Let's not talk about sex, baby, let's not talk about you or me...
First of all, sorry I haven't been around more on LJ, but NaNoWriMo is eating my head. You'd think for someone like myself (who tends to fall more on the garrulous side of the spectrum) writing a mere 1,667 words per day would be no big deal...but no matter how you slice it, there's a time commitment involved. And then there's the fact that writing a novel is wholly different than writing a short story or some other smaller work of fiction.
For one thing, your characters have this strange tendency to shift around on you and change directions or main characters emerge where you'd planned for secondary characters to be. You find yourself staring wide eyed at the computer screen and yelping "But I don't know ANYTHING about the Indian caste system!" It's all very complicated and involved and it's sucking up vast amounts of time and effort. In short - I'm having a ball.
So Neil Patrick Harris finally came out. I'm so proud of him.
It takes a whole lot of guts to come out like he has when he's got this big part in a fairly successful sitcom playing a straight dude. And not only a straight dude, but a bit of a rake. Not to mention the fact that it's just harder to come out when your parents and your family live somewhere like New Mexico. I know a lot of California kids get really dismissive of people who "come out" as opposed to being out, publicly but the fact of the matter is - there are a lot of places in this country where being gay or having a gay son is just NOT ok. Everybody should be free to deal with the whole "coming out" thing on their own time table as one size does NOT fit all where these things are concerned. It's a damned difficult process and immensely complicated. Plus, from what I hear, Hollywood isn't exactly elevated in it's thinking about gay male actors. Anybody seen Danny Pintauro lately? How about that kid from Doctor Quinn Medicine woman? What's Peter Paige up to these days? Hello? Hello? Is this thing on?
I'm hoping that since that guy from Grey's Anatomy came out, a bunch of other closeted actors are thinking that maybe it's a good time for them to leap out of the closet before the door closes.
Anyhow, to say that I wasn't surprised to hear confirmation that Neil is gay would be an understatement. I knew him back when he was in high school, we circulated in similar circles - one of my first boyfriends was his understudy back when he was doing plays with Mark Medhoff. Anyway, New Mexico is a really small state, population wise so if you were in theater at all during that timeframe chances are you either know Neil or know -of- Neil.
It was pretty much a known secret in Albuquerque that Neil played for our team. It was always kind of funny/sad that every time he came back to Albuquerque the local news would get a hard on to interview him and -every- time they did, they'd ask him if he had some "special lady" in his life and the poor guy would visibly FLINCH and then hem and haw and dodge the question. I'd find myself yelling at the TV screen "Yes, there is someone special in his life, but Neil doesn't want to talk about HIM."
We were all waiting and hoping he'd eventually come out. I'm so relieved that he finally did.
Oh and the final parts of "Undercover Brother" were doubly hilarious if you knew the truth about Neil.
"I am...not...a...SISSY!!!!"
I just about DIED laughing.
Speaking of coming out or in his case, being outed....
"Right. So I hired a male prostitute, but I didn't have sex with him. And then I bought some Meth from him, but I didn't take it. I got a nice back massage and then we went out for Shirley Temples, OKAY? Why doesn't anyone believe me?"
Is it wrong that I throw my head back and donkey laugh every time I pass the neighbor who has the "New Life Church" sign in her front yard? She's been giving Soren and I the hairy eyeball ever since we moved in here and it's all I can do not to ask her "Say how's that workin' for ya now that y'all know you've had a great big honkin' meth taking homo leading you all to Zion for the past dozen years?"
The whole "honorable Pastor Ted Haggard" story fills me with an unholy glee - although I do manage to feel sorry for Haggard's wife and kids in all of this. They didn't ask for any of it and it's got to be just agonizing for them that it not only happened, but that it's happening in such a public way.
Nonetheless, I am very much enjoying the fact that he, and so many closeted Republican rat bastards, are being exposed for what they are. Big nasty hypocrites.
Now, for the record, I'm generally not a big fan of "outing" people. As I've said above, I know that the coming out process is a complicated and often rough one and everyone should allow a person to do that according to their own soul's dictates, on their own timetable.
