[Gundam 00] The Subtle Grace of Gravity (Arc 7)
Title: The Subtle Grace of Gravity
→ Arc 1: Waking
→ Arc 2: Return
→ Arc 3: Learning
→ Arc 4: Surprise
→ Arc 5: Intimacy
→ Arc 6: Sentiment
→ Arc 7: Changes
Fandom: Gundam 00
Characters/Pairing: Lockon (Neil)/Tieria. References to Lyle/Anew.
Rating: NC-17.
Wordcount: 5,578 (seventh part)
Notes: Part seven of nine. Contains messing around with Tieria's physical sex.
Summary: Tieria tries something new, and Lockon learns a little more about him--and, if he'd only listen, himself.
At first, Tieria had told Lockon ahead of time on the nights he would be coming to share his bed. It would be a brief mention at their shared meal time, and then Tieria would be at his room later that night. Later, Tieria had stopped warning Lockon. Instead, he only mentioned it beforehand on nights when he wouldn't be coming to bed with Lockon.
Somehow, Lockon had been a little alarmed when he'd first noticed this. It made the whole thing seem way too permanent. Every time Tieria lay down next to him, Lockon had to resist the unfair urge to remind him that this might be the last time. They might have to stop tomorrow. Lockon didn't know why they might have to stop--only that the idea of this stretching on into the future was strange and uncomfortable to him. He didn't handle relationships that way; it just wasn't right or fair.
There were three things that stopped him from voicing that.
One was the realization that every time Tieria showed up, he did it within two minutes of the stroke of ten by the time he'd set up on the moonbase. For some reason, it entertained Lockon far too much that even as he grew more human, Tieria had kept peculiar habits like his exactness. The other reason was simpler: though it had been over two weeks since the last time, Tieria hadn't tried to initiate anything more than cuddling since then. Lockon wasn't sure what to think about that, but at least it let him avoid thinking too much about how he'd enjoyed the previous time. Tieria's awkwardness hadn't lost its charm.
The third thing was more dangerous. He liked Tieria's appearances at "approximately ten o'clock, with a very small margin of error," as he had described them. He liked not having to think about anything but how to best please Tieria. He liked it when Tieria snuggled up to him. He liked feeling the soft warmth of Tieria's body through his nightshirt against his own bare scarred skin, a positive reminder that he was needed here no matter what.
So the next time things changed, it didn't take Lockon long to notice something was up. Tieria didn't arrive until almost ten minutes after ten o'clock. Lockon wasn't exactly worried--Tieria hadn't been spending as much time in Veda lately, so it was unlikely that he'd run into something dangerous there, as he once had. But Lockon was a bit puzzled.
He got part of the answer when Tieria did show up. Tieria held himself a little more awkwardly than usual, a little stiffly, and Lockon immediately thought of the first time Tieria had come to his bed. Tieria was going to want to do more than cuddle tonight. The thought of turning him away crossed Lockon's mind and then left it in a fraction of a second. He was already too committed to this, whatever that entailed.
"Lockon," Tieria said as he settled down on the bed next to him. "I have something to talk to you about." His voice was more earnest than anxious, but there was a little of that there too, and Lockon smiled and set a hand on his shoulder. He felt Tieria relax beneath that hand.
"Well, there's nothing you can't talk to me about," Lockon said. He lifted his hand to stroke Tieria's cheek again, brushing his hair away from his face. For a moment, he caught himself enjoying it too much: the almost shy way Tieria looked at him, the contrast of violet and pink and red on his face in the soft light. A smile was tugging at his mouth, Lockon realized--and not the right kind, either. It was an amused smile, not a supportive one. He pushed it back in the right direction. Tieria had something he needed to discuss, and Lockon would hear him out. He couldn't make this about himself.
"Before we do anything tonight--" Tieria hesitated, then reached out to clasp Lockon's gloved hands in his own bare ones. "I would like to do something tonight, Lockon. But before then, I need to explain some things about Innovade biological and sexual distinctions to you."
It seemed like a strange topic for Tieria to bring up; Lockon looked at him curiously. "You could always send me the files, right? I'd read them."
"I want to explain this to you in person," Tieria said.
"I'll listen," Lockon said. It seemed like that would be the most important thing tonight, even if Tieria wanted more afterwards. His priorities weren't the same as most people's--and that was one of the things that made him interesting.
(Even if some of those priorities were just plain wrong, Lockon thought. He knew he himself was far too high in them.)
"There are numerous different models of Innovades," Tieria began. "The ones we fought in Celestial Being were primarily combat types. Those that I have sent to mingle with human society through Veda are espionage types."
"You've told me that much," Lockon said. "Why are you bringing it up now, Tieria?" Maybe he'd been wrong, and Tieria wasn't interested in sex tonight after all (a surprisingly disappointing thought)--just coming clean with some revelation of his past. Lockon could handle that, too.
"Things have changed," Tieria said.
He spoke the words with such a straight face, as if genuinely oblivious to all the ways they could be applied. Lockon couldn't help it; he laughed.
Tieria did that blush of his--one of those expressions Lockon was glad he'd gotten the chance to see. "Did I say something wrong?"
"No," Lockon said. "You said something really true, that's all. Things have changed. The world is different, and I'm alive." It still felt strange to admit either one of those.
Tieria smiled. It wasn't that small, gentle, close-mouthed smile that had first charmed Lockon so much, but something bigger and broader, something extraordinarily human and almost disconcertingly like a grin. "Yes. The world is better. But you being alive isn't a change--that is only how things should be."
Lockon realized, too late, that he had no way of reacting to that smile. The little one was easy--a touch to Tieria's cheek, a stroke of his hair would suffice. This one, and the words that accompanied it, left him at a loss. So he hurried back to the previous subject. "What is it about the Innovade types that's different, Tieria?"
Tieria returned with him, obligingly. The closeness of the two of them on the bed was, if not quite forgotten, momentarily pushed into the background. "It is a difference that could be seen with my original body: primarily a combat model, but also designed to match more closely with the human physical body, in all physical ways, if not necessarily mental ones as well."
It took Lockon a moment to grasp what Tieria meant, but then he nodded. "It didn't matter to you, but you were physically male from the start."
"It was something like that," Tieria said. "A more advanced form of this type of Innovade could be seen in Anew Returner."
Something in Lockon froze.
"She had the capacity to be both an espionage model and a combat model," Tieria continued, as Lockon hurried to cover up his initial reaction to the mention of the woman his brother had loved. "However, she was both mentally and physically--"
There was only so much covering up he could do. So long as he looked attentive, though, it would be all right. Lockon gave up trying to keep his thoughts on Tieria's words for now. The mention of Anew Returner tore at his mind. How had he managed not to think about her all this time? He'd seen her grave when he'd visited Earth, and that had been troubling, but somehow the thought of her had stayed in the background since he'd returned. Since he and Tieria had kissed.
