Oh yay, a post for 2010!
Well Im back. Things have been rough lately and I felt the need to write here again in the Livejournal. My little space on the net to let some of these things out in the open. Not really forcing anyone to see it but at least knowing that it is in fact there to be seen.
Today, I want to tell a story. A kind of dream Ive had... or really more of a nightmare.
I'm laying in bed, trying to fall asleep, when the call comes. Its part sound and part pull, loud, powerful, and forcing me out of my body and into the outside. One of my lieutenants is waiting for me to come into focus and the moment I do I'm assaulted with statements. Facts, figures, personnel placement... hes talking a mile a minute while we run to the command center. Without trying I absorb everything. I dont really hear him but everything he says become part of my knowledge. Everyone is in a panic. Not a single being is standing still. It is absolute chaos but chaos with a purpose, an underlying unity that makes this chaos particularly efficient.
All of my garrison is working on something. Gazing through mists, charging crystals, moving doors... getting ready to move and move fast. Something very bad has happened and we were totally unprepared for it. It isn't that we did not conceive of the event... we had known that it would happen somewhere eventually but it should never have happened when it did. Something we had hoped to face years from now was suddenly upon us.
Pure reflex, honed by years of command has me issuing orders. I ask one man for a date, another what time it is on the where we are going. My Staff Chief comes at me with a list that takes me seconds to approve. More importantly I need to know where the others are. The others who are in focus. Kara, Darius, and most importantly Laider, my High Commander. Ashleigh is somewhere surface side but she is not wholly in focus. I give silent thanks that she is strong enough to even do that much. Of Baide and Rhuun there is nothing which doesn't surprise me as they were never even brought back to us to begin with.
Laider is attempting to mobilized the other command levels but it will take far too long for them to reach us and the surface. Kara is too busy with an operation on one of the higher levels... she cannot be reached. Darius is completely unpredictable but there was a report of him surface side. That is good.
So all in all its just my garrison and the few legions that are co-coordinated by myself and Rekshe, another Commander. Some two hundred and twenty thousand. Standing in the nexus of the command center I take a brief moment to stare at myself on the other surface. To look at my other life. Then we take the plunge.
Catapulted through waves upon waves of color and absence, our translucent selves are snapped into complete chaos. Fires and dark shapes cover the land, men and women screaming and crying and laughing in terror. All around us is what any theologian would call the end of days. Twisted and malevolent creatures of every conceivable shape and size run rampant across civilization. Mans darkest and most primal urges and fears made flesh and bone and stench. The sky is as black as pitch and torn in places like paper, the light of the sun shining through as red in jagged strips and red as blood.
All of this is taken in instantly by my company, in the space of a single breath. Then we are moving, all of us, as one but in multitudes of direction. From our fingers lance shards of light that ricochet through the hearts of the humans around us. All are affected. Some band together in tight groups and wait for us to come for them, sheltered by the most able among them. The dying, the suffering, and most importantly the changing are stilled. And most miraculous of all, great in number but small in percentage, some of the humans are lit. They shine briefly and then release their own shards of light. These awakened grab or create whatever they can and join my host. All over the globe this is happening. In as many of the highly populated areas as I could spare I had my men calming, slaying, or converting. The slaughter turns into a war within the hour as bitter enemies of old join in materiel combat for the first time in ages.
As we fight, as the bodies of the dead begin to pile, the earth utters a deep and grating sob that is felt more then heard. I am no longer only myself. I am part of the whole, linked to and through all of my kind and everywhere we are, we felt it. So too did our horrific foes who seemed invigorated by the death cry of the planet. They are too many and while we are not so few, we cannot close the tears or mend the lines that hold the planet together. We have been trying... it has been days, mayhap weeks, but though our best and strongest try, the Na'c break us before we can finish.
The plant cries louder and more often and the streets have begun to split and crack. Building have fallen in or on one another and the sky is streaked through with more than red now. The sky is bleeding every dark and sick color it can. The faults quickly widen and branch off. Surfacers are lost by the thousands and while my company is in no danger of falling, the energy seeping from these cracks is just as dangerous. The Na'c, vile beasts, do not seem to care and do not seem to have even sustained loss though they litter the ground as much as we.
It happens quickly after this. The oneness is shattered as a fault that runs though the city I am failing to protect yawns open a mile wide and erupts in the fiery blood of the earth. I am myself again, wholly, and barely have time to shield myself from the blast that blinds me. In the white that has become my visual word I feel the violent thrashing of the earths spirit as it heaves and throws all around me. My shields, second to only one in strength and reserve, begin to fail rapidly.
Before I can be completely consumed I hear a call again, this time by a hundred voices that snaps me with enough force that my body feels it. In a breath I am collapsed on a crag overlooking the ruined city surrounded by my soldiers. These brave men who pulled me from the fire by the pure devotion and trust we shared. A mile away, the massive rend in the skin of the earth continues to belch fire and all around us I see the glow of in-numerous more. The surfacers are lost. This world is will soon be dead. I fill with black rage that completely consumes me...
And that is where I will end. I know all that comes after but even though they are just words on the screen it is too much for me to put into writing. This last part I cannot expunge from myself... not yet.
Some may know what this nightmare means. Others who know me may guess. Those few who are just passing may want to know or may not. As with all my previous entries I am putting this here for no real specific reason. Only that I was gripped by a compulsion to do so and submitted to it.
