…And a happy new year…
Well Scott is about to leave again. He got to come home on VBL for Christmas, but is gone again on the 3rd. We probably wont see him again until April or May when he gets out of AIT, and then it wont be for long, if at all, before he leaves again for jump school, or advanced rifleman, or what ever else he does. I think after AIT he gets his permanent duty station though, so we'll be moving where ever that is. It is going to be weird finally leaving this smoggy little town with the sick lollipop purple skies I have been calling home for the past 22 years. I've been dying to get out of this place all my life, and I'm still more then pleased to leave it, it's just going to be strange. I know everything here so well, the mundane everyday life of knowing every inch of a town, knowing where every street will take you, and knowing what to expect is going to change so soon. I don't mind that, it will be refreshing to take a wrong turn and not be able to say "eh, I can still get there, but there will be things I'll miss. There are lots of memories and people I'll be leaving behind, and I don't know how far I will be going. So many places I had the best days of my life. Jack Dalton park where i spent my entire teenage life, Eggleston falls, where I spent the last day with Cory before he left this world, just talking all night, the Hardees parking lot where Scott and I spent our first night just sitting in the van for 8 hours, my nook in the woods, all the trees I've watched grow up, Figsboro road where I drive all night when it's been a bad day or week or month. So many places both good and bad that some I may never see again. And what about Jess? I've spent my whole life with her, she's been there for me for everything and I've been there for her, what if I'm far away and can't be there if she ever does need me? I don't live with her anymore, and I don't see her near as much as I used to, but at least its at the smallest amount once a week, and I could if I wanted to. It's almost frightening leaving her. She's my sister, but she's also been my mom, my best friend, my enemy when I needed one, a father to Persephone, she's been everything for every part of my life. I know that she'll be okay, and so will I, I just don't want to lose that closeness that I have to her. And Roxanne, she’s been in my life for 16 years, and we wouldn’t be who we are now without each other. In the long run I know everyone will be okay, and happy, and life will go on and be peachy keen, I’ll just miss some things, but all and all, I can’t wait to continue my life and see where it takes me. More like where it takes us. I can’t wait to watch the kids grow up. Scott and I will be able to really start our lives, without the weight of our life here to weigh us down. Honestly the idea of us just being us makes my heart go thumpy-bump. I’m one of the few lucky people in this world to find a man I love more then anything. I would happily spend every waking minute with him and I would feel like my life was worth it. I don’t even care if he felt the same, I’m glad I got him. :) But back to the here and now, life is about to get mighty blue in my world. It’s going to be just me and the kids, alone again. And this time it will be for a very long time. I’m not a big fan of the military in general, but now it takes my husband so I really don’t care for it at all. It does pay the bills though, and allows me to stay home with Cloud and Bug, and the healthcare…I guess it’s for the best…maybe. Eh, I’m done with this post tonight, it saddens me. Sorry, that was a depressive bit of nothing I just posted, but I hope everyone has a happy new year, and for those of you crazies who believed with all of your tiny, naive hearts that the world was on the frits and about to end, I TOLD YOU SO! if you could see me now, you would know I’m pointing and laughing and waiving my tongue around like a 6 year old who just ate your candy…ok not really, but I’m thinking it, which is just as good while typing, if we were face to face, rest assured it would be acted out, Just for funsies.