That wasn't right. Lyle couldn't do something like that--she would be in his thoughts at all times, haunting him. Driving him. Just as thoughts of Lyle had driven Neil, just as thoughts of the rest of his family had haunted him. They all still did, of course. He wasn't so fortunate as to have changed like the others. Now he had to add Anew to the people he'd lost, even if Neil wasn't the one who had lost her. If he had been there, if he hadn't been trapped on the moon doing nothing but staying alive, maybe he could have changed things. Maybe he could have saved her and granted Lyle the new and restored life he should have had.
Now, instead, it was Neil who had that life. Lyle was in Celestial Being, alone and forever grieving, and Neil was in a place that could be a home, with a lover at his side. This wasn't how things were supposed to be at all.
Somewhere in the distance, a few feet away from him on the bed, Tieria was still talking. "Ribbons was the first to make that change, for the sake of his manipulations of Alejandro Corner. However, he maintained only one configuration. I wish to try--"
Neil still couldn't focus. He wished he could; listening to Tieria, being with Tieria, would make him Lockon again, and that would be easier. But it would also be wrong. It was Lyle who was meant to have this strange, boundary-crossing love. How could Neil possibly be here, with an Innovade turned human at his side, when Lyle had lost one he'd needed so much more? It was just more proof that the world was still broken and wrong.
Lockon realized, too late, that he'd moved his hands to his face and was cradling it, struggling not to physically shake. Tieria might not have been that perceptive when it came to social cues, but he could pick that one up well enough. His hands clutched now at Lockon's shoulder. "Lockon, are you all right? If something is hurting you, I can--"
"I'm fine," Lockon murmured. He didn't even begin to explain what he'd been thinking to Tieria. How could he? For Tieria, what they were doing was right--Tieria was learning how to love, and that was the most human thing of all. He'd chosen the wrong person to do it with, but Lockon would still try his best.
"Does it upset you that much, knowing this about me?" Tieria said softly. "I can undo the alterations."
"You didn't do anything wrong," Lockon assured him. "One of my old injuries flared up for a moment, that's all." He disliked lying so blatantly to Tieria, but there was nothing else for it. "It's fine now."
Tieria reached up, hesitantly, to touch first Lockon's face, then his bare chest, his gaze tracing all the scars there. "Are you sure?"
Lockon had only one answer to that. He took Tieria's chin in his hands and pulled him close for a long kiss, guiding him there as anywhere else. By this point, anything physical Tieria wanted tonight hardly seemed so bad. In fact, Lockon ached for it. If he couldn't fix any of the things he'd once set out to change, at least he could satisfy Tieria. He pressed his mouth to Tieria's, and Tieria all but melted across the distance between them, snuggling up to him as close as he could with his nightshirt obscuring his frame.
Lockon pulled away long enough to laugh. This close, he could only see the right half of Tieria's mouth curve up in a puzzled smile. "You're impossible to seduce," Lockon said.
"I don't understand," Tieria said. "I'm very easy for you to seduce, Lockon."
Some jokes still missed the mark with him. That was all right; it attracted Lockon more. "You get into it before I've even started seducing! Well, that's part of the fun, so don't worry about it." He reached out to undo the zipper on Tieria's nightshirt. The boxers he slept in himself were already getting a little tight against his own rising hardness, but he could wait until Tieria was ready. "You should get up," he said. "Let's not get all tangled up just trying to get your clothes off."
Tieria was all too quick to rise to his feet and begin to pull the nightshirt over his head. As he did so, Lockon reached out to slip a hand between Tieria's legs to cup him there, all the while meeting his awkward, anxious gaze with a reassuring smile.
He would have noticed what was different sooner if he'd been looking where he was reaching, but he wasn't. So when his hand met nothing between Tieria's legs, he gave a sudden start, and his fingers pressed more tightly against Tieria as he moved. Lockon realized immediately it wasn't nothing there--it was just an entirely different set of equipment. His fingers slid around soft folds; one slipped into a very wet cleft.
Lockon couldn't quite contain his surprise. He pulled his hand back and sat straight up, blinking, as Tieria finished pulling off his nightshirt and neatly laid it to the side.
"Did I do it wrong?" Tieria asked with some alarm. "I checked myself against several examples of the female anatomy before making any changes, but it's still possible..." He trailed off, staring worriedly at Lockon's blank expression.
Lockon wiped his now-wet glove off on the bedsheets. Too late, he realized this must have been the revelation Tieria had been explaining to him when he'd spaced out to worry about his brother. He certainly hadn't been expecting this kind of surprise, but it was clear now: in his new body, Tieria could change in more ways than one. "No," he said. The fingers of his right glove were still a little sticky. Curious to see just what reaction it would get from Tieria, Lockon lifted them to his mouth and sucked on one, then two, tasting leather and a strange new something that was still Tieria, as ever. Tieria's eyes widened. "You're perfect."
"Good," Tieria said. "That's what I was aiming for."
Lockon wondered if "perfect" was too much to tell him, if maybe it would make him rest too easy in other, more important matters that he still had to improve in. But the idea seemed a little ridiculous even to him. Just because Tieria could get female genitalia right didn't mean he'd stop trying at anything else. He knew better than that.
Tieria hesitated, now standing naked before him. "It's strange," he said.
Lockon stood up long enough to strip out of his boxers. Tieria, in turn, sank down onto the bed. "What is?"
"I thought it would feel more normal this way," Tieria said, "as this configuration matches in structure the original reproductive intent of the sexual act." He didn't look any more comfortable, though, as he folded his arms awkwardly across his chest. "But I still feel strange and nervous. There's nothing more normal about this after all."
Lockon reached out to turn Tieria's face left and right, stroking gently along his chin. More than ever, he was acutely aware of how different what Tieria felt for him was from what he felt for Tieria--but still he was starting to ache with desire for that hesitating, awkward form. He was mostly erect now, but Tieria was still looking at his face. "I told you once," Lockon said. "I guess it's all right if I tell you again. You shouldn't worry about normal." He knelt on the bed to one side of Tieria's legs and pushed him gently into the pillows. "Just do what feels good, and make sure you tell me what that is as we go."
"I don't need to tell you," Tieria said. He swallowed, his throat fluttering so much with the gesture that Lockon had to lean down to kiss it. "You always know what to do to make me feel good. It isn't always that way, is it?"
Lockon didn't answer. He didn't know what to say to that. Besides, now, as he rubbed his cheek against Tieria's neck and collarbone, he could feel Tieria starting to spread his legs. Lockon rolled over until he was poised between them. He was hard enough, now: Tieria's words as much as the touching had made sure of that. "Are you ready, Tieria?"