If you want to respond please do. If you want to get a hold of me, you either know how or can find a way. This is what keeps me up most nights. And now its here... not all of it, but most of it. Maybe now it cannot hurt me as deeply.
Today, I want to tell a story. A kind of dream Ive had... or really more of a nightmare.
I'm laying in bed, trying to fall asleep, when the call comes. Its part sound and part pull, loud, powerful, and forcing me out of my body and into the outside. One of my lieutenants is waiting for me to come into focus and the moment I do I'm assaulted with statements. Facts, figures, personnel placement... hes talking a mile a minute while we run to the command center. Without trying I absorb everything. I dont really hear him but everything he says become part of my knowledge. Everyone is in a panic. Not a single being is standing still. It is absolute chaos but chaos with a purpose, an underlying unity that makes this chaos particularly efficient.
All of my garrison is working on something. Gazing through mists, charging crystals, moving doors... getting ready to move and move fast. Something very bad has happened and we were totally unprepared for it. It isn't that we did not conceive of the event... we had known that it would happen somewhere eventually but it should never have happened when it did. Something we had hoped to face years from now was suddenly upon us.
Pure reflex, honed by years of command has me issuing orders. I ask one man for a date, another what time it is on the where we are going. My Staff Chief comes at me with a list that takes me seconds to approve. More importantly I need to know where the others are. The others who are in focus. Kara, Darius, and most importantly Laider, my High Commander. Ashleigh is somewhere surface side but she is not wholly in focus. I give silent thanks that she is strong enough to even do that much. Of Baide and Rhuun there is nothing which doesn't surprise me as they were never even brought back to us to begin with.
Laider is attempting to mobilized the other command levels but it will take far too long for them to reach us and the surface. Kara is too busy with an operation on one of the higher levels... she cannot be reached. Darius is completely unpredictable but there was a report of him surface side. That is good.
So all in all its just my garrison and the few legions that are co-coordinated by myself and Rekshe, another Commander. Some two hundred and twenty thousand. Standing in the nexus of the command center I take a brief moment to stare at myself on the other surface. To look at my other life. Then we take the plunge.
Catapulted through waves upon waves of color and absence, our translucent selves are snapped into complete chaos. Fires and dark shapes cover the land, men and women screaming and crying and laughing in terror. All around us is what any theologian would call the end of days. Twisted and malevolent creatures of every conceivable shape and size run rampant across civilization. Mans darkest and most primal urges and fears made flesh and bone and stench. The sky is as black as pitch and torn in places like paper, the light of the sun shining through as red in jagged strips and red as blood.
All of this is taken in instantly by my company, in the space of a single breath. Then we are moving, all of us, as one but in multitudes of direction. From our fingers lance shards of light that ricochet through the hearts of the humans around us. All are affected. Some band together in tight groups and wait for us to come for them, sheltered by the most able among them. The dying, the suffering, and most importantly the changing are stilled. And most miraculous of all, great in number but small in percentage, some of the humans are lit. They shine briefly and then release their own shards of light. These awakened grab or create whatever they can and join my host. All over the globe this is happening. In as many of the highly populated areas as I could spare I had my men calming, slaying, or converting. The slaughter turns into a war within the hour as bitter enemies of old join in materiel combat for the first time in ages.
As we fight, as the bodies of the dead begin to pile, the earth utters a deep and grating sob that is felt more then heard. I am no longer only myself. I am part of the whole, linked to and through all of my kind and everywhere we are, we felt it. So too did our horrific foes who seemed invigorated by the death cry of the planet. They are too many and while we are not so few, we cannot close the tears or mend the lines that hold the planet together. We have been trying... it has been days, mayhap weeks, but though our best and strongest try, the Na'c break us before we can finish.
The plant cries louder and more often and the streets have begun to split and crack. Building have fallen in or on one another and the sky is streaked through with more than red now. The sky is bleeding every dark and sick color it can. The faults quickly widen and branch off. Surfacers are lost by the thousands and while my company is in no danger of falling, the energy seeping from these cracks is just as dangerous. The Na'c, vile beasts, do not seem to care and do not seem to have even sustained loss though they litter the ground as much as we.
It happens quickly after this. The oneness is shattered as a fault that runs though the city I am failing to protect yawns open a mile wide and erupts in the fiery blood of the earth. I am myself again, wholly, and barely have time to shield myself from the blast that blinds me. In the white that has become my visual word I feel the violent thrashing of the earths spirit as it heaves and throws all around me. My shields, second to only one in strength and reserve, begin to fail rapidly.
Before I can be completely consumed I hear a call again, this time by a hundred voices that snaps me with enough force that my body feels it. In a breath I am collapsed on a crag overlooking the ruined city surrounded by my soldiers. These brave men who pulled me from the fire by the pure devotion and trust we shared. A mile away, the massive rend in the skin of the earth continues to belch fire and all around us I see the glow of in-numerous more. The surfacers are lost. This world is will soon be dead. I fill with black rage that completely consumes me...
And that is where I will end. I know all that comes after but even though they are just words on the screen it is too much for me to put into writing. This last part I cannot expunge from myself... not yet.
Some may know what this nightmare means. Others who know me may guess. Those few who are just passing may want to know or may not. As with all my previous entries I am putting this here for no real specific reason. Only that I was gripped by a compulsion to do so and submitted to it.
If you want to respond please do. If you want to get a hold of me, you either know how or can find a way. This is what keeps me up most nights. And now its here... not all of it, but most of it. Maybe now it cannot hurt me as deeply.