Day 2
Why is it so hard for human beings to end relationships with other human beings? Why do people who aren't friends anymore still go through the motions? Why does an abused housewife stay with her abusive asshole husband? Is it because people prefer the familiar to change? They were comfortable in their life and don't want to disrupt the balance they've worked so hard to build? I don't know. People are weird. How can someone just all of a sudden decide they aren't friends with another person? Is it spontaneous, or does it happen so gradually that you don't notice it until it's already dead?
I still hate it here. Every place I revisit disgusts me. Not that its anyones fault, I just don't feel at home here. It feels like I'm in hostile territory, but instead of trying to escape unnoticed, I have to defeat all the enemies and take my place as ruler of this land. I just want to live in Colorado, why is that so difficult? There should be a relocation program. You shouldn't be trapped wherever you grew up just because you don't have the means to move. If someone would just give me the money required to move and first months rent, I could take care of the rest myself. I know it's not really plausible to do something like that, but you get my point. That's just the initial idea, it could be changed, built upon, to make it something cost effective and easily initiated. But for the time being, I'm trapped in hell. It is a good motivator to get me out of here, and a reminder of why I should succeed so I never have to come back, at least to stay. I would be enjoying it right now if I were to be going back to CO this weekend. But I'm not.
Anyway, I'm a little tired and the creative juices are not flowing as well as they should be right now. So I'll leave you with this. I always thought this song was sappy and lame, but now I understand. It took 10 years to get it, but now I have finally met someone who makes me sing this song in my heart. I didn't just meet her now, it was about two and a half years ago, August 2006. If that bitch on the bike had never caused me so much legal grief, I wouldn't have needed a job back then and the only interaction we would have ever had was her making my sandwich. That just is more evidence that everything has a way of working itself out in the long run. Anyway, this song is for you baby.
I could stay awake just to hear you breathing
Watch you smile while you are sleeping
Far away and dreaming
I could spend my life in this sweet surrender
I could stay lost in this moment forever
Well, every moment spent with you
Is a moment I treasure
I don't wanna close my eyes
I don't wanna fall asleep
'Cause I'd miss you, babe
And I don't wanna miss a thing
'Cause even when I dream of you
The sweetest dream will never do
I'd still miss you, babe
And I don't wanna miss a thing
Lying close to you
Feeling your heart beating
And I'm wondering what you're dreaming
Wondering if it's me you're seeing
Then I kiss your eyes and thank God we're together
And I just wanna stay with you
In this moment forever, forever and ever
I don't wanna close my eyes
I don't wanna fall asleep
'Cause I'd miss you, babe
And I don't wanna miss a thing
'Cause even when I dream of you
The sweetest dream will never do
I'd still miss you, babe
And I don't wanna miss a thing
I don't wanna miss one smile
I don't wanna miss one kiss
Well, I just wanna be with you
Right here with you, just like this
I just wanna hold you close
Feel your heart so close to mine
And stay here in this moment
For all the rest of time
Don't wanna close my eyes
Don't wanna fall asleep
'Cause I'd miss you, babe
And I don't wanna miss a thing
'Cause even when I dream of you
The sweetest dream will never do
'Cause I'd still miss you, babe
And I don't wanna miss a thing
I don't wanna close my eyes
I don't wanna fall asleep
'Cause I'd miss you, babe
And I don't wanna miss a thing
'Cause even when I dream of you
The sweetest dream will never do
I'd still miss you, babe
And I don't wanna miss a thing
Don't wanna close my eyes
Don't wanna fall asleep, yeah
I don't wanna miss a thing
I still hate it here. Every place I revisit disgusts me. Not that its anyones fault, I just don't feel at home here. It feels like I'm in hostile territory, but instead of trying to escape unnoticed, I have to defeat all the enemies and take my place as ruler of this land. I just want to live in Colorado, why is that so difficult? There should be a relocation program. You shouldn't be trapped wherever you grew up just because you don't have the means to move. If someone would just give me the money required to move and first months rent, I could take care of the rest myself. I know it's not really plausible to do something like that, but you get my point. That's just the initial idea, it could be changed, built upon, to make it something cost effective and easily initiated. But for the time being, I'm trapped in hell. It is a good motivator to get me out of here, and a reminder of why I should succeed so I never have to come back, at least to stay. I would be enjoying it right now if I were to be going back to CO this weekend. But I'm not.
Anyway, I'm a little tired and the creative juices are not flowing as well as they should be right now. So I'll leave you with this. I always thought this song was sappy and lame, but now I understand. It took 10 years to get it, but now I have finally met someone who makes me sing this song in my heart. I didn't just meet her now, it was about two and a half years ago, August 2006. If that bitch on the bike had never caused me so much legal grief, I wouldn't have needed a job back then and the only interaction we would have ever had was her making my sandwich. That just is more evidence that everything has a way of working itself out in the long run. Anyway, this song is for you baby.
Click to viewI could stay awake just to hear you breathing
Watch you smile while you are sleeping
Far away and dreaming
I could spend my life in this sweet surrender
I could stay lost in this moment forever
Well, every moment spent with you
Is a moment I treasure
I don't wanna close my eyes
I don't wanna fall asleep
'Cause I'd miss you, babe
And I don't wanna miss a thing
'Cause even when I dream of you
The sweetest dream will never do
I'd still miss you, babe
And I don't wanna miss a thing
Lying close to you
Feeling your heart beating
And I'm wondering what you're dreaming
Wondering if it's me you're seeing
Then I kiss your eyes and thank God we're together
And I just wanna stay with you
In this moment forever, forever and ever
I don't wanna close my eyes
I don't wanna fall asleep
'Cause I'd miss you, babe
And I don't wanna miss a thing
'Cause even when I dream of you
The sweetest dream will never do
I'd still miss you, babe
And I don't wanna miss a thing
I don't wanna miss one smile
I don't wanna miss one kiss
Well, I just wanna be with you
Right here with you, just like this
I just wanna hold you close
Feel your heart so close to mine
And stay here in this moment
For all the rest of time
Don't wanna close my eyes
Don't wanna fall asleep
'Cause I'd miss you, babe
And I don't wanna miss a thing
'Cause even when I dream of you
The sweetest dream will never do
'Cause I'd still miss you, babe
And I don't wanna miss a thing
I don't wanna close my eyes
I don't wanna fall asleep
'Cause I'd miss you, babe
And I don't wanna miss a thing
'Cause even when I dream of you
The sweetest dream will never do
I'd still miss you, babe
And I don't wanna miss a thing
Don't wanna close my eyes
Don't wanna fall asleep, yeah
I don't wanna miss a thing