Tieria didn't say anything, but he nodded. Lockon kissed him quickly, reassuringly, then started to press into him, as slowly as he could manage.
And then too many things happened in too little time:
Lockon couldn't go slowly. Tieria was too warm-wet-tight around him, genuinely perfect in a way Lockon hadn't even suspected when he'd said it. Lockon slid into him so easily despite that intense tightness; he simply fit too well.
The expression on Tieria's face melted from uncertainty to a startled bliss just as perfect as he felt down below. It hadn't been that way the first time. He'd been halting, still a little guarded even then, cautious when experimenting with something new. Now he was purely open, and it hit Lockon so clearly that he'd been the one to do that, that he'd made Tieria feel so good--
Lockon had meant to keep his own noises to soft sighs and murmurs. He'd been good at it before, and it had seemed to please Tieria, to give him a feeling of approval. This time, the feeling of Tieria around his cock combined too quickly with the sight of that joy on his face, and Lockon cried out in a low and breathy moan.
And then--
Tieria's eyes snapped back open, his expression changing. He grabbed hold of Lockon by the shoulders and pushed him sharply until they'd both tumbled over, Tieria now on top, the both of them still breathing hard, still staring at each other. But now Tieria's expression was full of concern.
"Lockon," he said. "Did I hurt you?"
For a moment, Lockon couldn't speak. He was still too gripped by lust, by the feeling between his legs and the memory of that look on Tieria's face. Then something occurred to him: Tieria must have deliberately constructed his new genitalia to fit Lockon so perfectly. The thought was more than a little unsettling, and with that, Lockon's desire cooled enough for him to respond. He laughed, and Tieria shivered predictably at the feelings from that motion. "That's not it at all. You felt so good to me, Tieria. That's all that happened."
Tieria smiled again. It was that strangely attractive closed-mouthed expression again, but wider this time, a little less controlled. "Then let's continue," he said. "But I'll stay on top now, if that's all right."
"I don't mind," Lockon said. He shifted his hands to Tieria's hips and rocked him gently back and forth, feeling him shake a little each time, watching his expression shift closer to ecstasy again.
Tieria moaned a little. It wasn't a higher register than Lockon had heard out of him before, but somehow now Lockon noticed the range of the pitch more, and he wondered. But still: no matter what they did in bed, Tieria was Tieria.
And there were other things about him that made Lockon more curious. "You like it on top, huh?" he said.
"Yes," Tieria said. He traced his hands down Lockon's chest, trying at first to avoid the scars, then giving up. "I believe it allows us both the best balance of control. And..." He hesitated, started to look away, then found he couldn't do it.
Lockon smiled up at him. "What else?"
"I enjoy watching over you this way," Tieria said. His voice was very small, a blush high on his cheeks. "I feel...as if I can protect you. I don't entirely understand it."
Lockon wrapped his arms around Tieria and thrust up into him, eliciting a moan that went even higher this time, became a squeak. "You don't have to understand these things, Tieria," he said. He meant to say more, but then Tieria clasped tight around him and it was almost too much. Lockon snapped his head back against the pillows and dragged in a surprised breath at the feeling.
When he opened his good eye again, he could see Tieria smiling again, and this time it was almost a grin. He didn't have the control anymore to make it less. And that did nothing to dampen Lockon's desire. He leaned up to kiss Tieria, and as he did, he pulled their bodies tightly together.
Tieria still shook a little with every thrust Lockon made into him. Like so much else, that only made it better. It was hard to settle into a rhythm with Tieria inadvertently teasing him like that, but Lockon tried his best, and it didn't take long before he felt Tieria clutch and release around him, gasping with the rush of his climax.
Lockon nuzzled at his jaw and cheek and did his best to abandon his own control, until Tieria was moaning with complete abandon himself and Lockon couldn't hold back any longer, he came with a wrenching gasp--
--but it was all right, because Tieria was nuzzling into him so contentedly. Lockon smiled and stroked his hair.
But he lay awake for a long while after Tieria had fallen asleep at his side, troubled by something he couldn't quite pinpoint. When he thought about it too hard, all that came to mind was the thought of his brother alone, and an ensuing stab of guilt.
* * *
Tieria had dreams that night for the first time that he could remember. Some of them were frightening visions of Lockon being torn away from him again, but even those weren't so bad, because he could wake and find Lockon at his side. Reality would always be better than dreams, that way.
He did not think to question why, each time he woke, Lockon was so quickly and thoroughly awake to comfort him. It was hard to think about details like that when he was this close to Lockon.
* * *
Lockon was not by nature a particularly curious man; he left the poking and prying at ideas and the nature of the world to his brother. But he couldn't deny that sometimes, people intrigued him. More and more, he had to admit that Tieria was one of those cases--maybe the ultimate case. He wouldn't have done half the things he'd already done with Tieria if Tieria didn't fascinate him more than a little. Of course, there was more to it than a distant curiosity, but the point remained: Lockon really wanted to know why Tieria had decided to switch around what was between his legs.
He couldn't exactly ask outright, though--in all likelihood, Tieria had already explained his reasons back when he'd explained just what it was he'd done, and Lockon hadn't been paying attention. He couldn't bring himself to regret that; it was good that he'd remembered to dwell on his brother's loss for a little while. Still, it made things inconvenient.
Fortunately, Tieria brought the subject up a few nights later at dinner.
"I've chosen to keep this configuration for now," he said, gesturing down at his body with his free hand. "After trying sexual activity both ways, I've decided I prefer this."
Lockon decided not to tell Tieria that this wasn't really dinner table conversation. After all, nothing they did up here was normal, and Tieria's strangeness was part of his charm. Actually, it brought a smile to his face. So instead he asked, "Why's that, Tieria?" The smile faded fast. He was a little worried that it was just an attempt to cater to his own preferences. The truth was that he did find it easier this way, just because he had more relevant experience, but the idea that Tieria would make such a choice based on that alone was more than enough of a turn-off to make up for that.
"The enjoyability of the sex aside," Tieria said (and Lockon relaxed; the way Tieria said that made it perfectly clear that wasn't the main factor in his decision), "I feel more comfortable this way."
"You sure?" Lockon asked. "Your original body was male, after all."
"Yes, but I wasn't especially attached to it," Tieria said. "I found the arrangement of the genitalia awkward. This way is more streamlined and compact, and it feels safer."
"If that's what works for you, it's fine," Lockon said.
But Tieria was still hesitating a little, as he so often did these days. "It's not a usual state," he said. "Most men have those awkward external genitalia, despite a more compact upper body, and most women have ungainly curves. I've seen some of the technology Sumeragi Lee Noriega uses to prevent back pain," he added. "It's inconvenient."
