Things that make me happy!
So, in the interest of furthering my attempts of cooling my tempter and worrying less and overall lowering the chances of having an aneurysm at an early age, I am trying to concentrate on happy things instead of worrying/being angry/despairing at other things that aren't quite as happy! so.. here are some things!
1. I started sewing classes! it is a pretty odd thing for me to do, I have been told, given my otherwise tomboyish nature, but I reckon designing clothes and sewing them myself is awesome! and given I'm addicted to shopping, this could be a great thing! less expenses, woot! I've been designing purses and bags with geeky themes to reuse some of my geeky shirts that are too short -some might recall my distress at the girlish colors of women geek t-shirts and thus having to buy boy t-shirts that turn out to be too short/tight around the chest!- so hopefully once I get the hand of that sewing thing I'll make myself a Green Lantern and a Superboy purse! bwee! The other awesome thing is the teacher turned out to be a friend of my mother's side of the family from when she was very young, so she told me a lot of stories about my grandmother, my grandfather (who died before I was born) and my grandfather's sister who I loved very much. It was a fantastic Saturday morning :)
2. I am finally turning in all my papers to get my degree and the papers from the government that back up my studies this Monday! It has taking me very long due to bureaucracy and me being really, really proud and idiotic, but I am almost done. This Monday I turn them in and get them in 3 to 5 months, which is a long time but it's okay, at least my part of the bargain will be done :) I will do my grad exam (mostly just protocol) soon! I am so excited!
3. I should be back to my Italian classes in a couple of weeks. I'm dreading it a bit because... it's time I like to spend lazying around, but also, Italian! I love languages so much, and it is such a fun language! so.. I am lazy but also excited!
4. My cousin Ana returns from her semester abroad next week. I miss her so much, I'm so glad I'll be seeing her soon! X) my baby sister! fun times will be had, and lots of pool will be played!
5. I might take a course in Flash animation starting February! one of my coworkers and I are looking to convince our boss to let us go -and maybe the company might pay for it! maybe! unlikely, but just the chance to go would be great!- and it's something that I'm really looking forward to.
6. The office renovations are done, and I'm back in my desk! a new desk, even, and new chairs, and it's very trendy and cool. It has been a really hard process -you try to get 12 architects to agree on something- but I'm just so relieved that I have my own space again. No more blowing up at people who won't shut up, I hope! The energy at the office is really positive at the moment because of that. We're just happy to have a nice space to work on :)
7. mithen recommended me intj. I have been laughing and feeling incredibly relieved thanks to it! I am not insane and weird and maladjusted! it is just who I am, apparently! LOL, it's so much fun, and it makes me feel so warm and.. connected to see other people struggle with the same things I do, communication and social interaction and team work and all the other things that drive me crazy. The first time I did the test about a year or so ago I was an INFJ, but I have made it a bunch of times this past month and most of the time I get INTJ. My T/F value is switchy! which.. makes sense, I guess! It's been a difficult time of changes -no one mentioned getting out of school would be so very hard- but I think I have learned a few things about myself and life, so... despite all the frustration, I have to admit it hasn't been lost time.
8. Astrid! she's my work buddy, she.. has adopted me like a little sister of sorts, we go shopping and she talked me into the sewing class and we plan to put a little office space/workshop together, and just.. overall we make crazy plans that maybe won't come to anything, but she makes me laugh a lot and shares with me a world I had no previous contact with -she's very into self help courses and books, which I had never approached before, but she makes everything very interesting! so we talk a lot, and laugh a lot, and overall destroy the boys with our poison claws. We are Queens of Evil!
9. The Coffee Klatch of Doom and I are about to finish watching BtAS! I enjoy my time with them so much, it's sacred time every weekend to be geeky and fannish and overall catch up.
