Oh why don't I let it consume me?

[arcpoet]

I've been feeling sick all day. Its been productive to an extent. I'm reading something that's helping me refine the ideas I have for my novel, yet I've felt disgusting the entire time. Its not really physical, I think its more on the inside, but I can't be too sure. I'm starting to hate this journal. I can't honestly express myself without

Comments

WARNING: long, random comment.

[kissmylove]

you should write whatever you want on your journal. just remember that everyone can see it. if you're fine with that, then so be it. no one can take that away from you. let them take you off their friends list because if they have such a big problem with you showing your real self, they're not your true friends. people can have opinions about your writing but that doesn't give them the right to diss your writing. they can use constructive criticism and express their opinion, sure, but we have a variety of literature for a reason and for all different people. there is no BEST writer in the world. there's a best book though(the Bible). whoever is saying that you're asking "emo" just because you write or talk emotionally is obviously insecure with themselves. they can't truly express their emotions so they ridicule other people. they make others feel subhuman to cover up their internal problems. express yourself and don't hold back. don't abuse your emotions. use them for the good and in God's honor. don't let others get the best of you because the only one you should try to impress is Jesus with your heart, thoughts, and actions. stand up for yourself. i say amen to basically everything, especially about the people at school acting worldly. they're not worth your time if they're just trying to bring you down to their level. there are fake Christians and real Christians at school, at youth group, everywhere soo just make sure you fit into the real catergory and i'll do the same. cause i don't wanna be a hypocrite. :) i'm glad to be a Christian and straight and hopefully a real friend to you and everyone. i've tried to hang out with you before and i can be either shy or outgoing. just depends. remember friendship is a two way street. decent, civilized, intelligent conversations should be put in use more often. i try my best(i can try harder of course) to stop gossiping. i don't really think i've gossiped about the youth group honestly. except for telling people the truth to their face. haha at the movies last night i saw a hugeeee line of people waiting for star wars around 10pm. some of them even had costumes on. now i wanna see it.

i'm aware i talk too much.

[kissmylove]

and i might have read this wrong.. but from your past few entries i can kinda understand why you might favor the seniors. but! that doesn't mean that you won't make real, new friends next year with all different people in different grades. and how do you know who takes a part in that behavior at the youth group/etc? only God knows everyone's thoughts, words, actions, and their true heart.. oh yah and it's up to you(and hopefully Jesus as well) who you like and who you will end up with. people should worry about their own lives and how they look in God's eyes instead of the gossip and jealousy. another problem with people today is how they view others just because of sins and mistakes in the past. if a person has improved for the best and God has forgiven them, you should too. you shouldn't act like YOU'RE the higher Christian because we all have problems and issues in life. we're not perfect, we're humans. another thing.. in emergency situations like someone's getting abused, then it's time to try to help the person and talk with them instead of getting in their business and gossiping about them. i'm sure that NO ONE likes to be talked about behind their back. put yourself in their shoes before you talk about them. you wouldn't like it and neither do they! it's better to tell the WHOLE truth to their face. even if it hurts. it hurts worse to find out from someone else or to only get half the truth. half the truth is just like lying. i really do hope i'm not being a hypocrite right now and really i know i have flaws and maybe some of this might apply to me in someone else's opinion. whatever. i don't know what else to talk about.. but anyone who replies to this BETTER watch what they say.

Re: i'm aware i talk too much.

[hcaz]

haha. Now I better watch what I say.

Re: i'm aware i talk too much.

[kissmylove]

if you feel like you have to say something, then say it. no one's stopping you.

Re: i'm aware i talk too much.

[hcaz]

naw I feel like keeping my opinions to myself, because if I do say something you guys well just get all emotional about it because you don't want to realize that it is true.

Re: i'm aware i talk too much.

[kissmylove]

well that's a first! just kidding zach. seriously if you really want to express your opinion then go ahead. i'm sure i expressed mine up there(i could have been more nicer instead of ranting and raving). as i said in there maybe in some parts i used to be a hypocrite but really i don't feel like i am part of the gossip problem in the youth group mainly because i don't partake much in the youth group anymore. i still go to church and youth group though sometimes(and sometimes at my friend holly's church). i will try to help though if i can. i know it's true that everybody has their own opinion. i won't get emotional because it doesn't hurt my feelings anymore. i've realized a lot in these past couple of months and i hope to keep on learning.