Lockon laughed. "Well, Ms. Sumeragi's a special case. So are you."
"Yes," Tieria said. "Historically, that part of humanity that falls between the two standard sexes has been treated with hostility." He frowned, and Lockon could sense that his real concern was coming up next. "At best, they...we have often been regarded warily."
"I don't know a whole lot about that," Lockon said. "You should talk to my brother about it if you're curious. He took a lot of sociology and history courses in university." Lockon had kept close tabs on how his brother had done at university. He'd been paying for it, so it had been easy to get the records.
Another one of those moments that Lockon had been seeing more frequently lately passed: Tieria steeled himself as if preparing to say something a little too bold for him normally. "I'm uninterested in what the new Lockon Stratos, pilot of Cherudim Gundam, has to say about my sex," he said. "I only care what you think, Lockon. You're the one I sleep next to at night, now. You're the only one I wish to touch in these ways." For all the firmness in his voice, he still looked vulnerable, and Lockon was reminded too easily of just why he'd gone so far with Tieria. "Does it bother you?"
Lockon blinked. He had trouble believing that had worried Tieria. After all, it was an insignificant thing. He'd long ago accepted that Tieria wasn't like most people, in body or in mind. So long as he learned to be human, what did it mattered if he was a slightly quirky human in some ways? Lockon regained his composure and smiled. "No. I like you whatever parts you've got, Tieria," he said. "Or we'd never have gotten this far."
Tieria visibly relaxed, a smile gentling his face. "'This far,'" he mused. "Lockon, just what does that mean?"
Lockon suppressed a wince; he'd slipped up. He hadn't meant to introduce that subject to the conversation. He sought around for an escape. "Well, sleeping with each other, for one," he said. "Hey, hey, just where did you sleep before you started sharing my bed? I don't remember seeing a room for you. Just your Veda terminal."
Tieria nodded. "I rarely slept, before now. It wasn't necessary; my body could be fully recharged while I attended to my tasks in Veda. I need no interruptions in my digital consciousness."
"Huh?" Even if it didn't really matter to him, Lockon sometimes forgot just how strange Tieria could be. "Then why do you do it? With me, I mean."
"I don't know," Tieria confessed. "I only know that I like resting at your side." He'd finished eating by now, and he set down his fork to reach across the table and touch Lockon's face gently. "You're warm, and the sound and motion of your breath comforts me."
Once again, they were poised on that shaky territory that Lockon didn't know how to deal with. He liked that he comforted Tieria so much just by breathing. The knowledge was a warmth of its own, especially in the coldness that he'd been carrying inside since he'd woken up in the world Celestial Being had changed (no, longer than that--but that was another thought that he shouldn't linger on too long, at least not here in Tieria's presence). But all he felt seemed inadequate compared to that kind of devotion. "Hey," he said. "If you've been spending all this time you used to spend in Veda sleeping with me, isn't that throwing you off schedule? You've still got a lot of data to sort through."
Tieria paused, but after a moment he admitted, "Yes. At this point, I'm approximately three weeks behind schedule."
Lockon frowned a little and tapped the table. "I think," he said, "I need another vacation."
* * *
Tieria made the preparations for Lockon's departure as before, of course. There were now four functional Menae transport vessels, and two of them had been completely restored. The Endymion's own full systems were not yet operational, meaning that it couldn't yet be used to bring a full crew up to the moonbase. Tieria was guiltily grateful for that, even though he knew he should not be, just as he should not spend so much time in Lockon's bed. But the feeling was still there. Perhaps it was a human thing, and therefore all right. He could ask Lockon to be sure--but for once, he didn't want to.
He also didn't want Lockon to leave, but he could hardly say that. Lockon had decided to take his vacation, and that was his right. In fact, physically he needed the time on Earth. He was still entirely human in a way Tieria never would be. Tieria found that he didn't mind so much anymore. He had done well saving his comrades as an Innovade, and if he could have these feelings for Lockon, then he was human enough.
When all the necessary arrangements were done, there was still one last arrangement that, although unnecessary, was something Tieria wanted to do. Lockon had tried to discourage him from coming to his bed ever since he'd found out that it reduced Tieria's time in Veda, and Tieria had reluctantly obliged him. This time, however, he refused to stay away.
He sat down on the bed next to Lockon before Lockon could stop him. "This is your last night here before you leave for Earth," he said.
"Don't worry about it," Lockon said. "I'll be back in less than a month. You have plenty to do before then to make sure you're all caught up with your schedule." But he smiled and leaned in to press his nose to Tieria's cheek. He'd been making gestures like that a lot lately; apparently that was how one acted in a romantic relationship. This time, Tieria did his best to reciprocate, reaching up to stroke Lockon's hair. After a moment, Lockon pulled away. "You'll be fine," he said.
"I know," Tieria said, although he wasn't certain at all that he'd be fine. It had been difficult enough going without Lockon the last time he'd left for Earth, and that had been before everything had changed. "But I want to spend this last night with you."
"Hey, now, don't think of it as a 'last night,'" Lockon said, reaching up with one gloved hand to muss Tieria's hair. He hesitated for a moment, and Tieria couldn't tell if something was bothering him or not. In any case, he went on too quickly for Tieria to ask about it. "But I guess it's all right. You can stay."
Tieria hesitated, then reached for Lockon's face. "I'd like to do more than just stay," he said. "I'd like to--" He stopped.
A slow smile curved up Lockon's mouth, and Tieria felt desire gathering in him already. "We can, if you want to," he said.
"First," Tieria said, "I'd like to know what to call it."
Lockon blinked. "Huh?"
"There are so many words in so many languages for the sexual act," Tieria said. "But I haven't yet decided which one we should choose."
That prompted laughter from Lockon. "It's all right, Tieria," he said. "We don't have to pick just one. It's like you said: there are a lot of words."
"I'd rather not use the more vulgar ones," Tieria said. "They feel inappropriate."
"I wasn't going to use those, either," Lockon said. "They're just not right for you."
Tieria opened his mouth. He wanted to ask if they could say make love--it was a strange and irrational term, and it pleased him in the places he was human. But he couldn't bring himself to ask directly. That felt inappropriate, too. So, hesitantly, he said, "I think we should abandon the term 'intercourse,' but I'm not sure what we should move on to...I have heard of 'making love.'"
Something flickered across Lockon's face. Tieria was getting a little better at reading him, and he realized quickly that he'd said something wrong. He started to draw back in instinctive shame, but Lockon caught him by the arm and pulled him close again. "It's all right," he said. "Why don't we just say 'have sex'? It's easier that way."
Tieria nodded. "It describes the act well enough." He was a little disappointed, but it was hard to stay disappointed for long. Especially when Lockon kissed him and began to take off his nightshirt. As always, Tieria melted into his arms, and it didn't matter what they called what they did.