10. I got brilliant Christmas present from the flist! it makes me giddy just to look at them! The cards were awesome, my Superhero Cthulhu kicks butt and makes me want to write him fic, and Jen's present is so awesome it makes me giddy just by thinking about it X) They trickled in due my mailbox being silly, but that wasn't so bad, really, it gave me a chance to relish every thing that turned up and anticipate the next Saturday -I only have a chance to hit the mailbox on Saturdays, so... half the fun is the expectancy!
11. I'm getting together with the gang once a week to play Rock Band until our hands bleed. IT IS THE AWESOMEST!!! ROCK ON! I'm thinking of buying an X-Box and a bunch of games (Dead Space, Left for Dead and Guitar Hero World Tour! I need them! also the wrestling one so I can wrestle Jen and Dan!) so we can vary our gaming repertory. We'll see! it's awesome quality time :)
12. Last, but oh so not least, Final Crisis #6. Every time I think about it I get all giddy and excited and I laugh and squeal (not very loud, given the odd looks people send my way, but I do!). Is Batman badass or whaaat??? Man! I am really giddy as well because I predicted it to my brother months ago! He was all "pfft, of course not, Batman can't take Darkseid down. Superman has been close to killing him twice and he didn't" but I knew it in my heart! I thought it was really, really cool. I know lots of people didn't like it, but lately all I see is people not liking anything (has scans_daily gotten really pissy, or am I imagining things?). Anyway, I like to think that there's enough comics that if I don't like something I can read something else. I was talking with my brother about Morrison's comic runs, and we both love him, but he always gets :/ because Morrison tends to end things in crazy ways. I say the important thing is the ride! I love his ideas, and the way they make me think and guess and make craaazyyy guesses about where things are going. In any case I am very giddy about Batman's death! I adore Batman, and if he had to go, I really wanted him to go with a bang, and you don't go with a bigger bang than killing goddamn Darkseid. And I am already making crazy plots for how he could came back (Wake, I want to see the scans!), and most of them involve time travel (or Owlman! oiii, I love Owlman!) Is just.. all of it. So much fodder for fic! so much to squeal over! Comics! I love youuu! X)
Aaaand.. that's all for now! That's not to say that terrible things aren't still happening or that I'm super happy joy joy, but I really need to remember that life is my only chance to be happy and no one's gonna be happy for me. My sewing teacher said we all get a bag of the same size when we arrive to the world where we put our iron scraps (fierros viejos, she calls them! problems and bad experiences and worries) and that some people trade that bag for a bigger one, and then a bigger one, and so on, until the bag is way too heavy and they can't move anywhere. Why do I keep trying to cram more scraps into my bag? Let bygones be bygones! I will always carry them with me, but there's no need to carry more than I can. She's a wise lady. Super fun, too.
Luis also shared with me a mail about expectations, and why we get offended. It made me put my own wounds and offenses in perspective. I get offended when people don't react like I think they would/should. But those expectations are only in my head, the other person has no idea of them, they aren't really out to hurt me. It's my own ideas that hurt me when people don't do as I want them to. That is selfish and stupid. I have no need to see their acts as a personal affront, for they aren't -most of the time, at the very least. And even if they are, it is up to me to let it hurt me. So. Why am I expecting the world to act as I imagine it should? It is only me living inside my head (well, and the voices.) As Dan says (I am very receptive to advice and mentoring atm! Grabbing wisdom and trying to embrace it!) they aren't going to carve it in my tombstone.
So I guess this is all about letting things go. I will hold on to happiness and enjoy the moment, and then treasure those memories, instead of carrying useless scraps. Flor (the sewing teacher! seamstress?) said that if a problem surpasses me, then I shouldn't worry no more about it. It has surpassed me because I can't solve it, so it isn't in my hands to solve it anymore. The things that I am capable of I will solve, the things I'm not... well, they are out of my scope. Saul says one thing at the time. Even if I'm capable of more, I just have to focus in finishing one small thing at a time. That's all it takes.
...that was a lot of babbling. I guess I just wanted to put it all down, because... I shouldn't forget it. I need to find my balance, and I will. I guess the #13 thing that makes me very happy right now is that I have found such awesome people to help me through this period of my life, to share it with, to offer advice and laugh and cry with. I am deeply thankful to all of you for sharing with me the voyage. You are all full of light.
