#093: Clarity
Hello.
I've been wanting to update ever since last Thursday at work, as a result of my overly active mind that wants to address a few issues here and there. They are mostly trivial, and tbqh as I'm typing all this at 12 am ++, I kind of forgotten most of them but I'll try to talk about as many as I can remember.
There are obviously happy thoughts and depressing ones, but not to worry, those depressing ones ain't the same kind as of 2011 (a period which I considered to be the darkest for the past 19 years), in fact, they're rather mild, so I think I'm going to leave the happy ones to the end and given that they're mostly spoilers about HIMYM and TVD finales, if you haven't watch and hates spoilers its ok for you to leave now, otherwise... welcome to another long post by yours truly.
As of now, I'm in this peaceful state of mind/life where I am satisfied with how things are. I'm working but I can quit anytime; I don't have to cling onto my job as I still have my parents to support me, as selfish as this may sound. I have my next step planned out - go to University and do well enough to get a degree, and the best part is, I'm not even at that step yet, I'm enjoying my life as it is, doing the things that I want, not working for long hours at a job that I may not like, not studying for hours for a test that I may not score. I get to hang out with friends, to strengthen our friendships and to finally catch up, without the hectic school/work life in the way. Many said that this 8 months period is supposedly one of the longest break is our lives that we may have and to cherish it. Because once we graduated from universities and began to work, its an endless cycle of finding a job and sticking to it/on the lookout for a better one till we reach our retirement age. This rat race is ridiculous. So how is this not a happy thought and why isn't it left at the end of this post? Bc I am scared. As the clock tick by, we'll entering June in a mere two weeks, and that leaves me with about two months to do what I wanted. Tbh I haven't really been doing what I wanted, rather I've been doing what I needed to, which is to find a job and finance my expenses. Then what happens after uni? Do I really go into a real estate-related career? Will I be happy there? Will I eventually start my own business in 10-20 years time as I've told many about? I don't know, I really don't.
Speaking of university and the life it may offer me, the thought of me living in a hostel in NUS, for 5 days a week, far from my family in the east, is making me worried. I doubt I'll be homesick, I'm quite interested in living my way, not my family's. What I am worried for, are my family. My grandparents, my parents, my siblings. Being the eldest, you are born with a huge responsibility, you're to lead by example. I don't really want to talk about how that is in this family in great detail but I don't know how things will change within this family when I'm gone for the weekdays. You can call me irrational but I have my reasons. I've been rather protective of my brother, because he's the youngest and because I felt guilty for not giving him a great childhood, what with his two sisters being of 7-8 years older than him and are too busy with studying to even play with him. I remembered when he just started primary school and came back with his white shoes all drawn with black markers wtf :'( I was so upset. Even till now, people still bully him in Primary 5. Yes I get that bullying is inevitable, we're all subjected to it at a different period in our lives, even I did experienced it. But to see your siblings experienced it and you being so helpless argh, that just sucks. I really really really want to punch/slap those bastards in the face like who the fuck do you think you are. But then again, physical assault is punishable by law.
Ok this has been a long post, now on to happy things. This is a weird and abrupt transition but hey, both HIMYM and TVD just aired their finales :') But that means I have to wait till Sept for Seasons 9 and 5 of HIMYM and TVD respectively to air, oh well they can keep me company during school time~ Now on to the finales!! HIMYM FINALLY SHOWED THE MOTHER'S FACE like omggggg AFTER EIGHT SEASONS THAT'S RIGHT she looks cute heh but at this point Ted kind of given up on love bc he thinks his true love (Robin) is getting married to his best friend (Barney), like nah uh, your true love's on the way Ted, she's getting here as fast as she can~
Ted and the Mother ^O^
And I obviously OBVIOUSLY would have to comment on my favourite couple in the show: Barney and Robin :') They are just so damn cute oh mai gawddd can't wait for the wedding hehe <3 ok let the gifs speak for themselves:
Ok thats it for HIMYM finale, its a really sweet episode to me, one of the better ones this season, so glad:') Ok as for TVD's finale, like woah, that's an epic one. Many ships (aka pairings) were settled and I AM SO DAMN HAPPY OK LIKE I KEPT SAYING OMG (mostly in a good way) during the whole episode. Like my Klaus and Caroline, Damon and Elena, although I can't stand Elena as with each second of each episode of this Season, which I swear is the most illogical season ever given that Elena, the youngest vampire, is able to overpower other older vampires like lol whut where's the logic Julie Plec?? Ok but still THE GIFS, JUST ENJOY.
when Klaus finally appeared and saved Caroline omg look at how happy they are *\o/* #sheneedstoadmitthatsheloveshimtoo
THE SWEETEST LINE EVER IN TVD HISTORY IDC <3
Oh and Damon and Elena:)
I was kind of convinced that she'll choose Stefan (again lol) over Damon after her long speech of 'I'm sorry that I met you' etc but hey :') Then the season ended with poor Stefan stuck in a safe underwater :/ I wasn't a big fan of him but it really kind of sucks for him cause he lost his best friend (again), lost his true love (or so he thinks), he's stuck in a safe underwater after knowing a huge secret, ok two actually, that he is a doppleganger (lol again, first with Elena, but I love queen Kat heh Katerine >>> Elena) and that one of his good friend died. But the finale actually makes me look forward to the next season so not a bad job there writers.
Ok I guess its time for me to sleep, two kids to tutor later in the morning lol why do I always type long posts when I have sth on the next morning huh
xo.