But there is the one exception I can see making to that rule - If you make your living by kicking the hell out of gay people everywhere, engaging in hate speech towards us, using us and our lives as a political football to be used for your own personal gain and trying to legislate making us second class citizens and generally wreaking havoc on our lives. In THAT case, your lyin', cheatin', hypocritical down-low ass is fair game. And not only that, but I'm gonna LAUGH when you go down in flames, ya rat bastard.
"Dear Senator, Congressman, presidential candidate, leader of the Evangelical Association et cetera, et cetera.
We, the gay community have decided that we're getting fed up with your two-faced bullshit. Therefore, we're putting you on notice that if you spend your days trying to strip us of our rights in the name of God, Country and the Moral Order...but you spend your nights with your ankles up next to your ears getting slammed by a rent boy - we're not gonna be so good at keeping your dirty little secret a secret anymore.
If you can't manage to keep your mouth off the dick, the least you should do is keep it firmly SHUT during the whole gay marriage debates, you sorry sonofabitch.
If we see your stupid face on our TV talking about how wicked, evil and immoral "those people" are - you'd better pray to whatever mean spirited and judgemental closet gods you look to that you're never in a room with a hidden nanny cam, a cell phone that can take pictures, or a webcam. You'd also better think twice before leaving us voice mail or writing us email we could keep or even better - cc to everyone we know.
You can fuck us, but if you try to FUCK us, we're going to fuck you right back. Hard. With no lube.
No love,
The Fudge Packers Union, #69"
If only we could actually send a little gay agenda "memo" like this to all the closet cases in Washington, worded this bluntly. And if only it were true that everyone who's facilitating these ass monkeys dipping their toe in the gay ocean at night while they stab us in the back by day -would- say "No way. No more." We could have a Washingtonian "Lysistrata" on our hands.
There will be a cock embargo on Washington. No more for you guys until you knock this crap off.
Of course, the sad counterpart to my gleeful revelling in this guy's fall is the fact that nobody at all, anywhere, that I've heard talks about the -real- story behind all these Republican senators and church leaders being outed as gay (or bi, which is a possibility that NOBODY ever brings up, even though it's likely true).
The full story involves complication and nuance, so of course, the talking heads won't touch it. Nobody is going into the fact that the scandal that these guys are living has it's roots in the story of what it's like to be a little kid who wants to be a preacher or a senator or an actor when he grows up but then he realizes he's gay (or bi) as a young man. He knows for a fact that if he ever lets on - his dreams of the kind of life he's always wanted are OVER. Gone. Completely wiped off the face of the earth. And as a bonus, everyone he knows and loves will turn on him and vilify him. What choices do these guys really even have? Not everyone is strong enough to take the chance that every dream they have will turn to crap in their hands, or to lose their entire family, faith and community in one fell swoop.
It's a really poisonous state of affairs to be both one of the primary closet guardians and an occupant of the same gulag you're trying to throw everyone else into. I would imagine that these guys psyches are not pretty places to live.
I think one of the reasons the talking heads never "go there" is because what we're really talking about with the whole gay marriage debate, through all the sound bytes and incendiary press - is the right for young gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgendered kids to grow up knowing that they have the right to be whatever it's in them to be - OPENLY - regardless of whether they're GLBT or Q. That you can be those things and still have a fantastic life, a political or acting career and yes, even be a preacher in certain congregations if that's what you were called to do. That you and your chosen partner will be accorded the full rights, status and respect of anyone else in this country, and that you'll have full access to the whole American Dream - the kids, the mini-van, the white picket fence - if that's what you want. So you don't have to live this kind of lie and nobody else has to suffer through the agony of having their lives implode because their husband or wife was keeping this landmine of a secret from them.
