while in orlando...
Ok, wow… when people from brazil come over, this is a living hell, sleep arrangements are the suck! Even though I might finally be able to sleep in a decent bed tonight, oh how do I miss my bed, lol sounding so gay right now. I really do need to sleep, a lot. Hehe I don’t really know what I am doing, I would like to think that I have all of these possibilities with all of these girls, but idk, I don’t think so. And even if I did, it wouldn't be right doing it, so yea, still mate. Sux. Sucks is a word I use a lot. No matter when, or why, it still just sucks… so pessimist. Be joyful, always, that's what I am **Supposed** to be, lmao. Gah.
Probably lost a 5v5 today, sigh. w/e who really cares about BBF anymore? Just a bunch of losers… we could have an ace team, meeh. We don’t need a pub… we can always play in BBF's… no1 would change the rcon password, I would still be able to use it to my heart's content…. Wow I am evil.
But hmm, yea gaming… that's one of the things that's on my mind, am I pushing Amadeus into gaming? I mean part of my mind is just doing it because I want to have some1 that would be playing with me, and if it’s a girl that does it, and maybe a girl that would like me, wow, that would be pretty sweet. He he, that's probably y I am pushing it so much… ugh, I am trying to change who she is, that's bad… maybe It's not something that I should do… but on the other hand, it’s just me showing her what I am passionate about, which would be sharing with her my life, pretty much. I mean that would be cool, right? Who am I to tell right from wrong? Well, but at the same time, I am walking around stores today, and I see something cute, like the tank top from cat in a hat, so w/e it would LOGICALLY be assumed that Amadeus would come to mind, but it's always Shadow, I miss her smell… haha that's bad, too bad. But I don't know, maybe part of the attraction for Amadeus, is the simple fact that she is willing to do all of that, to play games, which I am not sure if Shadow or Nothing would… ok, wtf is up with Nothing, like one day I feel as if she means the world to me, and the other, I could care less if she was alive… now, that's horrendous (wow, I spelled it right) but w/e she doesn't act like a friend would, she is never around, never bothers to see if there is anything I would want to do, so y should I care about her… we do have a relationship, a symbiotic one. Meeh. I am her shrink, isn't that awesome… and wth do I really need a girl? Or do I want one so bad that I am looking for one everywhere I can? Meep: Strange. Yea, she is the one that 1st said that, and she does like me, I don’t know y, she doesn’t even seem to be willing to accept what I see as the truth, yet she likes me. Like I know she just would never be willing to go out with me because she thinks that she will never be good enough for me.
Wait, no way…. No freaking way, there is no way on earth that most girls just would say no because they think so lowly of themselves that they think they might be bringing me down.
Ok, now back to reality, well, my consipiracy theorist sense kinda tells me that Strange would stop Shadow from saying yes, even though she might want to… meeh it better not be that, grr. I… I, idk what I would do to her, but it would not be pretty.
So hmm, apprenticeship: good idea or bad? Right now I really wanna be online so I can talk to ppl, sigh… and it's definetly too late to call them…. Blah w.e going to sleep pretty soon myself, big day ahead, and big day that has past….. Haha in the shower today, I decided that I am going to single handely revive livejournal….. I am a loser baby, so y don't u kill me?
Games is not a hobby, it's a lifestyle; I cannot change her, she has to do it willingly. It would be un-ethical to do it… I am not to forge a personnality, that;s wrong on too many levels. I wish she would call right now… sigh, lol, for that matter any of them wouldn't be too bad. Oh and I just realized that I had their names sticking out in there, so I changed to super secret code names that refer to their personailities, well kinda, hehe
Ok I need to sleep, coz yea, tomorrow, will be insane….. Muahahhaa.
PS, I wish Shadow was around… hehe
Probably lost a 5v5 today, sigh. w/e who really cares about BBF anymore? Just a bunch of losers… we could have an ace team, meeh. We don’t need a pub… we can always play in BBF's… no1 would change the rcon password, I would still be able to use it to my heart's content…. Wow I am evil.
But hmm, yea gaming… that's one of the things that's on my mind, am I pushing Amadeus into gaming? I mean part of my mind is just doing it because I want to have some1 that would be playing with me, and if it’s a girl that does it, and maybe a girl that would like me, wow, that would be pretty sweet. He he, that's probably y I am pushing it so much… ugh, I am trying to change who she is, that's bad… maybe It's not something that I should do… but on the other hand, it’s just me showing her what I am passionate about, which would be sharing with her my life, pretty much. I mean that would be cool, right? Who am I to tell right from wrong? Well, but at the same time, I am walking around stores today, and I see something cute, like the tank top from cat in a hat, so w/e it would LOGICALLY be assumed that Amadeus would come to mind, but it's always Shadow, I miss her smell… haha that's bad, too bad. But I don't know, maybe part of the attraction for Amadeus, is the simple fact that she is willing to do all of that, to play games, which I am not sure if Shadow or Nothing would… ok, wtf is up with Nothing, like one day I feel as if she means the world to me, and the other, I could care less if she was alive… now, that's horrendous (wow, I spelled it right) but w/e she doesn't act like a friend would, she is never around, never bothers to see if there is anything I would want to do, so y should I care about her… we do have a relationship, a symbiotic one. Meeh. I am her shrink, isn't that awesome… and wth do I really need a girl? Or do I want one so bad that I am looking for one everywhere I can? Meep: Strange. Yea, she is the one that 1st said that, and she does like me, I don’t know y, she doesn’t even seem to be willing to accept what I see as the truth, yet she likes me. Like I know she just would never be willing to go out with me because she thinks that she will never be good enough for me.
Wait, no way…. No freaking way, there is no way on earth that most girls just would say no because they think so lowly of themselves that they think they might be bringing me down.
Ok, now back to reality, well, my consipiracy theorist sense kinda tells me that Strange would stop Shadow from saying yes, even though she might want to… meeh it better not be that, grr. I… I, idk what I would do to her, but it would not be pretty.
So hmm, apprenticeship: good idea or bad? Right now I really wanna be online so I can talk to ppl, sigh… and it's definetly too late to call them…. Blah w.e going to sleep pretty soon myself, big day ahead, and big day that has past….. Haha in the shower today, I decided that I am going to single handely revive livejournal….. I am a loser baby, so y don't u kill me?
Games is not a hobby, it's a lifestyle; I cannot change her, she has to do it willingly. It would be un-ethical to do it… I am not to forge a personnality, that;s wrong on too many levels. I wish she would call right now… sigh, lol, for that matter any of them wouldn't be too bad. Oh and I just realized that I had their names sticking out in there, so I changed to super secret code names that refer to their personailities, well kinda, hehe
Ok I need to sleep, coz yea, tomorrow, will be insane….. Muahahhaa.
PS, I wish Shadow was around… hehe