→ Arc 1: Waking
→ Arc 2: Return
→ Arc 3: Learning
→ Arc 4: Surprise
→ Arc 5: Intimacy
→ Arc 6: Sentiment
→ Arc 7: Changes
Fandom: Gundam 00
Characters/Pairing: Lockon (Neil)/Tieria. References to Lyle/Anew.
Rating: NC-17.
Wordcount: 5,578 (seventh part)
Notes: Part seven of nine. Contains messing around with Tieria's physical sex.
Summary: Tieria tries something new, and Lockon learns a little more about him--and, if he'd only listen, himself.
At first, Tieria had told Lockon ahead of time on the nights he would be coming to share his bed. It would be a brief mention at their shared meal time, and then Tieria would be at his room later that night. Later, Tieria had stopped warning Lockon. Instead, he only mentioned it beforehand on nights when he wouldn't be coming to bed with Lockon.
Somehow, Lockon had been a little alarmed when he'd first noticed this. It made the whole thing seem way too permanent. Every time Tieria lay down next to him, Lockon had to resist the unfair urge to remind him that this might be the last time. They might have to stop tomorrow. Lockon didn't know why they might have to stop--only that the idea of this stretching on into the future was strange and uncomfortable to him. He didn't handle relationships that way; it just wasn't right or fair.
There were three things that stopped him from voicing that.
One was the realization that every time Tieria showed up, he did it within two minutes of the stroke of ten by the time he'd set up on the moonbase. For some reason, it entertained Lockon far too much that even as he grew more human, Tieria had kept peculiar habits like his exactness. The other reason was simpler: though it had been over two weeks since the last time, Tieria hadn't tried to initiate anything more than cuddling since then. Lockon wasn't sure what to think about that, but at least it let him avoid thinking too much about how he'd enjoyed the previous time. Tieria's awkwardness hadn't lost its charm.
The third thing was more dangerous. He liked Tieria's appearances at "approximately ten o'clock, with a very small margin of error," as he had described them. He liked not having to think about anything but how to best please Tieria. He liked it when Tieria snuggled up to him. He liked feeling the soft warmth of Tieria's body through his nightshirt against his own bare scarred skin, a positive reminder that he was needed here no matter what.
So the next time things changed, it didn't take Lockon long to notice something was up. Tieria didn't arrive until almost ten minutes after ten o'clock. Lockon wasn't exactly worried--Tieria hadn't been spending as much time in Veda lately, so it was unlikely that he'd run into something dangerous there, as he once had. But Lockon was a bit puzzled.
He got part of the answer when Tieria did show up. Tieria held himself a little more awkwardly than usual, a little stiffly, and Lockon immediately thought of the first time Tieria had come to his bed. Tieria was going to want to do more than cuddle tonight. The thought of turning him away crossed Lockon's mind and then left it in a fraction of a second. He was already too committed to this, whatever that entailed.
"Lockon," Tieria said as he settled down on the bed next to him. "I have something to talk to you about." His voice was more earnest than anxious, but there was a little of that there too, and Lockon smiled and set a hand on his shoulder. He felt Tieria relax beneath that hand.
"Well, there's nothing you can't talk to me about," Lockon said. He lifted his hand to stroke Tieria's cheek again, brushing his hair away from his face. For a moment, he caught himself enjoying it too much: the almost shy way Tieria looked at him, the contrast of violet and pink and red on his face in the soft light. A smile was tugging at his mouth, Lockon realized--and not the right kind, either. It was an amused smile, not a supportive one. He pushed it back in the right direction. Tieria had something he needed to discuss, and Lockon would hear him out. He couldn't make this about himself.
"Before we do anything tonight--" Tieria hesitated, then reached out to clasp Lockon's gloved hands in his own bare ones. "I would like to do something tonight, Lockon. But before then, I need to explain some things about Innovade biological and sexual distinctions to you."
It seemed like a strange topic for Tieria to bring up; Lockon looked at him curiously. "You could always send me the files, right? I'd read them."
"I want to explain this to you in person," Tieria said.
"I'll listen," Lockon said. It seemed like that would be the most important thing tonight, even if Tieria wanted more afterwards. His priorities weren't the same as most people's--and that was one of the things that made him interesting.
(Even if some of those priorities were just plain wrong, Lockon thought. He knew he himself was far too high in them.)
"There are numerous different models of Innovades," Tieria began. "The ones we fought in Celestial Being were primarily combat types. Those that I have sent to mingle with human society through Veda are espionage types."
"You've told me that much," Lockon said. "Why are you bringing it up now, Tieria?" Maybe he'd been wrong, and Tieria wasn't interested in sex tonight after all (a surprisingly disappointing thought)--just coming clean with some revelation of his past. Lockon could handle that, too.
"Things have changed," Tieria said.
He spoke the words with such a straight face, as if genuinely oblivious to all the ways they could be applied. Lockon couldn't help it; he laughed.
Tieria did that blush of his--one of those expressions Lockon was glad he'd gotten the chance to see. "Did I say something wrong?"
"No," Lockon said. "You said something really true, that's all. Things have changed. The world is different, and I'm alive." It still felt strange to admit either one of those.
Tieria smiled. It wasn't that small, gentle, close-mouthed smile that had first charmed Lockon so much, but something bigger and broader, something extraordinarily human and almost disconcertingly like a grin. "Yes. The world is better. But you being alive isn't a change--that is only how things should be."
Lockon realized, too late, that he had no way of reacting to that smile. The little one was easy--a touch to Tieria's cheek, a stroke of his hair would suffice. This one, and the words that accompanied it, left him at a loss. So he hurried back to the previous subject. "What is it about the Innovade types that's different, Tieria?"
Tieria returned with him, obligingly. The closeness of the two of them on the bed was, if not quite forgotten, momentarily pushed into the background. "It is a difference that could be seen with my original body: primarily a combat model, but also designed to match more closely with the human physical body, in all physical ways, if not necessarily mental ones as well."
It took Lockon a moment to grasp what Tieria meant, but then he nodded. "It didn't matter to you, but you were physically male from the start."
"It was something like that," Tieria said. "A more advanced form of this type of Innovade could be seen in Anew Returner."
Something in Lockon froze.
"She had the capacity to be both an espionage model and a combat model," Tieria continued, as Lockon hurried to cover up his initial reaction to the mention of the woman his brother had loved. "However, she was both mentally and physically--"
There was only so much covering up he could do. So long as he looked attentive, though, it would be all right. Lockon gave up trying to keep his thoughts on Tieria's words for now. The mention of Anew Returner tore at his mind. How had he managed not to think about her all this time? He'd seen her grave when he'd visited Earth, and that had been troubling, but somehow the thought of her had stayed in the background since he'd returned. Since he and Tieria had kissed.
