rosh hashana re-cap
So running rosh hashana services went . . . interestingly.
to start off, the microphone in the chapel was missing. Im not a fan of using a room dependant on the mike for good acoustics, especially as I don't use one, but the student leading alrge parts of services had been counting on one. So we had to project, and I found that I could actually project my voice quite well, though this is something I struggled with last year when davening in that same space.
we had our mess-ups, our wrong page numbers, etc.
Services left me cold. There was no ruach, and little kavana there.
The only part of davenign where I really felt like I was praying was mincha, where we didn't get a minyan so i davened by myself barefoot on the grass.
I didnt mess up in my leyning, which was really the only part of services I enjoyed. So much so that I might just read sefer Yonah on Yom Kippor.
We had an elderly gentleman offer to help us with services, and we took advantage of it, asking him to lead psukei one day and read haftara the next. I dont know if it was because Im younger than him, or a woman, but he treated me with no respect as gabbai. Friday night I explained to him our way of doign psukei, and what was expected otu of him. He wanted to do thigns his way and I ahd to explain to him like six times that he had to start with birchot hashachar and go straight through, no saying things before that and no skipping things after that. He showed up fifteen minutes late when he was supposed to lead (I quite regret not starting without him), then proceeded to rehash the same argument we'd had the night before one last time. Then he topped it off by doing a terrible job leading. He gave an encore performance of obnoxiousness today by complaining about how we gave out aliyot (the gabbai sheni had screwed up and did my best on the fly) and shofar blasts not being as long as he liked, etc.
lets see, what else. I screwed up page numbers several tiems but not for anything that mattered.
Our hillel director had planned to speak in between parts of the service, but he got sick adn couldn't make it. Saturday we just did the service straight through, punctuated only by the english readigns in packets we'd prepared.
Sunday, we were davening back at hillel, rather than in the chapel, due to a wedding as well as catholic mass in the chapel. unfortunately, the packets of additonal reading id spent so many hours preparing got locked in the chapel. I actually liked the services better without the english, but I fetl some responsibility to actually let people know what was going on, so when we got to areshet sefateynu, as well as malchuyot, zichronot, and shofarot, I interupted the chazan to introduce them and share a few thoughts on them quickly. Ad-libbing, while trying to speak something meaningful that comes from the heart and is supposed to be meaningful on one of the holiest days of the year was scary as hell. One of the girls sitting in the front kept whispering and giggling whenever I spoke. I'm assuming she was just taking advantage of the breaks in teh davening to chat with her friends, but there's nothing like someone giggling whenever to unnerve you in an already scary public speaking situation.
Other than all that (which is quite alot) I slept, read, ate, and talked with friends.
and I plan to not be at hillel this shabbat so I can catch my breath before falling headfirst into Yom Kippor
to start off, the microphone in the chapel was missing. Im not a fan of using a room dependant on the mike for good acoustics, especially as I don't use one, but the student leading alrge parts of services had been counting on one. So we had to project, and I found that I could actually project my voice quite well, though this is something I struggled with last year when davening in that same space.
we had our mess-ups, our wrong page numbers, etc.
Services left me cold. There was no ruach, and little kavana there.
The only part of davenign where I really felt like I was praying was mincha, where we didn't get a minyan so i davened by myself barefoot on the grass.
I didnt mess up in my leyning, which was really the only part of services I enjoyed. So much so that I might just read sefer Yonah on Yom Kippor.
We had an elderly gentleman offer to help us with services, and we took advantage of it, asking him to lead psukei one day and read haftara the next. I dont know if it was because Im younger than him, or a woman, but he treated me with no respect as gabbai. Friday night I explained to him our way of doign psukei, and what was expected otu of him. He wanted to do thigns his way and I ahd to explain to him like six times that he had to start with birchot hashachar and go straight through, no saying things before that and no skipping things after that. He showed up fifteen minutes late when he was supposed to lead (I quite regret not starting without him), then proceeded to rehash the same argument we'd had the night before one last time. Then he topped it off by doing a terrible job leading. He gave an encore performance of obnoxiousness today by complaining about how we gave out aliyot (the gabbai sheni had screwed up and did my best on the fly) and shofar blasts not being as long as he liked, etc.
lets see, what else. I screwed up page numbers several tiems but not for anything that mattered.
Our hillel director had planned to speak in between parts of the service, but he got sick adn couldn't make it. Saturday we just did the service straight through, punctuated only by the english readigns in packets we'd prepared.
Sunday, we were davening back at hillel, rather than in the chapel, due to a wedding as well as catholic mass in the chapel. unfortunately, the packets of additonal reading id spent so many hours preparing got locked in the chapel. I actually liked the services better without the english, but I fetl some responsibility to actually let people know what was going on, so when we got to areshet sefateynu, as well as malchuyot, zichronot, and shofarot, I interupted the chazan to introduce them and share a few thoughts on them quickly. Ad-libbing, while trying to speak something meaningful that comes from the heart and is supposed to be meaningful on one of the holiest days of the year was scary as hell. One of the girls sitting in the front kept whispering and giggling whenever I spoke. I'm assuming she was just taking advantage of the breaks in teh davening to chat with her friends, but there's nothing like someone giggling whenever to unnerve you in an already scary public speaking situation.
Other than all that (which is quite alot) I slept, read, ate, and talked with friends.
and I plan to not be at hillel this shabbat so I can catch my breath before falling headfirst into Yom Kippor