[Gundam 00] In the Space Between Heartbeats
Title: In the Space Between Heartbeats
Fandom: Gundam 00
Characters/Pairing: Neil and Anew. Lyle/Anew implied.
Rating: G
Wordcount: 686
Notes: Written for the 31_days theme "still we are the past together."
Summary: After everything is over, when Anew lets go, someone else is waiting to catch her. They have a loved one in common.
Her hand had slipped out of Lyle's a heartbeat ago, but she didn't know that, because there were no more heartbeats. She was gone into the light, and all she knew was that she was glad he was alive even if she wasn't.
It came to Anew after a time that there was a hand reaching for hers. It wasn't Lyle's, but she took it anyway, because it was better than being alone in space and nothingness. "How?" she asked, as her fingers closed around someone else's. "It was over. I died."
A figure flickered in the light, then began to cohere. A familiar face came together before her, a face that was--
--not Lyle's. Anew didn't understand how anyone could mistake it for his. The eyes were different: the exact same color, yes, but lacking a certain vulnerability that had drawn her to Lyle. The smile was different. It was warmer than the controlled little smiles Lyle had given to the rest of Celestial Being and far more hollow than the real ones he'd given to her. How could anyone mistake the two of them for each other? This man who shared Lyle's face down to the last detail looked nothing like him.
"I don't know how we're here," Neil said. "I don't think I'm the guy to ask about it. But I think..." He hesitated, then smiled again. Anew didn't know what to make of that smile. Had no one else seen how empty it was? "I think we're here because other people are still thinking about us. They still need us, right?"
"No," Anew said. "They need each other." Now that he'd said it, though, she thought he might be onto something. Their conversation was disjointed. It happened in flashes between patches of nothingness, moments when their thoughts connected. Maybe that was when people thought of them. The patches of nothingness were short, though. Lyle must still have been thinking about her a lot, and someone, or several someones, must still have been thinking about Neil just as much.
He laughed a little. "You're right." Then, abruptly, he was serious, and for a fleeting instant Anew could see the resemblance to Lyle. They both had pain in their faces when they stopped trying so hard to hide it. "You were meant to be one of them. You were meant to stay with him. So that he could have a family again. So that he could be happy. If he had to be in Celestial Being, he at least should have gotten you out of it too."
"For a little while," Anew said, "he did. I'm so happy for that little while." She smiled at Neil, although she wasn't sure if he could see it. Sometimes she couldn't see him. Wherever they were was tricky like that. But she could still feel his hand holding onto hers.
"It was supposed to be more than that," Neil said. "I would have been all right with it, you know. If he'd run away with you. So long as he had a better world."
"He wouldn't have been," Anew said. "I know him." She lifted her head from where their hands linked to meet his eyes. "Better than you did."
"That's true," he whispered, "isn't it? I'm sorry, Anew. I'm being selfish. I know it now, but it's hard to stop."
"Neil..."
"What's up?" He spoke so casually--as if they weren't flickering spirits in the ether. Maybe it was a habit that death hadn't broken in him.
"We're done here," she said. "But I'm selfish, too. I want to stay. I want to watch over Lyle. Will you help me?"
"I'll try," he said. "I've been trying. But it's not as easy as I thought it'd be. He blocks me out."
"I'll show you," Anew said. "I'll show you how to get in. Will you listen to me, Neil?"
He smiled. This time, it was a strangely sad expression, but not at all hollow. It was real. "You're the one who understands him," he said. "Of course I'll listen."
Fandom: Gundam 00
Characters/Pairing: Neil and Anew. Lyle/Anew implied.
Rating: G
Wordcount: 686
Notes: Written for the 31_days theme "still we are the past together."
Summary: After everything is over, when Anew lets go, someone else is waiting to catch her. They have a loved one in common.
Her hand had slipped out of Lyle's a heartbeat ago, but she didn't know that, because there were no more heartbeats. She was gone into the light, and all she knew was that she was glad he was alive even if she wasn't.
It came to Anew after a time that there was a hand reaching for hers. It wasn't Lyle's, but she took it anyway, because it was better than being alone in space and nothingness. "How?" she asked, as her fingers closed around someone else's. "It was over. I died."
A figure flickered in the light, then began to cohere. A familiar face came together before her, a face that was--
--not Lyle's. Anew didn't understand how anyone could mistake it for his. The eyes were different: the exact same color, yes, but lacking a certain vulnerability that had drawn her to Lyle. The smile was different. It was warmer than the controlled little smiles Lyle had given to the rest of Celestial Being and far more hollow than the real ones he'd given to her. How could anyone mistake the two of them for each other? This man who shared Lyle's face down to the last detail looked nothing like him.
"I don't know how we're here," Neil said. "I don't think I'm the guy to ask about it. But I think..." He hesitated, then smiled again. Anew didn't know what to make of that smile. Had no one else seen how empty it was? "I think we're here because other people are still thinking about us. They still need us, right?"
"No," Anew said. "They need each other." Now that he'd said it, though, she thought he might be onto something. Their conversation was disjointed. It happened in flashes between patches of nothingness, moments when their thoughts connected. Maybe that was when people thought of them. The patches of nothingness were short, though. Lyle must still have been thinking about her a lot, and someone, or several someones, must still have been thinking about Neil just as much.
He laughed a little. "You're right." Then, abruptly, he was serious, and for a fleeting instant Anew could see the resemblance to Lyle. They both had pain in their faces when they stopped trying so hard to hide it. "You were meant to be one of them. You were meant to stay with him. So that he could have a family again. So that he could be happy. If he had to be in Celestial Being, he at least should have gotten you out of it too."
"For a little while," Anew said, "he did. I'm so happy for that little while." She smiled at Neil, although she wasn't sure if he could see it. Sometimes she couldn't see him. Wherever they were was tricky like that. But she could still feel his hand holding onto hers.
"It was supposed to be more than that," Neil said. "I would have been all right with it, you know. If he'd run away with you. So long as he had a better world."
"He wouldn't have been," Anew said. "I know him." She lifted her head from where their hands linked to meet his eyes. "Better than you did."
"That's true," he whispered, "isn't it? I'm sorry, Anew. I'm being selfish. I know it now, but it's hard to stop."
"Neil..."
"What's up?" He spoke so casually--as if they weren't flickering spirits in the ether. Maybe it was a habit that death hadn't broken in him.
"We're done here," she said. "But I'm selfish, too. I want to stay. I want to watch over Lyle. Will you help me?"
"I'll try," he said. "I've been trying. But it's not as easy as I thought it'd be. He blocks me out."
"I'll show you," Anew said. "I'll show you how to get in. Will you listen to me, Neil?"
He smiled. This time, it was a strangely sad expression, but not at all hollow. It was real. "You're the one who understands him," he said. "Of course I'll listen."