#065: Bystanders
Hi.
Was contemplating if I should blog about certain stuff haha but after seeing people updating their blogs I decided to update mine too. K what logic lol.
It's just that things are progressing so rapidly this year that our so-called 'break', the June holidays, are even used to study for our JCTs. We did have some sort of real break tho, like say, 3-4 days after JCTs ended, which is obviously not sufficient to cover our 'rest debt', ya I made that up hahaha. This time last year, I was still struggling, mainly in PW, but it was fun. People talked to one another, people had fun with one another. Gossipings were there no doubt, but there wasn't much distinction. How did things changed so much over a mere few months. Everyone knows, everyone can see the widening gap but no one's really trying to mend that gap. Maybe one or two attempted to, but it's mainly one-sided; no one's helping on the other side. Everyone's a bystander.
Anyway, today after tuition, I bought some AAA batteries for my graphing calculator. Then when I walked past the store again, the aunty who sold the batteries to me, asked me a seemingly casual, harmless question about my complexion. Something along the line of, "Didn't you see a doctor about your pimples?" with an innocent smile. Yes it seemed harmless, and it could be harmless to any of you, but to someone of negative self-esteem, who cringed every time she faced the mirror, who is willing to try any possible measures to improve her complexion, that is hurtful enough. For saying I did not try when I did. I really tried but the thing is, events that happened in my life often backfired. It's kind of the same thing as studying; you studied really hard, but somehow, you managed to attain a mere pass. Like my Biology. Wtf I spent one whole week on that subject and probably because of my previous grades for Biology, I expected so much more of myself. I expected at least a C grade again this time round. Probably gonna end up with an E this time round, the result of not giving sufficient details, of leaving out key words such as transport vesicles, and quoting the wrong data.
Okay my results. Based on the JCT papers alone, I should be able to secure 2 B/Cs for Math and Chem. E for Bio. Guessing a S/U for Econs lol totally crapped out the answers gosh, sorry Mr Foo, I felt so guilty every time I looked up during the exam and saw you on the stage with the mike sigh :( And hopefully a D but probably an E for GP sorry Mr Tan :(
But I can't give up now. Just a few more months to go.
I don't know why I would be posting such depressing stuff here because depressing stuff usually belong to my Tumblr, but even in my Tumblr, I saved certain posts as drafts instead of publishing them. Lol.
Oh yeah, I actually joined tvd_20in20 omg hahahahaha so dead. But alright, I've completed like 9-10 icons hmm, 10 more next weekend and yeah, done with the challenge. :>
Alright, have a nice day.
xo.
Oh yes, caught 'The Amazing Spiderman' in 3D with part of OG13 hehehe omg Andrew Garfield and Emma Stone <3 Plus they're together in real life aww hehehe. But the movie was really great. :)
