On recent Fora drama...
Recently on the MSPA fora the F!S thread was locked, perhaps locked a tad too late. The reason of course was for the drama it spurred, and when there was a lull in the drama it would melt into nonsensical dribble involving image macros and Panera bread.
I don't know whether this is a good thing or a bad thing. I was often in the fray as an opposing voice to the gang of people who kept insisting that most secret makers were passive aggressive cowards just wanting to scream into a pillow and find comfort in their own "jerkassness". Unfortunately among these people were a few mods, who possibly felt that the people who merely expressed mere dissatisfaction and bad experiences of a fora that otherwise many other prominent members insisted was the "friendliest place on the internet" as an attack to their own performance as mods. When the problem was not something that could be solved by reporting every single incident a member felt attacked but rather something that involves the very aura and culture of the place.
Without me and a few others in opposition to this such as Doctor Sneeze this would have turned into a thread dedicated to hissyfitting over people hissyfitting over the fora. Rather than realize that there may be a harshness to the very tones of the moderators and prominent members they took it as just whining. I admit that I do feel hurt after all this drama, not because of the tide of opposition against me but rather what it means for my reputation on the fora. I can't help but be paranoid I have been blocked by many people. Not even Zuki seems to answer my PMs anymore.
On one hand the people "sick of it" will no longer be entangled in the things that stir them up, or listen to the angst. On the other people will feel a tad more free to express themselves on F!S. The only sad thing about this is that the secrets won't be "heard" by as many people on the fora as before.
I do admit that yes there is a lot of trolling and personal attacks on F!S, I don't like it either but at the same time there are a lot of heartfelt and genuine displeasure confessions going on. Even before the first negative F!S attacking the MSPA fora came out, some people responded to a few heartfelt F!Ss with "Bleh why do these people need to feel all touchy feely?". I believe these first few sparks of negativity toward secret makers may have sparked the cascade of rants toward the fora. Technophile tries to put on as many as he can without filtering much, and I admit that I don't like his policy to post personal attacks that are "too vague" but clear personal attacks to the person they aim to regardless such as using such person's fan art.
The problem of course was the refusal to understand and empathize with others. Some insisted that the fora was the best fandom they've ever been and use that to attack others who claimed it wasn't for them. This of course is utterly myopic and as ridiculous as telling someone they are a whining idiot because they don't like tapioca pudding because for you tapioca pudding is the best thing ever. The moment one says "I don't get it" it means yeah they really don't get it; they really are missing something important here. This failure to understand of course brought with it hate and ignorance as that usually does in many other things in life.
Another misconception is that F!S is just screaming into a pillow and as helpful as catharsis. Catharsis usually refers to, in Psychology as the attempt to "release" anger on something by causing harm to it. Many studies do show that catharsis indeed is useless to relieve anger and only reinforces anger further. PostSecret, F!S, LJ secrets, etc do not work like that. The process of making, submitting, and sharing a secret is much different than punching a pillow. It involves processing the thought or feeling, putting it into words, and of course seeing if you aren't alone. Some may say that this is just an excuse to get an asspat and validating your rage. Nope. The need to see if you aren't along and that you are heard is a very primal need for social animals such as humans. It shows up time and time again in studies related to social relationships and happiness, that one of the fundamental needs of humans is to feel like one matters and that one's concerns matter. When people try to "fix" or "correct" the concerns themselves it often makes people feel worse and alienated further. I learned this at first not from Psychology classes but from people I met and knew. Most of my life I have been surrounded by people with emotional issues or mental disorders, so much to me I find it normal. Unfortunately I also used to be a jerk toward such people sometimes especailly when things got severe and I alienated them. Later on the tables turned on me and then I knew what if felt like to be in their shoes. It stung badly but it changed me for the better.
When I first saw PostSecret, it was the book . I remember leafing through each page with much interest as what seemed like something odd quickly turned for me into something heartfelt. At the time I was at one of the peaks of my struggle with OCD and reading that book made me realize that ordinary people aren't...so ordinary. That even the most happy and normal looking people have deep regrets, conflicts, and quirks. It made me feel better not in the way that "it's okay" for me to have OCD but rather that there are a lot of people with deep issues and anxieties and none of them are so alone anymore, and neither was I. The need to be heard and not alone is something fundamental to the very healing process that it is often the cornerstone of suicide prevention hotlines. In fact PostSecret was started by someone who was into a suicide prevention organization. When people call suicide prevention hotlines they do want help, they are hesitant to kill themselves, and they call because they want to be listened to, to feel as if they matter to at least someone.
But this is FANDOM Secrets you say? I know at first the concept seemed silly to me but the fact that it exists alone shows how fandom has become an important part of many people's social circles and outlook in life. Now on the internet fandom of course is much more respected but not too long ago it was one of those traits that made you an awkward nerd...depending of course on what the fandom is.
