BLOOD WILL FLOW AND BLOOD WILL SPURT, ENEMIES KEEP THE MIND ALERT

Nov 10, 2005 12:20

We had to set up all of insurance here at work today. The guy who set it up was a wonderful fellow, who sounds just like Morgan Freeman ( Read more... )

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the_pilchard November 10 2005, 18:25:04 UTC
I would deserve it because I would spend every penny of it on illegal drugs and loose women, many of them amputee dwarfs. I might divert some into a fund to have my enemies offed, and maybe a few other people who have done me no harm, just for the fun of the thing. None of it would be frittered away on dwellings, food or the support of my army of dependants. I doubt if any of your other correspondents can come up with a more praiseworthy plan.

I could dream up some Machiavellian plan whereby I have you killed and all the forensic evidence points to an unholy alliance between Morganaus and givemethegun conspiring to, and succeeding in, killing you while I sit at home in Scotland with my feet up on the coffee table being blown by a local judge with all the police force watching to confirm my alibi. That would remove the personal touch, Bill, and be a poor repayment for your generosity. It's only just that you should get up close and personal with your beneficiary and not be killed in that shoddy mail-order manner ( ... )

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archiedavis November 10 2005, 18:33:26 UTC
wow.
this was quite engaged. i wouldnt even have a fighting chance.
which makes it all the more romantic.

or maybe you DO plan to send catt and mary to attack me, probably waiting until i am all liquored up, dressed as candy stripers or something.

although i doubt you would deny yourself a chance to use your victorian surgery equipment on a live subject...

this is so far the most imaginative.
i wonder if i could sign it over to a scotsman? they ask for a social security number, after all..

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the_pilchard November 10 2005, 18:36:03 UTC
DAMN those bureacrats!

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morganaus November 10 2005, 19:14:48 UTC
I love it. Let's do it! *orders 2 candy striper uniforms posthaste*

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the_pilchard November 10 2005, 21:06:59 UTC
Ferget the murder. Just you and Catt get here in the candy-strpier uniforms. Money's all very well, but we're talking deviant sex, here!

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morganaus November 10 2005, 21:10:10 UTC
Yeah, like we'd need an excuse!

Anyway, I'll be up there for the deviant sex to meet your good (!) self in August. I'll keep the uniform at the ready!

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the_pilchard November 10 2005, 21:31:28 UTC
Excellent. My apologies for the scrambled typing above. I got overexcited.

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karmakanic November 10 2005, 22:20:08 UTC
Oh no, you do not get to have deviant sex in Scottland without me. I'm coming with.

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archiedavis November 11 2005, 17:18:49 UTC
excuse me, people.

sexual assassination life insurance policy over here!

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givemethegun November 14 2005, 14:14:14 UTC

God, you're hot.

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givemethegun November 14 2005, 14:16:00 UTC

God you're hot.

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givemethegun November 14 2005, 14:15:33 UTC

God you're hot.

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