eye of the sleep storm
man...I was so fucking hyper about five hours ago. I was ready to be productive, do something useful, not necessarliy useful to anyone but me - but I really wanted to.
I wanted to sit at the piano and let my hands go and go and go...I discovered that I play piano by touch as much as I do by sound...when I've memorized a piece or a phrase, it's as much the melodic and harmonic elements to me as it is a choreography for my fingers, a pattern of movements I can tap out on my desk, hitting the proper intervals because I know what they feel like. I can play them in mid air, and it's just as complete a piece of art to me as the music would be
I did get a chance to sit down at the piano for a little bit, before my hyperness died out. I played the same old sonata...with the music in front of me, not looking at it...I turn the pages when i'm supposed to, but I don't need to...I'm executing patterns with my fingers...but then they trip up, and I have to back up quite a ways to be able to get them going again...not the most productive method, but it feels so good when it works out...a more complete sensory experience. I'm all about those
but my brother stopped by...stuck his nose in my playing...not entirely, but i can never be as comfortable playing around other people as when I'm alone. I am really most comfortable alone in general, lately. "lately" as in the past year, i think...it explains why i feel a slight sinking of my heart whenever someone pulls up to the house monday nights, the only nights I have to myself for a few hours
unless of course it's someone I want to be alone with...but I haven't been that lucky yet
so i ended up watching a hockey game on tv, sucked my energy away, passed out on the floor till now.
-and I'm trying to figure out how I can talk about you on here, talk out loud to get my thoughts in order, but I don't know if I want you to read them, or if you'd want to read them, and of course you're not online right now either, damnit...and i'm trying to make this post longer so maybe you'll be on by the time i'm done-
sorry bout that, everyone else...
sucks passing out too early. sleeping in chunks works when it's over a longer period of time. But splitting a night's sleep into two over one night...not a good idea, in my experience
we're fucking ourselves over at work. the designers are still making adjustmenst this late in the game, and the consultant meeting today was evidence of how much that screws with us...no one can finish their part of the work because they don't have a finalized design to calculate off of. and it's a big waste of time and money to keep redoing it for every adjustment that's made. We're supposed to have our DD set done in a WEEK and they're still changing things. The contractors need time with a final design to price the construction, and the pricing package is due at the same time as the DD set...the "GMP" - guaranteed maximum price...
yeah I know this is just SO fascinating....
I think i'm deciding against the house at 21st ave and osborn for now...I at least want to wait a little bit, see if anything else comes up, and if someone else buys it in the meantime, then that's fine...yes, I'd be happy with it, but I know i would feel better with a different location. I would have already bought it if it was in the locations of some of these other houses I've seen. And come on, this was only the second time I'd gone out looking....I gotta give myself more chances than that
and i keep checking every minute to see if you're back online yet...
ok, maybe it's time for the second chunk now...
I wanted to sit at the piano and let my hands go and go and go...I discovered that I play piano by touch as much as I do by sound...when I've memorized a piece or a phrase, it's as much the melodic and harmonic elements to me as it is a choreography for my fingers, a pattern of movements I can tap out on my desk, hitting the proper intervals because I know what they feel like. I can play them in mid air, and it's just as complete a piece of art to me as the music would be
I did get a chance to sit down at the piano for a little bit, before my hyperness died out. I played the same old sonata...with the music in front of me, not looking at it...I turn the pages when i'm supposed to, but I don't need to...I'm executing patterns with my fingers...but then they trip up, and I have to back up quite a ways to be able to get them going again...not the most productive method, but it feels so good when it works out...a more complete sensory experience. I'm all about those
but my brother stopped by...stuck his nose in my playing...not entirely, but i can never be as comfortable playing around other people as when I'm alone. I am really most comfortable alone in general, lately. "lately" as in the past year, i think...it explains why i feel a slight sinking of my heart whenever someone pulls up to the house monday nights, the only nights I have to myself for a few hours
unless of course it's someone I want to be alone with...but I haven't been that lucky yet
so i ended up watching a hockey game on tv, sucked my energy away, passed out on the floor till now.
-and I'm trying to figure out how I can talk about you on here, talk out loud to get my thoughts in order, but I don't know if I want you to read them, or if you'd want to read them, and of course you're not online right now either, damnit...and i'm trying to make this post longer so maybe you'll be on by the time i'm done-
sorry bout that, everyone else...
sucks passing out too early. sleeping in chunks works when it's over a longer period of time. But splitting a night's sleep into two over one night...not a good idea, in my experience
we're fucking ourselves over at work. the designers are still making adjustmenst this late in the game, and the consultant meeting today was evidence of how much that screws with us...no one can finish their part of the work because they don't have a finalized design to calculate off of. and it's a big waste of time and money to keep redoing it for every adjustment that's made. We're supposed to have our DD set done in a WEEK and they're still changing things. The contractors need time with a final design to price the construction, and the pricing package is due at the same time as the DD set...the "GMP" - guaranteed maximum price...
yeah I know this is just SO fascinating....
I think i'm deciding against the house at 21st ave and osborn for now...I at least want to wait a little bit, see if anything else comes up, and if someone else buys it in the meantime, then that's fine...yes, I'd be happy with it, but I know i would feel better with a different location. I would have already bought it if it was in the locations of some of these other houses I've seen. And come on, this was only the second time I'd gone out looking....I gotta give myself more chances than that
and i keep checking every minute to see if you're back online yet...
ok, maybe it's time for the second chunk now...