stolen from goudagirl

[archgirl06]

I want everyone who reads this to ask me three questions, no more no less. Ask me anything you want (though I reserve the right to not answer, or to answer evasively). Then I want you to go to your journal, copy and paste this allowing your friends (including me) to ask you anything.

Comments

[funnel101]

1. Is Creationism an issue in Judaism? I honestly don't know, and I've been wondering. What do you believe about it?

2. And I'm not asking this to be rude, but simply because I want to understand. Why is it so important to you to date a man with the same faith?

3. How's your throat doing? Are you feeling any better physically?

[archgirl06]

1. Honestly? I don't know and I also don't know how I feel about it. It's hard to take your entire public school education and say 'oh yup, that's not true cause the Torah says so!'.

2. I don't think the question is rude in the first place! The issue here is marriage. I don't want to fall in love with someone and then not be able to marry them. In short, you can't marry a non-jew within the Orthodox sect, and many Conservative Rabbis will also not perform intermarriages. You can't get a ketubah (literally, a legal document saying what you have to provide your spouse, etc) in an intermarriage. In the end, if you (meaning I) want to be a part of a religious community, I have to marry a Jew (and I don't really mind and was planning on it anyway before I became more religious).

3. My throat is doing much better! I almost have my voice back. =)

[eitanhalevy]

Creationism is certainly made into an issue by many, but I think the two can be pretty easily reconciled if one puts just a little intellectual effort into it.

[archgirl06]

I'd love to hear your throughts on it.

[eitanhalevy]

The short answer is basically my own version of 'intelligent design.' That animals were created over time, each step guided by the hand of an ever watchful and engaged G!d because that was seen by G!d--and therefore infallibly correctly--as the optimal way to create life in the world. I don't pretend to know why, but I don't need to. The time issue (six days) is actually one of the easiest issues for me, in that, for instance, what does 'a day' mean to G-d? What does 'a day' mean before the Sun and Earth have gone into their final form and established regular patterns of rotation? Also, if G-d wanted to make a 'day' last 6 million years to create sea creatures, he could do so. For that matter, he can just define 'day' as, in this case, the amount of time it took to do those things. In this sense, I am still reading the Torah literally, but I am questioning the literal meaning of the words in the context of the creation of the universe. Judaism explicitly acknowledges that the very laws of nature have changed over different

[archgirl06]

Well that makes a lot of sense... however as you said,
you don't expect the average frum person, or rav to agree with you. =p

[eitanhalevy]

Yes, but I'm yet to be told the idea is heretical. Mostly just that it is not usually thought of and discussed in this way. And I've discussed this with some very no-nonsense, Litvish rebbeim.

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[funnel101]

That seems so strange to me. Why wouldn't you be able to marry a non-Jew? *is tilting head irl in confusion* I mean, why wouldn't you be able to be part of the religious community if you didn't marry a Jew?

I guess it's so hard for me to understand because I've actually never dated someone who believed exactly what I did. Rob's probably the closest, but he's a Creationist and believes a lot of things that I don't believe. My last boyfriend, Andy, was an atheist. Actually, no, Tom was the closest, as he's a Roman Catholic, but we were only together 9 days.

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[archgirl06]

Here.

Since my explanation would not be as complete or good.

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[funnel101]

This may reflect the fact that Jews who intermarry are not deeply committed to their religion in the first place: if they were, why would they marry someone who did not share it?

Ouch. So I'm not deeply committed to my faith because I didn't marry someone with the same faith?

The "it's harder to raise children Jewish in an interfaith marriage" argument makes sense to me, but... Personally, Rob and I plan on sharing our different faiths with the children, including Creationism vs. evolution, and letting them decide.

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[archgirl06]

Ouch. So I'm not deeply committed to my faith because I didn't marry someone with the same faith?

I think the issue here is that you can't really take your experience and relate it to the Jewish one. I know that sounds like I'm all elitist and stupid, but honestly. It's like a vegan trying to live with a meat eater (in very very very simple terms -- let's not even get started about clothing, if you keep Shabbat, traditions, community, family, etc). The vegan doesn't want to see any meat around the house whatsoever, but the meat eater needs and loves meat. Obviously there are going to be some issues.

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[funnel101]

But... okay, I'm seriously allergic to fish, for example. Rob loves seafood, but he knows he can't cook it in the house. I'd think that, in a Jewish-notJew marriage, the notJew would be willing to do whatever he/she needed to to keep the house kosher and to allow his/her spouse to practice his/her religion.

I'm not saying there aren't going to be issues; it just seems that these are all issues that can be worked through in a healthy marriage.

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[archgirl06]

Right. What if the marriage wasn't healthy and "Rob" felt bitter about not being able to eat fish? What if you demanded that when you went over to the inlaws, they could not make fish or give it away, what if the inlaws started hassling "Rob" about the fish? What if you refused to eat anything at your inlaws or brought over seperate dishes when you went over there? What if your inlaws thought it was because you didn't like their cooking, or worse, them?

See? Even if your relationship with Rob is healthy (and the issue of fish is very small, but I guess it works in this analogy), you might have outside influences that hurt it.

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[funnel101]

I guess I just feel that it's limiting to only date Jewish guys. If you'd told me 5 years ago that I'd be married to a Creationist, I would have laughed at you and told you no fucking way. Sometimes you don't end up with the person you expected to.

I feel like if you make a big deal out of your faith right away, you'll weed out the people who wouldn't be understanding and accepting of it. I think my health in general actually would be a better comparison: I *always* made sure my SO or potential SO (friends too, actually) understood *exactly* what my health problems were and how much they affect me. And if they couldn't accept my health problems, then I deserved better. I guess my ultimate question is why you couldn't do the same with your faith?

And you don't have to justify yourself to me; I'm really just curious and trying to understand.

Re: 2

[eitanhalevy]

Note: I do not presume to speak for archgirl06 here, only for myself. Her views on this may be very different, or maybe not

Re: 2

[archgirl06]

OMG, B'H. I was hoping you would comment in this thread! Thanks.