It just makes me furious that so many of these people are so invested in overlooking the obvious because it suits their agenda. And it infuriates me that so many Americans are going along with them in dumb donkey-headed idjit style. It infuriates me that no members of the New Life churches are going to sit and think for even ten seconds about the societal forces which caused their leader to behave the way he has. It infuriates me that I have to worry now about whether or not Neil Patrick Harris will ever be seen or heard from again, after his sitcom finishes up. Or whether or not they'll just find some way to 86 his character now.
I know I'm largely preaching to the choir here, but still...if I don't yell about this somewhere I think my head might explode. At any rate, I'm hoping that things go well for Neil Patrick Harris...and the doctor from "Grey's Anatomy"...and Lance Bass...and Danny Pintauro and the kid from "Dr.Quinn, Medicine Woman." I hope things have changed enough that they -can- be who they are and be open about it and still have a career and good lives. Maybe we've finally come to the place where it no longer matters the way it once did. And maybe if we're not there now, we'll be there soon. There are little signs of hope out there, like the gay kid character on "Ugly Betty" which, whether they mean for it to or not, really does point a big, glowing neon sign at the whole "they're born that way, stupid" conversation.
Maybe the whole "save the children" thing could morph to include "including the gay ones" eventually.
And y'know, even though I'm still a touch gloaty about the fall of a couple of hypocritical Republican asshats, I do hope they find some measure of healing and peace with themselves and who they are by weathering this firestorm. Sometimes what looks like the worst thing in the world can turn out to be a pretty amazing tool for transformation and I hope they realize that and seize the opportunity. At the very least, I hope they can purge enough of the poison out of their souls that they turn loose from what's no longer serving them and don't show up yet again to make my life and the lives of my friends harder by suddenly yelping about being "Ex-gay" or any crap like that.
It'd be really nice to be able to turn to politics without constantly feeling like I was getting slapped around all the time, by both sides. And hey, wouldn't it rock to be able to turn on the TV once in awhile and see an Out male actor? A real, honest-to-God, proudly out actor doing well and thriving in a variety of roles both gay and straight? Wow, what a concept! And hey, maybe after we stopped being so priggish about deciding who stays or who goes based on that critera - TV and movies would stop SUCKING.
*laugh* It's just a theory mind you, but you've seen what we can do to a neighborhood...
"Oh yay, the gays are here! Our property values are about to go up!" - from "Will and Grace"
For one thing, your characters have this strange tendency to shift around on you and change directions or main characters emerge where you'd planned for secondary characters to be. You find yourself staring wide eyed at the computer screen and yelping "But I don't know ANYTHING about the Indian caste system!" It's all very complicated and involved and it's sucking up vast amounts of time and effort. In short - I'm having a ball.
So Neil Patrick Harris finally came out. I'm so proud of him.
It takes a whole lot of guts to come out like he has when he's got this big part in a fairly successful sitcom playing a straight dude. And not only a straight dude, but a bit of a rake. Not to mention the fact that it's just harder to come out when your parents and your family live somewhere like New Mexico. I know a lot of California kids get really dismissive of people who "come out" as opposed to being out, publicly but the fact of the matter is - there are a lot of places in this country where being gay or having a gay son is just NOT ok. Everybody should be free to deal with the whole "coming out" thing on their own time table as one size does NOT fit all where these things are concerned. It's a damned difficult process and immensely complicated. Plus, from what I hear, Hollywood isn't exactly elevated in it's thinking about gay male actors. Anybody seen Danny Pintauro lately? How about that kid from Doctor Quinn Medicine woman? What's Peter Paige up to these days? Hello? Hello? Is this thing on?
I'm hoping that since that guy from Grey's Anatomy came out, a bunch of other closeted actors are thinking that maybe it's a good time for them to leap out of the closet before the door closes.
Anyhow, to say that I wasn't surprised to hear confirmation that Neil is gay would be an understatement. I knew him back when he was in high school, we circulated in similar circles - one of my first boyfriends was his understudy back when he was doing plays with Mark Medhoff. Anyway, New Mexico is a really small state, population wise so if you were in theater at all during that timeframe chances are you either know Neil or know -of- Neil.
