meh
When you dissapoint someone you truly care about you start to question yourself. I think about the directiion in my life and how it only consists on how to get money for either a gig smokes or booze... there must be more to it. I think about my past and how so many times i have been where i am now... stuck on a one way street with no side roads... I then think about all the events that have brought me where i am.. Many things i am not proud of.. infact very ashamed.. I know without those situations i wouldn't be the person i am today... but without them i wouldnt have the baggage that i carry with me. I try and comprehend the reasons behind some of my actions but i come up with no understanding of why i did what i had done. Im a strong beliver in living in the present.. what has happened in the past is exactly that.. the past... but how can i expect others to forgove my past when i struggle to do it myself.
Latly i have been so happy but at the same time so angry.. iw ish i could offer more to thsoe i care about. I feel like i have nothing to give them other then to pass time. Which can be a good thing, but sometimes it hits me that we dont have time.. we have moments.. and those moments are to create memories.
I try to be a nice person and i like to belive i very understanding.. not much opffends me.. and if it doesn i generally listen to what the perosn has to say and why they feel that way... but how can someone be understanding if it is not explained? I giess its another one of those situations where you just try to forget about it, stop putting your feelings first and "get over it" But with that being said i belive that when things are just forgotten they will come back to remind you of what use to be...
again the past creeping back into the present... No matter how hard you try you cannot run away from it.. You cant always accept it for what it was.. i guess you just have to accept it that it was you..
And hope that others realise that who you were several years ago is not who you are today.
Through my teen years i was someone completly different.. I didnt have much respect for myself or how others treated me... things that upset i would "get over" and then later end up in a ball willing to end my life because i didnt think it was worth it. I was striving to cling onto any attention.. weather positive or not.. And i was not willing to let go until it got really bad... I would do things i didnt want to do to hold onto the feeling of being noticed
in the past 2 years i have realised that its not what i am about.. I create my positives... I do things because I want to... I will only allow certain things to upset me and i will get over it.., by dealing it the way it should of been dealt to start with.
Now I Just hope that people can see i am not who i use to be. or who they think many people are like
So many people generalise with others.. compare them to other people or just stereotype them in a way that they all react the same
No one should ever be compared to others.. everyone is different. I knwo i am very different in the way i do/deal with things then my friends.... For example.. If someone told my friend they pissed them off my friends would crack the shits.. if someoe told me i had pissed them off id ask them why... and then id look at myself and maybe change it or appologise if it was an option.
I prefer people to tell me straight up... if it is going to upset me/piss off them so be it.. thats my reaction to their truth.... id be less pissed if they were up front then if it was kept hidden.
and now im going to shut up
LIGFS:UG:KGLKDSGAKGDF:
Latly i have been so happy but at the same time so angry.. iw ish i could offer more to thsoe i care about. I feel like i have nothing to give them other then to pass time. Which can be a good thing, but sometimes it hits me that we dont have time.. we have moments.. and those moments are to create memories.
I try to be a nice person and i like to belive i very understanding.. not much opffends me.. and if it doesn i generally listen to what the perosn has to say and why they feel that way... but how can someone be understanding if it is not explained? I giess its another one of those situations where you just try to forget about it, stop putting your feelings first and "get over it" But with that being said i belive that when things are just forgotten they will come back to remind you of what use to be...
again the past creeping back into the present... No matter how hard you try you cannot run away from it.. You cant always accept it for what it was.. i guess you just have to accept it that it was you..
And hope that others realise that who you were several years ago is not who you are today.
Through my teen years i was someone completly different.. I didnt have much respect for myself or how others treated me... things that upset i would "get over" and then later end up in a ball willing to end my life because i didnt think it was worth it. I was striving to cling onto any attention.. weather positive or not.. And i was not willing to let go until it got really bad... I would do things i didnt want to do to hold onto the feeling of being noticed
in the past 2 years i have realised that its not what i am about.. I create my positives... I do things because I want to... I will only allow certain things to upset me and i will get over it.., by dealing it the way it should of been dealt to start with.
Now I Just hope that people can see i am not who i use to be. or who they think many people are like
So many people generalise with others.. compare them to other people or just stereotype them in a way that they all react the same
No one should ever be compared to others.. everyone is different. I knwo i am very different in the way i do/deal with things then my friends.... For example.. If someone told my friend they pissed them off my friends would crack the shits.. if someoe told me i had pissed them off id ask them why... and then id look at myself and maybe change it or appologise if it was an option.
I prefer people to tell me straight up... if it is going to upset me/piss off them so be it.. thats my reaction to their truth.... id be less pissed if they were up front then if it was kept hidden.
and now im going to shut up
LIGFS:UG:KGLKDSGAKGDF: