Open Contest
For any visitor to my LiveJournal: This entry is open to anonymous comments. Don't forget to make sure I know who you are, though, in case your entry wins!
I've been toting this around for the last four years, since the second time I threw my promiscuous ex-girlfriend Kara out of my apartment. When she packed up her shit and left, she left this behind. This, she had told me, was one of her most-prized possessions. I believe her father got it for her. It's a moon and sun snowglobe that plays "When You Wish Upon A Star" when you crank the key in the base. Anyhow, she left behind this "most-prized" possession and I held on to it. Why? In the eventuality that she'd come around demanding its return, what with it being "most-prized" and all. I figured that if I did throw it away, shortly thereafter she'd come looking for it, wanting it back, and I'd get bitched at for tossing it, and lemme tell ya, she is the kind of harpy that you do not want to have bitching at you for anything.
So, I kept it and now, four years later, I'm confident that after dropping two podlings and selling one of them on the black market to buy a Mustang, she's never going to want it back, or contact me to get it. So, what does this mean for you, dear readers? Entertainment, pure and simple. I'm holding a contest for the best method of destroying this oversized, undervalued paperweight. It means nothing to me. Winner of the contest gets to be in the video detailing the destruction of this orb (if possible) and credit for coming up with the idea.
Stipulations:
The act of destroying this cannot, in any way, cause damage of other property or litter any area.
The act of destroying it should not be dangerous (e.g., dropping from a great height).
The act of destroying it should be a practical means of destruction readily available to me. That means things like thermal lances, high explosives, and dropping from orbit are right out. I want to destroy it, so giving me ways to destroy it that I can't do defeats the purpose. In short, it means you fail.
Please note that I do not have a mailing address for her. She didn't exactly leave a forwarding address and I didn't exactly care. That's part of why I still have it! I don't know if her mom still lives in the same house, and I do know her aunt and cousins no longer live where they did.
My default means of destruction involves use of hundreds of Sparklers (either regular or Morning Glory, or both in conjunction) as a sort of pseudo thermal lance that will shoot a super-hot jet of flame upward and through it, shattering the glass and instantly boiling off the water therein. If no one can suggest a method that beats this... this will be the one that I use come Fourth of July when those items become available in mass quantities.
Here is a picture of the aforementioned item.
The glitter contained within is a combination of plain opalescent glitter and moon- and star-shaped glitter pieces. It is 5.75" tall with a globe that is approximately 3.75" in diameter. The base is 4.00" in diameter. I have some other pictures, but they're all pretty much the same. Requests for more images will take approximately three weeks.
I've been toting this around for the last four years, since the second time I threw my promiscuous ex-girlfriend Kara out of my apartment. When she packed up her shit and left, she left this behind. This, she had told me, was one of her most-prized possessions. I believe her father got it for her. It's a moon and sun snowglobe that plays "When You Wish Upon A Star" when you crank the key in the base. Anyhow, she left behind this "most-prized" possession and I held on to it. Why? In the eventuality that she'd come around demanding its return, what with it being "most-prized" and all. I figured that if I did throw it away, shortly thereafter she'd come looking for it, wanting it back, and I'd get bitched at for tossing it, and lemme tell ya, she is the kind of harpy that you do not want to have bitching at you for anything.
So, I kept it and now, four years later, I'm confident that after dropping two podlings and selling one of them on the black market to buy a Mustang, she's never going to want it back, or contact me to get it. So, what does this mean for you, dear readers? Entertainment, pure and simple. I'm holding a contest for the best method of destroying this oversized, undervalued paperweight. It means nothing to me. Winner of the contest gets to be in the video detailing the destruction of this orb (if possible) and credit for coming up with the idea.
Stipulations:
The act of destroying this cannot, in any way, cause damage of other property or litter any area.
The act of destroying it should not be dangerous (e.g., dropping from a great height).
The act of destroying it should be a practical means of destruction readily available to me. That means things like thermal lances, high explosives, and dropping from orbit are right out. I want to destroy it, so giving me ways to destroy it that I can't do defeats the purpose. In short, it means you fail.
Please note that I do not have a mailing address for her. She didn't exactly leave a forwarding address and I didn't exactly care. That's part of why I still have it! I don't know if her mom still lives in the same house, and I do know her aunt and cousins no longer live where they did.
My default means of destruction involves use of hundreds of Sparklers (either regular or Morning Glory, or both in conjunction) as a sort of pseudo thermal lance that will shoot a super-hot jet of flame upward and through it, shattering the glass and instantly boiling off the water therein. If no one can suggest a method that beats this... this will be the one that I use come Fourth of July when those items become available in mass quantities.
Here is a picture of the aforementioned item.
The glitter contained within is a combination of plain opalescent glitter and moon- and star-shaped glitter pieces. It is 5.75" tall with a globe that is approximately 3.75" in diameter. The base is 4.00" in diameter. I have some other pictures, but they're all pretty much the same. Requests for more images will take approximately three weeks.