It was pretty much a known secret in Albuquerque that Neil played for our team. It was always kind of funny/sad that every time he came back to Albuquerque the local news would get a hard on to interview him and -every- time they did, they'd ask him if he had some "special lady" in his life and the poor guy would visibly FLINCH and then hem and haw and dodge the question. I'd find myself yelling at the TV screen "Yes, there is someone special in his life, but Neil doesn't want to talk about HIM."
We were all waiting and hoping he'd eventually come out. I'm so relieved that he finally did.
Oh and the final parts of "Undercover Brother" were doubly hilarious if you knew the truth about Neil.
"I am...not...a...SISSY!!!!"
I just about DIED laughing.
Speaking of coming out or in his case, being outed....
"Right. So I hired a male prostitute, but I didn't have sex with him. And then I bought some Meth from him, but I didn't take it. I got a nice back massage and then we went out for Shirley Temples, OKAY? Why doesn't anyone believe me?"
Is it wrong that I throw my head back and donkey laugh every time I pass the neighbor who has the "New Life Church" sign in her front yard? She's been giving Soren and I the hairy eyeball ever since we moved in here and it's all I can do not to ask her "Say how's that workin' for ya now that y'all know you've had a great big honkin' meth taking homo leading you all to Zion for the past dozen years?"
The whole "honorable Pastor Ted Haggard" story fills me with an unholy glee - although I do manage to feel sorry for Haggard's wife and kids in all of this. They didn't ask for any of it and it's got to be just agonizing for them that it not only happened, but that it's happening in such a public way.
Nonetheless, I am very much enjoying the fact that he, and so many closeted Republican rat bastards, are being exposed for what they are. Big nasty hypocrites.
Now, for the record, I'm generally not a big fan of "outing" people. As I've said above, I know that the coming out process is a complicated and often rough one and everyone should allow a person to do that according to their own soul's dictates, on their own timetable.
But there is the one exception I can see making to that rule - If you make your living by kicking the hell out of gay people everywhere, engaging in hate speech towards us, using us and our lives as a political football to be used for your own personal gain and trying to legislate making us second class citizens and generally wreaking havoc on our lives. In THAT case, your lyin', cheatin', hypocritical down-low ass is fair game. And not only that, but I'm gonna LAUGH when you go down in flames, ya rat bastard.
"Dear Senator, Congressman, presidential candidate, leader of the Evangelical Association et cetera, et cetera.
We, the gay community have decided that we're getting fed up with your two-faced bullshit. Therefore, we're putting you on notice that if you spend your days trying to strip us of our rights in the name of God, Country and the Moral Order...but you spend your nights with your ankles up next to your ears getting slammed by a rent boy - we're not gonna be so good at keeping your dirty little secret a secret anymore.
If you can't manage to keep your mouth off the dick, the least you should do is keep it firmly SHUT during the whole gay marriage debates, you sorry sonofabitch.
If we see your stupid face on our TV talking about how wicked, evil and immoral "those people" are - you'd better pray to whatever mean spirited and judgemental closet gods you look to that you're never in a room with a hidden nanny cam, a cell phone that can take pictures, or a webcam. You'd also better think twice before leaving us voice mail or writing us email we could keep or even better - cc to everyone we know.
You can fuck us, but if you try to FUCK us, we're going to fuck you right back. Hard. With no lube.
No love,
The Fudge Packers Union, #69"
If only we could actually send a little gay agenda "memo" like this to all the closet cases in Washington, worded this bluntly. And if only it were true that everyone who's facilitating these ass monkeys dipping their toe in the gay ocean at night while they stab us in the back by day -would- say "No way. No more." We could have a Washingtonian "Lysistrata" on our hands.
There will be a cock embargo on Washington. No more for you guys until you knock this crap off.
Of course, the sad counterpart to my gleeful revelling in this guy's fall is the fact that nobody at all, anywhere, that I've heard talks about the -real- story behind all these Republican senators and church leaders being outed as gay (or bi, which is a possibility that NOBODY ever brings up, even though it's likely true).
