(no subject)
I feel really alone.
She loves me too much. It blinds her to my degeneration.
Since the quitting of drugs, I've lost my cushion. I can't block out that part of me, the one that is tearing me apart.
I have friends that I understand, but so few who understand me. I don't have the poximity that I should with the friends who can read me before I can. Without that, every destructive path comes to a head before I comprehend the situation.
i try to do what I should, quitting drugs, cutting down the drinking, and I remember why I did them in the first place. They silenced the part of me that destroys everything, the rage I lock away. I've been told I'm a mean drunk, but sober is so much worse.
She loves me too much. It blinds her to my degeneration.
Since the quitting of drugs, I've lost my cushion. I can't block out that part of me, the one that is tearing me apart.
I have friends that I understand, but so few who understand me. I don't have the poximity that I should with the friends who can read me before I can. Without that, every destructive path comes to a head before I comprehend the situation.
i try to do what I should, quitting drugs, cutting down the drinking, and I remember why I did them in the first place. They silenced the part of me that destroys everything, the rage I lock away. I've been told I'm a mean drunk, but sober is so much worse.