10 Steps to World Domination
As I relax and watch as the brand new first year Gryffindors (my minions whether they know it or not) scurry around cleaning up my secret room in the Gryffindor tower I reflect on all that I have accomplished so far in my master plan to take over the world.
The acquiring of my minions has been going well. Most of them are unaware that they are in fact my minions. Several of them are higher up in the totem pole of HOL and do things for me that they don't realize fit in with my master plan. A few like Rowan are my willing minions. Ready to make someone disappear at a moments notice. Those are among my most useful minions.
I like to tell them that they are joining an exclusive club and must pay a fee to join. They willingly hand over their cash and personal credit information for their parents. Really their parents must teach them better. With that I have had some of my more skilled minions insert nifty little siphoning spells into their accounts which skims tiny amounts of money from their accounts and puts it into mine. I have quite the tidy sum spread out over several banks now.
Oh the power I wield over these young minds. I sway them with dreams of being in an exclusive club and offer them something they desire. Just little things like recognition for a job well done or the knowledge that they are 'chosen'. I wait at least a year before asking them to do things for me. Little things like tell me all the gossip they hear while on break at home. What their parents are up to and what the grown ups chat about at the boring summer parties. They are too quick to spill their guts and let me hear it all. They eagerly sit at my feet by the fire and go on and on for hours about nonsense. Occasionally letting a nice juicy tidbit about what Mr. Avery did at the guest house or how Mrs. Frampton was mean to her house elves and got a warning from the ministry about how heads on pikes weren't allowed in this day and age.
Those tidbits helped when I had to influence Mr. Avery into helping me set up a few 'accounts' under the radar at his bank. What better way to store my fortunes than in a legitimately run bank out in the open? I'll need to work on Mr. Frampton a bit more so he can clear up a few things I need done at the ministry. He wouldn't like his wife's few 'indiscretions' about the treating of their servants to get out in certain circles. I really need that import of killer bees from the states to arrive by next week at the latest.
I smile and think about the hives I have out in the Forbidden forest that my minions keep for me. They think it is just because I like to have some fresh honey to eat with my dessert. If only they realized that I'm secretly training them to kill on command and how to swarm a person. They would not be so willing to tend them.
I hear a noise in the corner of the room as one of new recruits drops a case of expensive chocolate they were organizing. I leap to my feet and scurry over to see what damage has been wrought. Fortunately it was only the outer crate that was damaged and not any of the contents. I make a mental note to assign that one bee keeping duty for the rest of the year as I smile at her and tell her it is all right that no damage was done and that maybe I'll even break out a box of chocolates for later when we get to gossiping about our summers again. It can be so easy to keep them in line when they don't even realize it.
What willing pawns I have. I return to my desk and go over my plans for this term. Two of my minions will be made into pawns by terms end. There are some influential Ravenclaws I need in my pocket and these strong young Gryffindors are just their type. I'll lay a few hints their way and groom them into the kind of boyfriend those Ravenclaw girls would like to have and then arrange for them to meet. It shouldn't be too hard. Those Ravenclaws think they are soo smart and brainy, but once you turn their heads all that smartness flies out the window and they turn into drooling besotted girls like any other. Just look at how they react when it is Doctor Who season on TV. Yes these boys will be perfect for my plans.
I watch as Rowan enters through our secret entrance and reminds everyone that it is nearly dinner time and that they should start moving towards the Great Hall. Leaving in small groups so the entrance will not be noticed by others. As soon as all of them are gone I will need to consult with her on one of my greater ideas. I shall need a Horcrux. Oh don't get me wrong, I despise the idea of having to kill someone to achieve my greatness. But as I spread my power base I shall need certain protections to aid me in my quest for world domination. While I pride myself on my ability to control all these tiny people there is always the possibility that one of them my try to 'take me out' in their shock over being trapped and forced to do my bidding. However Voldemort went the wimpy way and had several horcruxes made. How did he ever think he could win with tiny horcruxes that could be carried in your pocket? I won't make the same mistake that fool made. I intend to make my horcrux out of something so beloved that no matter how powerful and despised I may become they could not bear to destroy it. My short list for now includes possibilities like the Eiffel tower or the pyramid at Giza. Maybe even the statue of Liberty or maybe even the Stanley cup! Those Canadians would get in line to protect that one.
I can see myself maybe ten years from now, settled in a nice but not too overly large country manor. A handsome but a tad dim husband by my side, attractive children who know not to bug Mummy with trivial matters. A good front should anyone start to hunt for the elusive person with all the power running the show from the shadows. I'll have servants to fetch my meals and any other thing my little heart desires. And life will be good knowing that with a look I will be able to send great leaders rushing off to do my will.
As the last of the students leave and Rowan and I are alone in room at last I let out an evil cackle. I don't quite have the laugh perfected yet, but I have plenty of time to work on it. I won't make my final decisive move until I graduate and that won't be for another three years yet. Everyone knows you can't take over the world and be an evil master without an evil laugh.
(Just in case you missed my ten things you need to take over the world, here they are in list form :
1 control (minions)
2 money
3 power
4 influence
5 chocolate
6 bees
7 pawns
8 horcrux
9 spouse and child
10 evil laugh
Remember all those steps and maybe one day you will be the one to find me and take me down.
Muahahaha)