The full story involves complication and nuance, so of course, the talking heads won't touch it. Nobody is going into the fact that the scandal that these guys are living has it's roots in the story of what it's like to be a little kid who wants to be a preacher or a senator or an actor when he grows up but then he realizes he's gay (or bi) as a young man. He knows for a fact that if he ever lets on - his dreams of the kind of life he's always wanted are OVER. Gone. Completely wiped off the face of the earth. And as a bonus, everyone he knows and loves will turn on him and vilify him. What choices do these guys really even have? Not everyone is strong enough to take the chance that every dream they have will turn to crap in their hands, or to lose their entire family, faith and community in one fell swoop.
It's a really poisonous state of affairs to be both one of the primary closet guardians and an occupant of the same gulag you're trying to throw everyone else into. I would imagine that these guys psyches are not pretty places to live.
I think one of the reasons the talking heads never "go there" is because what we're really talking about with the whole gay marriage debate, through all the sound bytes and incendiary press - is the right for young gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgendered kids to grow up knowing that they have the right to be whatever it's in them to be - OPENLY - regardless of whether they're GLBT or Q. That you can be those things and still have a fantastic life, a political or acting career and yes, even be a preacher in certain congregations if that's what you were called to do. That you and your chosen partner will be accorded the full rights, status and respect of anyone else in this country, and that you'll have full access to the whole American Dream - the kids, the mini-van, the white picket fence - if that's what you want. So you don't have to live this kind of lie and nobody else has to suffer through the agony of having their lives implode because their husband or wife was keeping this landmine of a secret from them.
It just makes me furious that so many of these people are so invested in overlooking the obvious because it suits their agenda. And it infuriates me that so many Americans are going along with them in dumb donkey-headed idjit style. It infuriates me that no members of the New Life churches are going to sit and think for even ten seconds about the societal forces which caused their leader to behave the way he has. It infuriates me that I have to worry now about whether or not Neil Patrick Harris will ever be seen or heard from again, after his sitcom finishes up. Or whether or not they'll just find some way to 86 his character now.
I know I'm largely preaching to the choir here, but still...if I don't yell about this somewhere I think my head might explode. At any rate, I'm hoping that things go well for Neil Patrick Harris...and the doctor from "Grey's Anatomy"...and Lance Bass...and Danny Pintauro and the kid from "Dr.Quinn, Medicine Woman." I hope things have changed enough that they -can- be who they are and be open about it and still have a career and good lives. Maybe we've finally come to the place where it no longer matters the way it once did. And maybe if we're not there now, we'll be there soon. There are little signs of hope out there, like the gay kid character on "Ugly Betty" which, whether they mean for it to or not, really does point a big, glowing neon sign at the whole "they're born that way, stupid" conversation.
Maybe the whole "save the children" thing could morph to include "including the gay ones" eventually.
And y'know, even though I'm still a touch gloaty about the fall of a couple of hypocritical Republican asshats, I do hope they find some measure of healing and peace with themselves and who they are by weathering this firestorm. Sometimes what looks like the worst thing in the world can turn out to be a pretty amazing tool for transformation and I hope they realize that and seize the opportunity. At the very least, I hope they can purge enough of the poison out of their souls that they turn loose from what's no longer serving them and don't show up yet again to make my life and the lives of my friends harder by suddenly yelping about being "Ex-gay" or any crap like that.
It'd be really nice to be able to turn to politics without constantly feeling like I was getting slapped around all the time, by both sides. And hey, wouldn't it rock to be able to turn on the TV once in awhile and see an Out male actor? A real, honest-to-God, proudly out actor doing well and thriving in a variety of roles both gay and straight? Wow, what a concept! And hey, maybe after we stopped being so priggish about deciding who stays or who goes based on that critera - TV and movies would stop SUCKING.
*laugh* It's just a theory mind you, but you've seen what we can do to a neighborhood...
"Oh yay, the gays are here! Our property values are about to go up!" - from "Will and Grace"