Dash Board Confessions....

[arcitennoir]

So I was running errands today, stopped by what I call the Slut Hut, a CowGirls Coffee Stand, I turned to the Barista, Raised my SunGlasses looked her in the eyes, and Put in my order for an Iced Mocha...She starts to make it then starts talking... "I'M a Bad Girl Friend.".. I look in the Stand to see if maybe another Barista was there, but no, she

Comments

[alteregoliz]

My pain isn't about letting you love others, My Love. I delight in seeing you happy, even when you're with someone else. When I have clarity that I am undiminished in your affection and that I know where I stand, then I feel safe. Some of my happiest moments with you have been seeing the joy and affection you feel for everyone when I am able to make it safe for you to be yourself. It really does set the Panthere free.

And, I have an independent streak of my own. Even though I don't hunt as far and wide as you, I have enjoyed being able to date others as well.

None of us like a cage, but you feel caged more easily than most and that can be no easy thing...for I know you mean no harm...and I do not mean to cage you.

My pain lies in the misunderstandings and miscommunications, and I contribute equally to those. I wonder sometimes if you sense a cage when all I really need is a moment to connect with you, to clarify. Or maybe that is also a cage to you. I know recent events have me needing these things more than usual in the short term, but you set those in motion, Love, ;) and I am glad you did.

I am sorry to have made you feel uncomfortable. I am disappointed in myself that I haven't been functioning at this very well lately. Unfortunately, knowing I'm sucking at it is only making me anxious...which makes things worse.

I was actually hoping to make a suggestion this weekend. It's fairly unromantic, but will get us moving in a happy direction, I hope. Are you interested in a bit of a sit-down, a negotiation if you will? We may yet come to an understanding about commitment that will work. If we don't, I meant what I said. You are family to me, and always will be, no matter what form our relationship takes. I have never and will never hate you for being authentic.

I Love You. For Who You Are. And I don't want you to be anyone else.