nudged the dildo with her toe.
“Hey, hope you don’t do this to real ones.” Greg snickered as he stopped beside her, glancing down at the dildos. Hands in his pockets, he rocked back on his heels and grinned.
Sofia grumbled something entirely unintelligible under her breath and kneeled down beside the dildos. She refused to meet Greg’s amused glance and decided to frown at the dildos instead, as if they could tell her what they were doing here, on this oh so sunny morning, glued to the pavement like that.
“I guess someone wanted to make a statement…” Greg interrupted her musings, kneeling down beside her.
“What kinda statement? Up yours?” Sara asked as she meandered over, smiling from ear to ear. This was definitely much better than pulling dead people out of chimneys.
This was much better than dead people period.
“At least they don’t rotate.” Greg stated, poking the green dildo with his finger, as if he was scared that the color was contagious.
“They’re dildos, Greg. If they vibrated they’d be vibrators.” Sofia scolded, pushing her sunglasses up her nose as she continued to frown at the fleshy dildo. Pulling a knife out of her kit, she started to work the blade between the rubbery balls and the concrete, making Greg wince slightly.
“Wanna hear my theory?” Sara asked. “Couple of kids got drunk and decided to pull a prank.”
Sofia finally managed to pry the dildo loose and rocked back on her heels, grinning up at Sara.
“It is pretty funny, no doubt about that. I think lifting prints and hunting down the suspects may be a little… excessive,” she agreed.
“Now, if it happens again…” Greg started, shrugging his shoulders as Sofia started to wedge the knife under the green dildo.
“Then we most definitely have to take some action. For now I think we have more important things to do than chasing people who glue dildos to the ground,” Sara conceded.
They watched as Sofia bagged and tagged the two dildos, taking them in as evidence, just in case.
“So, where did you get your knowledge about dildos from?” Greg nudged Sofia as they trudged back into the shady cool of the PD.
“The internet,” she answered dryly, winking at Sara as she held the door open for her.
“And porn,” Sara mused, sauntering past an open-mouthed Greg.
He stood by the door for a moment, under the rush of the air conditioning as the two women walked off, cackling madly as they rounded the corner.
Author: ardvari
Rating: R
Pairing: Sara/ Sofia
A/N: ariestess told me about how they had dildos sitting on a hill outside of her work and my muses ran off with the idea... what can I say?
Thanks to: shatterpath for the beta!
Odd. Odd was a good way to describe it. Odd and maybe a little strange and most definitely weird. Sofia tilted her head, crossed her arms in front of her chest and stared. She stared the way she had never stared at anything before, pondering the various possibilities of how and why there were two dildos glued to the pavement just outside the doors to the Police Department.
Gleaming in the sun, they seemed to mock her, one of them a shiny green, complete with sparkles while the other one was… realistic. Yes. Flesh-colored and veiny and… it had balls. It was glued to the basement by its fake rubber balls and Sofia stepped closer and nudged the dildo with her toe.
“Hey, hope you don’t do this to real ones.” Greg snickered as he stopped beside her, glancing down at the dildos. Hands in his pockets, he rocked back on his heels and grinned.
Sofia grumbled something entirely unintelligible under her breath and kneeled down beside the dildos. She refused to meet Greg’s amused glance and decided to frown at the dildos instead, as if they could tell her what they were doing here, on this oh so sunny morning, glued to the pavement like that.
“I guess someone wanted to make a statement…” Greg interrupted her musings, kneeling down beside her.
“What kinda statement? Up yours?” Sara asked as she meandered over, smiling from ear to ear. This was definitely much better than pulling dead people out of chimneys.
This was much better than dead people period.
“At least they don’t rotate.” Greg stated, poking the green dildo with his finger, as if he was scared that the color was contagious.
“They’re dildos, Greg. If they vibrated they’d be vibrators.” Sofia scolded, pushing her sunglasses up her nose as she continued to frown at the fleshy dildo. Pulling a knife out of her kit, she started to work the blade between the rubbery balls and the concrete, making Greg wince slightly.
“Wanna hear my theory?” Sara asked. “Couple of kids got drunk and decided to pull a prank.”
Sofia finally managed to pry the dildo loose and rocked back on her heels, grinning up at Sara.
“It is pretty funny, no doubt about that. I think lifting prints and hunting down the suspects may be a little… excessive,” she agreed.
“Now, if it happens again…” Greg started, shrugging his shoulders as Sofia started to wedge the knife under the green dildo.
“Then we most definitely have to take some action. For now I think we have more important things to do than chasing people who glue dildos to the ground,” Sara conceded.
They watched as Sofia bagged and tagged the two dildos, taking them in as evidence, just in case.
“So, where did you get your knowledge about dildos from?” Greg nudged Sofia as they trudged back into the shady cool of the PD.
“The internet,” she answered dryly, winking at Sara as she held the door open for her.
“And porn,” Sara mused, sauntering past an open-mouthed Greg.
He stood by the door for a moment, under the rush of the air conditioning as the two women walked off, cackling madly as they rounded the corner.