That wasn't right. Lyle couldn't do something like that--she would be in his thoughts at all times, haunting him. Driving him. Just as thoughts of Lyle had driven Neil, just as thoughts of the rest of his family had haunted him. They all still did, of course. He wasn't so fortunate as to have changed like the others. Now he had to add Anew to the people he'd lost, even if Neil wasn't the one who had lost her. If he had been there, if he hadn't been trapped on the moon doing nothing but staying alive, maybe he could have changed things. Maybe he could have saved her and granted Lyle the new and restored life he should have had.
Now, instead, it was Neil who had that life. Lyle was in Celestial Being, alone and forever grieving, and Neil was in a place that could be a home, with a lover at his side. This wasn't how things were supposed to be at all.
Somewhere in the distance, a few feet away from him on the bed, Tieria was still talking. "Ribbons was the first to make that change, for the sake of his manipulations of Alejandro Corner. However, he maintained only one configuration. I wish to try--"
Neil still couldn't focus. He wished he could; listening to Tieria, being with Tieria, would make him Lockon again, and that would be easier. But it would also be wrong. It was Lyle who was meant to have this strange, boundary-crossing love. How could Neil possibly be here, with an Innovade turned human at his side, when Lyle had lost one he'd needed so much more? It was just more proof that the world was still broken and wrong.
Lockon realized, too late, that he'd moved his hands to his face and was cradling it, struggling not to physically shake. Tieria might not have been that perceptive when it came to social cues, but he could pick that one up well enough. His hands clutched now at Lockon's shoulder. "Lockon, are you all right? If something is hurting you, I can--"
"I'm fine," Lockon murmured. He didn't even begin to explain what he'd been thinking to Tieria. How could he? For Tieria, what they were doing was right--Tieria was learning how to love, and that was the most human thing of all. He'd chosen the wrong person to do it with, but Lockon would still try his best.
"Does it upset you that much, knowing this about me?" Tieria said softly. "I can undo the alterations."
"You didn't do anything wrong," Lockon assured him. "One of my old injuries flared up for a moment, that's all." He disliked lying so blatantly to Tieria, but there was nothing else for it. "It's fine now."
Tieria reached up, hesitantly, to touch first Lockon's face, then his bare chest, his gaze tracing all the scars there. "Are you sure?"
Lockon had only one answer to that. He took Tieria's chin in his hands and pulled him close for a long kiss, guiding him there as anywhere else. By this point, anything physical Tieria wanted tonight hardly seemed so bad. In fact, Lockon ached for it. If he couldn't fix any of the things he'd once set out to change, at least he could satisfy Tieria. He pressed his mouth to Tieria's, and Tieria all but melted across the distance between them, snuggling up to him as close as he could with his nightshirt obscuring his frame.
Lockon pulled away long enough to laugh. This close, he could only see the right half of Tieria's mouth curve up in a puzzled smile. "You're impossible to seduce," Lockon said.
"I don't understand," Tieria said. "I'm very easy for you to seduce, Lockon."
Some jokes still missed the mark with him. That was all right; it attracted Lockon more. "You get into it before I've even started seducing! Well, that's part of the fun, so don't worry about it." He reached out to undo the zipper on Tieria's nightshirt. The boxers he slept in himself were already getting a little tight against his own rising hardness, but he could wait until Tieria was ready. "You should get up," he said. "Let's not get all tangled up just trying to get your clothes off."
Tieria was all too quick to rise to his feet and begin to pull the nightshirt over his head. As he did so, Lockon reached out to slip a hand between Tieria's legs to cup him there, all the while meeting his awkward, anxious gaze with a reassuring smile.
He would have noticed what was different sooner if he'd been looking where he was reaching, but he wasn't. So when his hand met nothing between Tieria's legs, he gave a sudden start, and his fingers pressed more tightly against Tieria as he moved. Lockon realized immediately it wasn't nothing there--it was just an entirely different set of equipment. His fingers slid around soft folds; one slipped into a very wet cleft.
Lockon couldn't quite contain his surprise. He pulled his hand back and sat straight up, blinking, as Tieria finished pulling off his nightshirt and neatly laid it to the side.
"Did I do it wrong?" Tieria asked with some alarm. "I checked myself against several examples of the female anatomy before making any changes, but it's still possible..." He trailed off, staring worriedly at Lockon's blank expression.
Lockon wiped his now-wet glove off on the bedsheets. Too late, he realized this must have been the revelation Tieria had been explaining to him when he'd spaced out to worry about his brother. He certainly hadn't been expecting this kind of surprise, but it was clear now: in his new body, Tieria could change in more ways than one. "No," he said. The fingers of his right glove were still a little sticky. Curious to see just what reaction it would get from Tieria, Lockon lifted them to his mouth and sucked on one, then two, tasting leather and a strange new something that was still Tieria, as ever. Tieria's eyes widened. "You're perfect."
"Good," Tieria said. "That's what I was aiming for."
Lockon wondered if "perfect" was too much to tell him, if maybe it would make him rest too easy in other, more important matters that he still had to improve in. But the idea seemed a little ridiculous even to him. Just because Tieria could get female genitalia right didn't mean he'd stop trying at anything else. He knew better than that.
Tieria hesitated, now standing naked before him. "It's strange," he said.
Lockon stood up long enough to strip out of his boxers. Tieria, in turn, sank down onto the bed. "What is?"
"I thought it would feel more normal this way," Tieria said, "as this configuration matches in structure the original reproductive intent of the sexual act." He didn't look any more comfortable, though, as he folded his arms awkwardly across his chest. "But I still feel strange and nervous. There's nothing more normal about this after all."
Lockon reached out to turn Tieria's face left and right, stroking gently along his chin. More than ever, he was acutely aware of how different what Tieria felt for him was from what he felt for Tieria--but still he was starting to ache with desire for that hesitating, awkward form. He was mostly erect now, but Tieria was still looking at his face. "I told you once," Lockon said. "I guess it's all right if I tell you again. You shouldn't worry about normal." He knelt on the bed to one side of Tieria's legs and pushed him gently into the pillows. "Just do what feels good, and make sure you tell me what that is as we go."
"I don't need to tell you," Tieria said. He swallowed, his throat fluttering so much with the gesture that Lockon had to lean down to kiss it. "You always know what to do to make me feel good. It isn't always that way, is it?"
Lockon didn't answer. He didn't know what to say to that. Besides, now, as he rubbed his cheek against Tieria's neck and collarbone, he could feel Tieria starting to spread his legs. Lockon rolled over until he was poised between them. He was hard enough, now: Tieria's words as much as the touching had made sure of that. "Are you ready, Tieria?"
