American Bystander
Greetings Blue Retrievers!
"Okay here's the situation. My parents went away for a weeks vacation and they left the keys to the brand new Porsche. Will they mind well of course not." - DJ Jazzy Jeff and The Fresh Prince, Parents just don't understand.
I absolutely love it when critics pan a movie. I used to think that it was because when they hated a movie it usually turned out to be quite decent. No the reason I love when movie critics hate a movie they are so much more interesting to read when they can tear a movie apart then when they like a movie and have to come up with complimentary things to say. They end up sounding like Darth Vader with a basket full of puppies.
"uh good plot, made sense, emotionally connecting with the audience, a thinker, artsy, twisty, uh whatever." = Boring review.
But give them a bad movIe and let them off their leash and OH BABY...!
"This disjointed piece of crap, with it's space shuttle sized plot holes and totally unlikeable characters was a complete waste of time. Why any one would commit this dog turd of a movie to celluloid will evade this critic until the ends of time. If this movie was a sack full of puppies I would not feel bad drowning them in the river. And what the hell was with the secondary plot line I thought I couldn't care less with the A plot line until they introduced the B plot line. I have better movies splash into the toilet on a daily basis." = awesome movie review
When a critic, whether right or wrong, is allowed to rip a film to shreds that is what I consider the best film review. I don't even care if I like the movie or not. It's the preview that sells me not what some overeducated movie hater they hire to do the reviews that convinces me to go see a film. But I can always bad mouth the critic who bad mouthed the movie once I see the movie they panned. No wonder the whole thing is a multi-billion dollar industry.
"I call it a film, not a movie" - Gilda Radner as Lisa Loopner, SNL