I've been wanting to update ever since last Thursday at work, as a result of my overly active mind that wants to address a few issues here and there. They are mostly trivial, and tbqh as I'm typing all this at 12 am ++, I kind of forgotten most of them but I'll try to talk about as many as I can remember.
There are obviously happy thoughts and depressing ones, but not to worry, those depressing ones ain't the same kind as of 2011 (a period which I considered to be the darkest for the past 19 years), in fact, they're rather mild, so I think I'm going to leave the happy ones to the end and given that they're mostly spoilers about HIMYM and TVD finales, if you haven't watch and hates spoilers its ok for you to leave now, otherwise... welcome to another long post by yours truly.
As of now, I'm in this peaceful state of mind/life where I am satisfied with how things are. I'm working but I can quit anytime; I don't have to cling onto my job as I still have my parents to support me, as selfish as this may sound. I have my next step planned out - go to University and do well enough to get a degree, and the best part is, I'm not even at that step yet, I'm enjoying my life as it is, doing the things that I want, not working for long hours at a job that I may not like, not studying for hours for a test that I may not score. I get to hang out with friends, to strengthen our friendships and to finally catch up, without the hectic school/work life in the way. Many said that this 8 months period is supposedly one of the longest break is our lives that we may have and to cherish it. Because once we graduated from universities and began to work, its an endless cycle of finding a job and sticking to it/on the lookout for a better one till we reach our retirement age. This rat race is ridiculous. So how is this not a happy thought and why isn't it left at the end of this post? Bc I am scared. As the clock tick by, we'll entering June in a mere two weeks, and that leaves me with about two months to do what I wanted. Tbh I haven't really been doing what I wanted, rather I've been doing what I needed to, which is to find a job and finance my expenses. Then what happens after uni? Do I really go into a real estate-related career? Will I be happy there? Will I eventually start my own business in 10-20 years time as I've told many about? I don't know, I really don't.
Speaking of university and the life it may offer me, the thought of me living in a hostel in NUS, for 5 days a week, far from my family in the east, is making me worried. I doubt I'll be homesick, I'm quite interested in living my way, not my family's. What I am worried for, are my family. My grandparents, my parents, my siblings. Being the eldest, you are born with a huge responsibility, you're to lead by example. I don't really want to talk about how that is in this family in great detail but I don't know how things will change within this family when I'm gone for the weekdays. You can call me irrational but I have my reasons. I've been rather protective of my brother, because he's the youngest and because I felt guilty for not giving him a great childhood, what with his two sisters being of 7-8 years older than him and are too busy with studying to even play with him. I remembered when he just started primary school and came back with his white shoes all drawn with black markers wtf :'( I was so upset. Even till now, people still bully him in Primary 5. Yes I get that bullying is inevitable, we're all subjected to it at a different period in our lives, even I did experienced it. But to see your siblings experienced it and you being so helpless argh, that just sucks. I really really really want to punch/slap those bastards in the face like who the fuck do you think you are. But then again, physical assault is punishable by law.
Ok this has been a long post, now on to happy things. This is a weird and abrupt transition but hey, both HIMYM and TVD just aired their finales :') But that means I have to wait till Sept for Seasons 9 and 5 of HIMYM and TVD respectively to air, oh well they can keep me company during school time~ Now on to the finales!! HIMYM FINALLY SHOWED THE MOTHER'S FACE like omggggg AFTER EIGHT SEASONS THAT'S RIGHT she looks cute heh but at this point Ted kind of given up on love bc he thinks his true love (Robin) is getting married to his best friend (Barney), like nah uh, your true love's on the way Ted, she's getting here as fast as she can~
Ted and the Mother ^O^
And I obviously OBVIOUSLY would have to comment on my favourite couple in the show: Barney and Robin :') They are just so damn cute oh mai gawddd can't wait for the wedding hehe <3 ok let the gifs speak for themselves:
Ok thats it for HIMYM finale, its a really sweet episode to me, one of the better ones this season, so glad:') Ok as for TVD's finale, like woah, that's an epic one. Many ships (aka pairings) were settled and I AM SO DAMN HAPPY OK LIKE I KEPT SAYING OMG (mostly in a good way) during the whole episode. Like my Klaus and Caroline, Damon and Elena, although I can't stand Elena as with each second of each episode of this Season, which I swear is the most illogical season ever given that Elena, the youngest vampire, is able to overpower other older vampires like lol whut where's the logic Julie Plec?? Ok but still THE GIFS, JUST ENJOY.
when Klaus finally appeared and saved Caroline omg look at how happy they are *\o/* #sheneedstoadmitthatsheloveshimtoo
THE SWEETEST LINE EVER IN TVD HISTORY IDC <3
Oh and Damon and Elena:)
I was kind of convinced that she'll choose Stefan (again lol) over Damon after her long speech of 'I'm sorry that I met you' etc but hey :') Then the season ended with poor Stefan stuck in a safe underwater :/ I wasn't a big fan of him but it really kind of sucks for him cause he lost his best friend (again), lost his true love (or so he thinks), he's stuck in a safe underwater after knowing a huge secret, ok two actually, that he is a doppleganger (lol again, first with Elena, but I love queen Kat heh Katerine >>> Elena) and that one of his good friend died. But the finale actually makes me look forward to the next season so not a bad job there writers.
Ok I guess its time for me to sleep, two kids to tutor later in the morning lol why do I always type long posts when I have sth on the next morning huh
xo.