1. I started sewing classes! it is a pretty odd thing for me to do, I have been told, given my otherwise tomboyish nature, but I reckon designing clothes and sewing them myself is awesome! and given I'm addicted to shopping, this could be a great thing! less expenses, woot! I've been designing purses and bags with geeky themes to reuse some of my geeky shirts that are too short -some might recall my distress at the girlish colors of women geek t-shirts and thus having to buy boy t-shirts that turn out to be too short/tight around the chest!- so hopefully once I get the hand of that sewing thing I'll make myself a Green Lantern and a Superboy purse! bwee! The other awesome thing is the teacher turned out to be a friend of my mother's side of the family from when she was very young, so she told me a lot of stories about my grandmother, my grandfather (who died before I was born) and my grandfather's sister who I loved very much. It was a fantastic Saturday morning :)
2. I am finally turning in all my papers to get my degree and the papers from the government that back up my studies this Monday! It has taking me very long due to bureaucracy and me being really, really proud and idiotic, but I am almost done. This Monday I turn them in and get them in 3 to 5 months, which is a long time but it's okay, at least my part of the bargain will be done :) I will do my grad exam (mostly just protocol) soon! I am so excited!
3. I should be back to my Italian classes in a couple of weeks. I'm dreading it a bit because... it's time I like to spend lazying around, but also, Italian! I love languages so much, and it is such a fun language! so.. I am lazy but also excited!
4. My cousin Ana returns from her semester abroad next week. I miss her so much, I'm so glad I'll be seeing her soon! X) my baby sister! fun times will be had, and lots of pool will be played!
5. I might take a course in Flash animation starting February! one of my coworkers and I are looking to convince our boss to let us go -and maybe the company might pay for it! maybe! unlikely, but just the chance to go would be great!- and it's something that I'm really looking forward to.
6. The office renovations are done, and I'm back in my desk! a new desk, even, and new chairs, and it's very trendy and cool. It has been a really hard process -you try to get 12 architects to agree on something- but I'm just so relieved that I have my own space again. No more blowing up at people who won't shut up, I hope! The energy at the office is really positive at the moment because of that. We're just happy to have a nice space to work on :)
7. mithen recommended me intj. I have been laughing and feeling incredibly relieved thanks to it! I am not insane and weird and maladjusted! it is just who I am, apparently! LOL, it's so much fun, and it makes me feel so warm and.. connected to see other people struggle with the same things I do, communication and social interaction and team work and all the other things that drive me crazy. The first time I did the test about a year or so ago I was an INFJ, but I have made it a bunch of times this past month and most of the time I get INTJ. My T/F value is switchy! which.. makes sense, I guess! It's been a difficult time of changes -no one mentioned getting out of school would be so very hard- but I think I have learned a few things about myself and life, so... despite all the frustration, I have to admit it hasn't been lost time.
8. Astrid! she's my work buddy, she.. has adopted me like a little sister of sorts, we go shopping and she talked me into the sewing class and we plan to put a little office space/workshop together, and just.. overall we make crazy plans that maybe won't come to anything, but she makes me laugh a lot and shares with me a world I had no previous contact with -she's very into self help courses and books, which I had never approached before, but she makes everything very interesting! so we talk a lot, and laugh a lot, and overall destroy the boys with our poison claws. We are Queens of Evil!
9. The Coffee Klatch of Doom and I are about to finish watching BtAS! I enjoy my time with them so much, it's sacred time every weekend to be geeky and fannish and overall catch up.
10. I got brilliant Christmas present from the flist! it makes me giddy just to look at them! The cards were awesome, my Superhero Cthulhu kicks butt and makes me want to write him fic, and Jen's present is so awesome it makes me giddy just by thinking about it X) They trickled in due my mailbox being silly, but that wasn't so bad, really, it gave me a chance to relish every thing that turned up and anticipate the next Saturday -I only have a chance to hit the mailbox on Saturdays, so... half the fun is the expectancy!