If you do not believe me, read this:
http://www.nytimes.com/2010/07/31/us/31hotline.html?ref=health
I know it was a mistake for me to boast about my studying in psychology, sociology and anthropology as people will often take this for know-it-all syndrome and feel like I am trying hard to be an arrogant prick. However it is useful to know in dealing with these things and is not pure BS. In fact it's more like calling Eyes5 a know-it-all arrogant prick for expressing her extensive knowledge of Biology often. Psychology is a legit and serious science, unfortunately it tramples a lot onto common knowledge and even our own identities and free will. But before psychology became the way it is today, the subject was saturated with plenty of ignorance and mistreatment of mental illness and social functioning.
However it shouldn't take a psychology student to grasp the importance of compassion, empathy, and not pushing your own worldview on others( by the way I should say that in the book "Emotional Intelligence" by Daniel Goldman there is a very good chapter on the power of empathy and even tells a story of a drunk and angry man in a train in Japan. Most people were scared of him but another man approached him and asked him what was wrong, the drunk man told his story and calmed down.).
If it does, I will loose absolute faith in humanity and wish for Klaatu to come to Earth.
Fortunately there are some of you, and I am really proud of you for this, that despite the illusion of anonymity and disconnection the internet provides have been able to understand others better and not push the woeful away. Yes, even on the fora and the fandom.
But I do admit that perhaps to those who don't understand; it's not entirely their fault either due to their attitude, mood, upbringing, worldview,
and how the illusion of disconnection the internet provides creates emotional detachment which leads to a significant loss of empathy due to not seeing the other person's face.
like this portion of a Cracked article states:
We can't take credit for this one, blogger and Internet entrepreneur Jason Calacanis coined the term "Internet Asperger's Syndrome" to describe the utter loss of all social rules and empathy that seems to hit some people for no other reason than that they happen to be communicating via keyboard and monitor at the time.
Asperger's Syndrome.
This rarely diagnosed but often claimed disorder is a mild form of Autism that comes with what seems to be a biological inability to show empathy for other human beings, as well as (and maybe stemming from) an inability to recognize nonverbal cues. They continually do weird, upsetting things because they don't know it's upsetting you. That part of their brain is broken.
People cringe when they hear this term because they know that a large number of the teenagers claiming Asperger's are, in fact, merely dicks.
Calacanis figured out that people who do all of their communicating online wind up mimicking Asperger's behaviors because they are imposing the same disadvantages on themselves. In both cases, when the ability to see nonverbal responses and facial expressions goes away, so does empathy. Soon the thing you're communicating with isn't a person, they're just a bunch of words on a screen. A bunch of words that the little bastard didn't even bother to spellcheck.
Yeah I know, it's a Cracked article, but do heed the source of the blogger Calacanis that is provided in the link. I have observed many of his points myself. His evidence at first seems anedotal but he does mention studies and his commentary is on the documentary "We Live in Public". I can also say that there are studies linking something very similar to road rage; since it also creates a subconscious barrier between us and humanizing the other person fully.
I would like to wrap this up with an idea: How about making a Homestuck F!S community here?, away from the haters and the mods of course.
I don't know whether this is a good thing or a bad thing. I was often in the fray as an opposing voice to the gang of people who kept insisting that most secret makers were passive aggressive cowards just wanting to scream into a pillow and find comfort in their own "jerkassness". Unfortunately among these people were a few mods, who possibly felt that the people who merely expressed mere dissatisfaction and bad experiences of a fora that otherwise many other prominent members insisted was the "friendliest place on the internet" as an attack to their own performance as mods. When the problem was not something that could be solved by reporting every single incident a member felt attacked but rather something that involves the very aura and culture of the place.
Without me and a few others in opposition to this such as Doctor Sneeze this would have turned into a thread dedicated to hissyfitting over people hissyfitting over the fora. Rather than realize that there may be a harshness to the very tones of the moderators and prominent members they took it as just whining. I admit that I do feel hurt after all this drama, not because of the tide of opposition against me but rather what it means for my reputation on the fora. I can't help but be paranoid I have been blocked by many people. Not even Zuki seems to answer my PMs anymore.
On one hand the people "sick of it" will no longer be entangled in the things that stir them up, or listen to the angst. On the other people will feel a tad more free to express themselves on F!S. The only sad thing about this is that the secrets won't be "heard" by as many people on the fora as before.
I do admit that yes there is a lot of trolling and personal attacks on F!S, I don't like it either but at the same time there are a lot of heartfelt and genuine displeasure confessions going on. Even before the first negative F!S attacking the MSPA fora came out, some people responded to a few heartfelt F!Ss with "Bleh why do these people need to feel all touchy feely?". I believe these first few sparks of negativity toward secret makers may have sparked the cascade of rants toward the fora. Technophile tries to put on as many as he can without filtering much, and I admit that I don't like his policy to post personal attacks that are "too vague" but clear personal attacks to the person they aim to regardless such as using such person's fan art.
