(no subject)
Her feet were still swinging in the air and she was still kicking.
"You kick me and I'm leaving you here," Ranger said.
"Hmmmph," Lula said under the duct tape.
Ranger worked at the rope with his knife, the rope gave, and Lula dropped onto the table. Cal reached out to support her and the two of them went to the floor.
I ripped the tape off Lula's mouth and Ranger cut the tape that was binding her arms.
"I was drugged!" Lula said. "Do you believe it? I was taking the garbage out and he shot me in the ass with a dart. That little shit, Clyde. Next thing I know I'm swinging around from the ceiling. I'm beside myself. I'm in a state. I didn't know what to think.I saw some kinky shit when I was a ho, but I never did anything like this." She looked around, wild-eyed. "I need something to eat. This here's an eating situation." She spied the vending machine and stormed across the room. "I need money. I need quarters or dollars, or something. Omigod, they got Twinkies in here. I need a Twinkie real bad."
"What about the supermodel diet?" I asked Lula.
"Fuck that. I hate those boney-ass supermodels anyway. I don't know what I was thinking." Lula was shaking the vending machine. "Who's got a hammer?" she asked. "Somebody help me out here."
Ranger slid a dollar into the machine and Lula punched the button.
"Hello, Twinkie," she said. "I'm coming home. Lula's back in town."
The Stephanie Plum Series by Janet Evanovich...Omigod so fucking funny.
"You kick me and I'm leaving you here," Ranger said.
"Hmmmph," Lula said under the duct tape.
Ranger worked at the rope with his knife, the rope gave, and Lula dropped onto the table. Cal reached out to support her and the two of them went to the floor.
I ripped the tape off Lula's mouth and Ranger cut the tape that was binding her arms.
"I was drugged!" Lula said. "Do you believe it? I was taking the garbage out and he shot me in the ass with a dart. That little shit, Clyde. Next thing I know I'm swinging around from the ceiling. I'm beside myself. I'm in a state. I didn't know what to think.I saw some kinky shit when I was a ho, but I never did anything like this." She looked around, wild-eyed. "I need something to eat. This here's an eating situation." She spied the vending machine and stormed across the room. "I need money. I need quarters or dollars, or something. Omigod, they got Twinkies in here. I need a Twinkie real bad."
"What about the supermodel diet?" I asked Lula.
"Fuck that. I hate those boney-ass supermodels anyway. I don't know what I was thinking." Lula was shaking the vending machine. "Who's got a hammer?" she asked. "Somebody help me out here."
Ranger slid a dollar into the machine and Lula punched the button.
"Hello, Twinkie," she said. "I'm coming home. Lula's back in town."
The Stephanie Plum Series by Janet Evanovich...Omigod so fucking funny.