11. I'm getting together with the gang once a week to play Rock Band until our hands bleed. IT IS THE AWESOMEST!!! ROCK ON! I'm thinking of buying an X-Box and a bunch of games (Dead Space, Left for Dead and Guitar Hero World Tour! I need them! also the wrestling one so I can wrestle Jen and Dan!) so we can vary our gaming repertory. We'll see! it's awesome quality time :)
12. Last, but oh so not least, Final Crisis #6. Every time I think about it I get all giddy and excited and I laugh and squeal (not very loud, given the odd looks people send my way, but I do!). Is Batman badass or whaaat??? Man! I am really giddy as well because I predicted it to my brother months ago! He was all "pfft, of course not, Batman can't take Darkseid down. Superman has been close to killing him twice and he didn't" but I knew it in my heart! I thought it was really, really cool. I know lots of people didn't like it, but lately all I see is people not liking anything (has scans_daily gotten really pissy, or am I imagining things?). Anyway, I like to think that there's enough comics that if I don't like something I can read something else. I was talking with my brother about Morrison's comic runs, and we both love him, but he always gets :/ because Morrison tends to end things in crazy ways. I say the important thing is the ride! I love his ideas, and the way they make me think and guess and make craaazyyy guesses about where things are going. In any case I am very giddy about Batman's death! I adore Batman, and if he had to go, I really wanted him to go with a bang, and you don't go with a bigger bang than killing goddamn Darkseid. And I am already making crazy plots for how he could came back (Wake, I want to see the scans!), and most of them involve time travel (or Owlman! oiii, I love Owlman!) Is just.. all of it. So much fodder for fic! so much to squeal over! Comics! I love youuu! X)
Aaaand.. that's all for now! That's not to say that terrible things aren't still happening or that I'm super happy joy joy, but I really need to remember that life is my only chance to be happy and no one's gonna be happy for me. My sewing teacher said we all get a bag of the same size when we arrive to the world where we put our iron scraps (fierros viejos, she calls them! problems and bad experiences and worries) and that some people trade that bag for a bigger one, and then a bigger one, and so on, until the bag is way too heavy and they can't move anywhere. Why do I keep trying to cram more scraps into my bag? Let bygones be bygones! I will always carry them with me, but there's no need to carry more than I can. She's a wise lady. Super fun, too.
Luis also shared with me a mail about expectations, and why we get offended. It made me put my own wounds and offenses in perspective. I get offended when people don't react like I think they would/should. But those expectations are only in my head, the other person has no idea of them, they aren't really out to hurt me. It's my own ideas that hurt me when people don't do as I want them to. That is selfish and stupid. I have no need to see their acts as a personal affront, for they aren't -most of the time, at the very least. And even if they are, it is up to me to let it hurt me. So. Why am I expecting the world to act as I imagine it should? It is only me living inside my head (well, and the voices.) As Dan says (I am very receptive to advice and mentoring atm! Grabbing wisdom and trying to embrace it!) they aren't going to carve it in my tombstone.
So I guess this is all about letting things go. I will hold on to happiness and enjoy the moment, and then treasure those memories, instead of carrying useless scraps. Flor (the sewing teacher! seamstress?) said that if a problem surpasses me, then I shouldn't worry no more about it. It has surpassed me because I can't solve it, so it isn't in my hands to solve it anymore. The things that I am capable of I will solve, the things I'm not... well, they are out of my scope. Saul says one thing at the time. Even if I'm capable of more, I just have to focus in finishing one small thing at a time. That's all it takes.
...that was a lot of babbling. I guess I just wanted to put it all down, because... I shouldn't forget it. I need to find my balance, and I will. I guess the #13 thing that makes me very happy right now is that I have found such awesome people to help me through this period of my life, to share it with, to offer advice and laugh and cry with. I am deeply thankful to all of you for sharing with me the voyage. You are all full of light.