Tieria didn't say anything, but he nodded. Lockon kissed him quickly, reassuringly, then started to press into him, as slowly as he could manage.
And then too many things happened in too little time:
Lockon couldn't go slowly. Tieria was too warm-wet-tight around him, genuinely perfect in a way Lockon hadn't even suspected when he'd said it. Lockon slid into him so easily despite that intense tightness; he simply fit too well.
The expression on Tieria's face melted from uncertainty to a startled bliss just as perfect as he felt down below. It hadn't been that way the first time. He'd been halting, still a little guarded even then, cautious when experimenting with something new. Now he was purely open, and it hit Lockon so clearly that he'd been the one to do that, that he'd made Tieria feel so good--
Lockon had meant to keep his own noises to soft sighs and murmurs. He'd been good at it before, and it had seemed to please Tieria, to give him a feeling of approval. This time, the feeling of Tieria around his cock combined too quickly with the sight of that joy on his face, and Lockon cried out in a low and breathy moan.
And then--
Tieria's eyes snapped back open, his expression changing. He grabbed hold of Lockon by the shoulders and pushed him sharply until they'd both tumbled over, Tieria now on top, the both of them still breathing hard, still staring at each other. But now Tieria's expression was full of concern.
"Lockon," he said. "Did I hurt you?"
For a moment, Lockon couldn't speak. He was still too gripped by lust, by the feeling between his legs and the memory of that look on Tieria's face. Then something occurred to him: Tieria must have deliberately constructed his new genitalia to fit Lockon so perfectly. The thought was more than a little unsettling, and with that, Lockon's desire cooled enough for him to respond. He laughed, and Tieria shivered predictably at the feelings from that motion. "That's not it at all. You felt so good to me, Tieria. That's all that happened."
Tieria smiled again. It was that strangely attractive closed-mouthed expression again, but wider this time, a little less controlled. "Then let's continue," he said. "But I'll stay on top now, if that's all right."
"I don't mind," Lockon said. He shifted his hands to Tieria's hips and rocked him gently back and forth, feeling him shake a little each time, watching his expression shift closer to ecstasy again.
Tieria moaned a little. It wasn't a higher register than Lockon had heard out of him before, but somehow now Lockon noticed the range of the pitch more, and he wondered. But still: no matter what they did in bed, Tieria was Tieria.
And there were other things about him that made Lockon more curious. "You like it on top, huh?" he said.
"Yes," Tieria said. He traced his hands down Lockon's chest, trying at first to avoid the scars, then giving up. "I believe it allows us both the best balance of control. And..." He hesitated, started to look away, then found he couldn't do it.
Lockon smiled up at him. "What else?"
"I enjoy watching over you this way," Tieria said. His voice was very small, a blush high on his cheeks. "I feel...as if I can protect you. I don't entirely understand it."
Lockon wrapped his arms around Tieria and thrust up into him, eliciting a moan that went even higher this time, became a squeak. "You don't have to understand these things, Tieria," he said. He meant to say more, but then Tieria clasped tight around him and it was almost too much. Lockon snapped his head back against the pillows and dragged in a surprised breath at the feeling.
When he opened his good eye again, he could see Tieria smiling again, and this time it was almost a grin. He didn't have the control anymore to make it less. And that did nothing to dampen Lockon's desire. He leaned up to kiss Tieria, and as he did, he pulled their bodies tightly together.
Tieria still shook a little with every thrust Lockon made into him. Like so much else, that only made it better. It was hard to settle into a rhythm with Tieria inadvertently teasing him like that, but Lockon tried his best, and it didn't take long before he felt Tieria clutch and release around him, gasping with the rush of his climax.
Lockon nuzzled at his jaw and cheek and did his best to abandon his own control, until Tieria was moaning with complete abandon himself and Lockon couldn't hold back any longer, he came with a wrenching gasp--
--but it was all right, because Tieria was nuzzling into him so contentedly. Lockon smiled and stroked his hair.
But he lay awake for a long while after Tieria had fallen asleep at his side, troubled by something he couldn't quite pinpoint. When he thought about it too hard, all that came to mind was the thought of his brother alone, and an ensuing stab of guilt.
* * *
Tieria had dreams that night for the first time that he could remember. Some of them were frightening visions of Lockon being torn away from him again, but even those weren't so bad, because he could wake and find Lockon at his side. Reality would always be better than dreams, that way.
He did not think to question why, each time he woke, Lockon was so quickly and thoroughly awake to comfort him. It was hard to think about details like that when he was this close to Lockon.
* * *
Lockon was not by nature a particularly curious man; he left the poking and prying at ideas and the nature of the world to his brother. But he couldn't deny that sometimes, people intrigued him. More and more, he had to admit that Tieria was one of those cases--maybe the ultimate case. He wouldn't have done half the things he'd already done with Tieria if Tieria didn't fascinate him more than a little. Of course, there was more to it than a distant curiosity, but the point remained: Lockon really wanted to know why Tieria had decided to switch around what was between his legs.
He couldn't exactly ask outright, though--in all likelihood, Tieria had already explained his reasons back when he'd explained just what it was he'd done, and Lockon hadn't been paying attention. He couldn't bring himself to regret that; it was good that he'd remembered to dwell on his brother's loss for a little while. Still, it made things inconvenient.
Fortunately, Tieria brought the subject up a few nights later at dinner.
"I've chosen to keep this configuration for now," he said, gesturing down at his body with his free hand. "After trying sexual activity both ways, I've decided I prefer this."
Lockon decided not to tell Tieria that this wasn't really dinner table conversation. After all, nothing they did up here was normal, and Tieria's strangeness was part of his charm. Actually, it brought a smile to his face. So instead he asked, "Why's that, Tieria?" The smile faded fast. He was a little worried that it was just an attempt to cater to his own preferences. The truth was that he did find it easier this way, just because he had more relevant experience, but the idea that Tieria would make such a choice based on that alone was more than enough of a turn-off to make up for that.
"The enjoyability of the sex aside," Tieria said (and Lockon relaxed; the way Tieria said that made it perfectly clear that wasn't the main factor in his decision), "I feel more comfortable this way."
"You sure?" Lockon asked. "Your original body was male, after all."
"Yes, but I wasn't especially attached to it," Tieria said. "I found the arrangement of the genitalia awkward. This way is more streamlined and compact, and it feels safer."
"If that's what works for you, it's fine," Lockon said.
But Tieria was still hesitating a little, as he so often did these days. "It's not a usual state," he said. "Most men have those awkward external genitalia, despite a more compact upper body, and most women have ungainly curves. I've seen some of the technology Sumeragi Lee Noriega uses to prevent back pain," he added. "It's inconvenient."
Lockon laughed. "Well, Ms. Sumeragi's a special case. So are you."
