The Bus Adventure.
Aside from my crapiful morning, it's been a good day. Woke up at 7, and came up with the brilliant deduction that "Oh hey, class doesn't start til 8, I'll go back to sleep." So in my infinite wisdom, that's what I did. I wake up again with this HammerFall song playing in my head for some reason, and notice that is it now 7:51. Dandy. So I force myself up, do all that morning crap like teeth brushin and getting dressed. I leave by 8:05, and descend from my tower and across campus to the bus.
10 minutes later I arrive at the stop and see the bus sitting there to greet me. But, oh no, it's not greeting me, it's saying "Bye LOL!" and it fuckin leaves right as I get there, with 0 passengers. THANKS. So now I gotta wait out in the chilled morning air and plains wind for another bus. 20 minutes go by, nothing. They're supposed to run every 10 minutes, but no, not ever when I'm there; which is probably an unwritten rule. Finally the bus comes, driven by the same idiot that left me there. Fan tas tic. So I'm the only one on the bus as it sits there at the stop...for 10 minutes. No please, take your time, no one else uses clocks Mr.Busdriver, I'm here for you! 8:35 the idiotwagon departs, takes the long ass way around the stadium, around the psychology buildings, around the god damn entire campus. Nice joyride I supposed, now I don't really care if I'm late usually, but I don't really like arriving to class 40 minutes late and missing 3/4 the notes.
As I walk in the professor gives me a look as if he expected me to be late. I generally always am, though within reason, like 5-10 minutes. I sit there for 20 minutes, listen to two theories, out of the probably 10 the entire lecture covered, and class ends. I go back to the bus and get suddenly everyone in the world must get on this fucking bus. If there were a zombie apocalypse, and there was one last bus leaving the city, this would be that bus. So of course every good seat gets taken, except for the very back row, where no one sits for some reason. I soon found out why. As soon as I sit there, a train of manccubus and bi-pedal whales board the craft, causing it to shift in the direction of their weight. These beasts, winded from the two steps it took them to board the vessel, begin to lumber in my direction. I study the mothership herding her gargantuan brethren to the back. A repugnant melting slab of butter *gag*, held back by her Falloutboy hoodie *double gag*. In my mind I somehow could not have expected any less from the situation.
The titan docks with the seat in front of me as the air around us groans and strains, trying to contain the pressure of pure displacement. Wide load would have been an understatement, half of her 3 foot ass pours over the side of the seat and onto my leg. I began evasive maneuvers to avoid never being able to walk again and shifted to the window, leaving the back row open. To my dismay, I soon realized that this then paved the way for her two friends pulling up the rear. As they advanced I could see these juggernauts breaking kneecaps and smashing the feet of the innocents that defied their path. The Queen Marry and the Exxon Valdez, I dubbed them, had arrived. They ruptured time and space as the bench rumbled upon contact with their mighty asses.
There I was, cutoff and surrounded by the Meat Fleet. If I wasn't so sure that they had all ripped ass 20 times before sitting down, I'd swear they were packing slabs of meat under their mighty crevices. Sweaty, winded, diseased bags of meat. There is nothing less that could be said of these behemoths. I clawed at the window, but alas, to no avail. My keen sense of smell had been overridden by the stench of humanity and living death. By the gods of all the Nordic lands, I was at the gates of death. The Baelrog was bearing down and there wasn't a mage in sight. Truly, truly this was the end.
By the grace of all unspoken lore and mental legend, my moment in hell passed. I cannot give the details, as I must have willed myself unconscious to stay the pain. By the fates...
Anyway, I'm back up here in my tower in the sky now. This apartment building, the highest on every horizon, I have to say I love it up here. The view of the plains and mountains, stretching out to endless haze and mystery. And the sky, always marvelous regardless of any cloud condition. Lunch today, awesome, perfect, superb! Burgers and fries, holy crap something I can stomach! Though no on was on AIM or they were away watching movies or in class. This did give me a fair amount of time to tell my story though, maybe I should do it more often, it seems easy enough to make a living out of actually...
10 minutes later I arrive at the stop and see the bus sitting there to greet me. But, oh no, it's not greeting me, it's saying "Bye LOL!" and it fuckin leaves right as I get there, with 0 passengers. THANKS. So now I gotta wait out in the chilled morning air and plains wind for another bus. 20 minutes go by, nothing. They're supposed to run every 10 minutes, but no, not ever when I'm there; which is probably an unwritten rule. Finally the bus comes, driven by the same idiot that left me there. Fan tas tic. So I'm the only one on the bus as it sits there at the stop...for 10 minutes. No please, take your time, no one else uses clocks Mr.Busdriver, I'm here for you! 8:35 the idiotwagon departs, takes the long ass way around the stadium, around the psychology buildings, around the god damn entire campus. Nice joyride I supposed, now I don't really care if I'm late usually, but I don't really like arriving to class 40 minutes late and missing 3/4 the notes.
As I walk in the professor gives me a look as if he expected me to be late. I generally always am, though within reason, like 5-10 minutes. I sit there for 20 minutes, listen to two theories, out of the probably 10 the entire lecture covered, and class ends. I go back to the bus and get suddenly everyone in the world must get on this fucking bus. If there were a zombie apocalypse, and there was one last bus leaving the city, this would be that bus. So of course every good seat gets taken, except for the very back row, where no one sits for some reason. I soon found out why. As soon as I sit there, a train of manccubus and bi-pedal whales board the craft, causing it to shift in the direction of their weight. These beasts, winded from the two steps it took them to board the vessel, begin to lumber in my direction. I study the mothership herding her gargantuan brethren to the back. A repugnant melting slab of butter *gag*, held back by her Falloutboy hoodie *double gag*. In my mind I somehow could not have expected any less from the situation.
The titan docks with the seat in front of me as the air around us groans and strains, trying to contain the pressure of pure displacement. Wide load would have been an understatement, half of her 3 foot ass pours over the side of the seat and onto my leg. I began evasive maneuvers to avoid never being able to walk again and shifted to the window, leaving the back row open. To my dismay, I soon realized that this then paved the way for her two friends pulling up the rear. As they advanced I could see these juggernauts breaking kneecaps and smashing the feet of the innocents that defied their path. The Queen Marry and the Exxon Valdez, I dubbed them, had arrived. They ruptured time and space as the bench rumbled upon contact with their mighty asses.
There I was, cutoff and surrounded by the Meat Fleet. If I wasn't so sure that they had all ripped ass 20 times before sitting down, I'd swear they were packing slabs of meat under their mighty crevices. Sweaty, winded, diseased bags of meat. There is nothing less that could be said of these behemoths. I clawed at the window, but alas, to no avail. My keen sense of smell had been overridden by the stench of humanity and living death. By the gods of all the Nordic lands, I was at the gates of death. The Baelrog was bearing down and there wasn't a mage in sight. Truly, truly this was the end.
By the grace of all unspoken lore and mental legend, my moment in hell passed. I cannot give the details, as I must have willed myself unconscious to stay the pain. By the fates...
Anyway, I'm back up here in my tower in the sky now. This apartment building, the highest on every horizon, I have to say I love it up here. The view of the plains and mountains, stretching out to endless haze and mystery. And the sky, always marvelous regardless of any cloud condition. Lunch today, awesome, perfect, superb! Burgers and fries, holy crap something I can stomach! Though no on was on AIM or they were away watching movies or in class. This did give me a fair amount of time to tell my story though, maybe I should do it more often, it seems easy enough to make a living out of actually...