Broken
Today the memories won... Not only did they win they beat the loving shit out of me. Panic attacks, nightmares, seeing friends die in my dreams....seeing the people who hurt me in my life, the ones who does, the ones who walked out on me when they said they wouldn't.....the ones who never said anything about leaving but make me feel abandoned here. I feel so abandoned by god, by karma(the entity not my dog) I try to do good deeds and yet bad things continue t happen. I wish I could stop feeling like the only way out is death.... But right now I'm quite welcoming of it..... Of closing my eyes and not wishing and prayi g they never opened again. I wish I could end it all....I wish I could not care how it hurt people......
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