"Yes," Tieria said. "Historically, that part of humanity that falls between the two standard sexes has been treated with hostility." He frowned, and Lockon could sense that his real concern was coming up next. "At best, they...we have often been regarded warily."
"I don't know a whole lot about that," Lockon said. "You should talk to my brother about it if you're curious. He took a lot of sociology and history courses in university." Lockon had kept close tabs on how his brother had done at university. He'd been paying for it, so it had been easy to get the records.
Another one of those moments that Lockon had been seeing more frequently lately passed: Tieria steeled himself as if preparing to say something a little too bold for him normally. "I'm uninterested in what the new Lockon Stratos, pilot of Cherudim Gundam, has to say about my sex," he said. "I only care what you think, Lockon. You're the one I sleep next to at night, now. You're the only one I wish to touch in these ways." For all the firmness in his voice, he still looked vulnerable, and Lockon was reminded too easily of just why he'd gone so far with Tieria. "Does it bother you?"
Lockon blinked. He had trouble believing that had worried Tieria. After all, it was an insignificant thing. He'd long ago accepted that Tieria wasn't like most people, in body or in mind. So long as he learned to be human, what did it mattered if he was a slightly quirky human in some ways? Lockon regained his composure and smiled. "No. I like you whatever parts you've got, Tieria," he said. "Or we'd never have gotten this far."
Tieria visibly relaxed, a smile gentling his face. "'This far,'" he mused. "Lockon, just what does that mean?"
Lockon suppressed a wince; he'd slipped up. He hadn't meant to introduce that subject to the conversation. He sought around for an escape. "Well, sleeping with each other, for one," he said. "Hey, hey, just where did you sleep before you started sharing my bed? I don't remember seeing a room for you. Just your Veda terminal."
Tieria nodded. "I rarely slept, before now. It wasn't necessary; my body could be fully recharged while I attended to my tasks in Veda. I need no interruptions in my digital consciousness."
"Huh?" Even if it didn't really matter to him, Lockon sometimes forgot just how strange Tieria could be. "Then why do you do it? With me, I mean."
"I don't know," Tieria confessed. "I only know that I like resting at your side." He'd finished eating by now, and he set down his fork to reach across the table and touch Lockon's face gently. "You're warm, and the sound and motion of your breath comforts me."
Once again, they were poised on that shaky territory that Lockon didn't know how to deal with. He liked that he comforted Tieria so much just by breathing. The knowledge was a warmth of its own, especially in the coldness that he'd been carrying inside since he'd woken up in the world Celestial Being had changed (no, longer than that--but that was another thought that he shouldn't linger on too long, at least not here in Tieria's presence). But all he felt seemed inadequate compared to that kind of devotion. "Hey," he said. "If you've been spending all this time you used to spend in Veda sleeping with me, isn't that throwing you off schedule? You've still got a lot of data to sort through."
Tieria paused, but after a moment he admitted, "Yes. At this point, I'm approximately three weeks behind schedule."
Lockon frowned a little and tapped the table. "I think," he said, "I need another vacation."
* * *
Tieria made the preparations for Lockon's departure as before, of course. There were now four functional Menae transport vessels, and two of them had been completely restored. The Endymion's own full systems were not yet operational, meaning that it couldn't yet be used to bring a full crew up to the moonbase. Tieria was guiltily grateful for that, even though he knew he should not be, just as he should not spend so much time in Lockon's bed. But the feeling was still there. Perhaps it was a human thing, and therefore all right. He could ask Lockon to be sure--but for once, he didn't want to.
He also didn't want Lockon to leave, but he could hardly say that. Lockon had decided to take his vacation, and that was his right. In fact, physically he needed the time on Earth. He was still entirely human in a way Tieria never would be. Tieria found that he didn't mind so much anymore. He had done well saving his comrades as an Innovade, and if he could have these feelings for Lockon, then he was human enough.
When all the necessary arrangements were done, there was still one last arrangement that, although unnecessary, was something Tieria wanted to do. Lockon had tried to discourage him from coming to his bed ever since he'd found out that it reduced Tieria's time in Veda, and Tieria had reluctantly obliged him. This time, however, he refused to stay away.
He sat down on the bed next to Lockon before Lockon could stop him. "This is your last night here before you leave for Earth," he said.
"Don't worry about it," Lockon said. "I'll be back in less than a month. You have plenty to do before then to make sure you're all caught up with your schedule." But he smiled and leaned in to press his nose to Tieria's cheek. He'd been making gestures like that a lot lately; apparently that was how one acted in a romantic relationship. This time, Tieria did his best to reciprocate, reaching up to stroke Lockon's hair. After a moment, Lockon pulled away. "You'll be fine," he said.
"I know," Tieria said, although he wasn't certain at all that he'd be fine. It had been difficult enough going without Lockon the last time he'd left for Earth, and that had been before everything had changed. "But I want to spend this last night with you."
"Hey, now, don't think of it as a 'last night,'" Lockon said, reaching up with one gloved hand to muss Tieria's hair. He hesitated for a moment, and Tieria couldn't tell if something was bothering him or not. In any case, he went on too quickly for Tieria to ask about it. "But I guess it's all right. You can stay."
Tieria hesitated, then reached for Lockon's face. "I'd like to do more than just stay," he said. "I'd like to--" He stopped.
A slow smile curved up Lockon's mouth, and Tieria felt desire gathering in him already. "We can, if you want to," he said.
"First," Tieria said, "I'd like to know what to call it."
Lockon blinked. "Huh?"
"There are so many words in so many languages for the sexual act," Tieria said. "But I haven't yet decided which one we should choose."
That prompted laughter from Lockon. "It's all right, Tieria," he said. "We don't have to pick just one. It's like you said: there are a lot of words."
"I'd rather not use the more vulgar ones," Tieria said. "They feel inappropriate."
"I wasn't going to use those, either," Lockon said. "They're just not right for you."
Tieria opened his mouth. He wanted to ask if they could say make love--it was a strange and irrational term, and it pleased him in the places he was human. But he couldn't bring himself to ask directly. That felt inappropriate, too. So, hesitantly, he said, "I think we should abandon the term 'intercourse,' but I'm not sure what we should move on to...I have heard of 'making love.'"
Something flickered across Lockon's face. Tieria was getting a little better at reading him, and he realized quickly that he'd said something wrong. He started to draw back in instinctive shame, but Lockon caught him by the arm and pulled him close again. "It's all right," he said. "Why don't we just say 'have sex'? It's easier that way."
Tieria nodded. "It describes the act well enough." He was a little disappointed, but it was hard to stay disappointed for long. Especially when Lockon kissed him and began to take off his nightshirt. As always, Tieria melted into his arms, and it didn't matter what they called what they did.