Nothing to say so I'll pretend: The classic "I just broke up" post
Caveat: This is fictional. I'm not single. Take down the que and go home, there's nothing to see here. Sorry to dissapoint, folks. This is a dramatization, and any resemblance to real persons or events are purely coincidental parody. I just love seeing these, they cheer me up. I hate couple. Even though I'm in one. Ok, here goes:
Today was a very bad day. Today, my heart was broken.
Woe is me.
Today my boyfriend/girlfriend/androgenoussignificantotherwhomayormaynotberomanticallyinvolvedwithme/llama left me. We had a fight.
I am sad.
It is a very private pain. It is agony and woe. There is a void inside me that can only be filled by throwing my personal agony into the void of the internet, where it can fester alone and nobody will see it.
I am empty.
This is not just angst. This is true suffering. Nobody has ever felt loss like this. I am the first, and the only, and the last who will ever feel this way. I am unique, because I had my heart broken. It was all his/her/its fault. I did nothing wrong. Except that I suck, and I"m sure that's why he/she/it left.
I am worthless.
Pity me and gice me compliments. They won't help, but that's obviously why I posted here. Now I shall threaten suicide/retreat from the world/self-mutilation/binge drinking in order to spur further pity. I will engage in self-destructive behavior unless all of you post and comment and tell me how much you love me and how important I am to you so that I may woefully and with tears in my eyes tell you how much it doesn't matter, but thank you anyways.
***End Pretend Post***
Ha ha! I take a bow. My tragedian skills amaze! Love me and throw roses. I should write movies.
Today was a very bad day. Today, my heart was broken.
Woe is me.
Today my boyfriend/girlfriend/androgenoussignificantotherwhomayormaynotberomanticallyinvolvedwithme/llama left me. We had a fight.
I am sad.
It is a very private pain. It is agony and woe. There is a void inside me that can only be filled by throwing my personal agony into the void of the internet, where it can fester alone and nobody will see it.
I am empty.
This is not just angst. This is true suffering. Nobody has ever felt loss like this. I am the first, and the only, and the last who will ever feel this way. I am unique, because I had my heart broken. It was all his/her/its fault. I did nothing wrong. Except that I suck, and I"m sure that's why he/she/it left.
I am worthless.
Pity me and gice me compliments. They won't help, but that's obviously why I posted here. Now I shall threaten suicide/retreat from the world/self-mutilation/binge drinking in order to spur further pity. I will engage in self-destructive behavior unless all of you post and comment and tell me how much you love me and how important I am to you so that I may woefully and with tears in my eyes tell you how much it doesn't matter, but thank you anyways.
***End Pretend Post***
Ha ha! I take a bow. My tragedian skills amaze! Love me and throw roses. I should write movies.