The problem of course was the refusal to understand and empathize with others. Some insisted that the fora was the best fandom they've ever been and use that to attack others who claimed it wasn't for them. This of course is utterly myopic and as ridiculous as telling someone they are a whining idiot because they don't like tapioca pudding because for you tapioca pudding is the best thing ever. The moment one says "I don't get it" it means yeah they really don't get it; they really are missing something important here. This failure to understand of course brought with it hate and ignorance as that usually does in many other things in life.
Another misconception is that F!S is just screaming into a pillow and as helpful as catharsis. Catharsis usually refers to, in Psychology as the attempt to "release" anger on something by causing harm to it. Many studies do show that catharsis indeed is useless to relieve anger and only reinforces anger further. PostSecret, F!S, LJ secrets, etc do not work like that. The process of making, submitting, and sharing a secret is much different than punching a pillow. It involves processing the thought or feeling, putting it into words, and of course seeing if you aren't alone. Some may say that this is just an excuse to get an asspat and validating your rage. Nope. The need to see if you aren't along and that you are heard is a very primal need for social animals such as humans. It shows up time and time again in studies related to social relationships and happiness, that one of the fundamental needs of humans is to feel like one matters and that one's concerns matter. When people try to "fix" or "correct" the concerns themselves it often makes people feel worse and alienated further. I learned this at first not from Psychology classes but from people I met and knew. Most of my life I have been surrounded by people with emotional issues or mental disorders, so much to me I find it normal. Unfortunately I also used to be a jerk toward such people sometimes especailly when things got severe and I alienated them. Later on the tables turned on me and then I knew what if felt like to be in their shoes. It stung badly but it changed me for the better.
When I first saw PostSecret, it was the book . I remember leafing through each page with much interest as what seemed like something odd quickly turned for me into something heartfelt. At the time I was at one of the peaks of my struggle with OCD and reading that book made me realize that ordinary people aren't...so ordinary. That even the most happy and normal looking people have deep regrets, conflicts, and quirks. It made me feel better not in the way that "it's okay" for me to have OCD but rather that there are a lot of people with deep issues and anxieties and none of them are so alone anymore, and neither was I. The need to be heard and not alone is something fundamental to the very healing process that it is often the cornerstone of suicide prevention hotlines. In fact PostSecret was started by someone who was into a suicide prevention organization. When people call suicide prevention hotlines they do want help, they are hesitant to kill themselves, and they call because they want to be listened to, to feel as if they matter to at least someone.
But this is FANDOM Secrets you say? I know at first the concept seemed silly to me but the fact that it exists alone shows how fandom has become an important part of many people's social circles and outlook in life. Now on the internet fandom of course is much more respected but not too long ago it was one of those traits that made you an awkward nerd...depending of course on what the fandom is.
If you do not believe me, read this:
http://www.nytimes.com/2010/07/31/us/31hotline.html?ref=health
I know it was a mistake for me to boast about my studying in psychology, sociology and anthropology as people will often take this for know-it-all syndrome and feel like I am trying hard to be an arrogant prick. However it is useful to know in dealing with these things and is not pure BS. In fact it's more like calling Eyes5 a know-it-all arrogant prick for expressing her extensive knowledge of Biology often. Psychology is a legit and serious science, unfortunately it tramples a lot onto common knowledge and even our own identities and free will. But before psychology became the way it is today, the subject was saturated with plenty of ignorance and mistreatment of mental illness and social functioning.
However it shouldn't take a psychology student to grasp the importance of compassion, empathy, and not pushing your own worldview on others( by the way I should say that in the book "Emotional Intelligence" by Daniel Goldman there is a very good chapter on the power of empathy and even tells a story of a drunk and angry man in a train in Japan. Most people were scared of him but another man approached him and asked him what was wrong, the drunk man told his story and calmed down.).
If it does, I will loose absolute faith in humanity and wish for Klaatu to come to Earth.
Fortunately there are some of you, and I am really proud of you for this, that despite the illusion of anonymity and disconnection the internet provides have been able to understand others better and not push the woeful away. Yes, even on the fora and the fandom.
But I do admit that perhaps to those who don't understand; it's not entirely their fault either due to their attitude, mood, upbringing, worldview,
and how the illusion of disconnection the internet provides creates emotional detachment which leads to a significant loss of empathy due to not seeing the other person's face.
like this portion of a Cracked article states:
We can't take credit for this one, blogger and Internet entrepreneur Jason Calacanis coined the term "Internet Asperger's Syndrome" to describe the utter loss of all social rules and empathy that seems to hit some people for no other reason than that they happen to be communicating via keyboard and monitor at the time.
Asperger's Syndrome.
This rarely diagnosed but often claimed disorder is a mild form of Autism that comes with what seems to be a biological inability to show empathy for other human beings, as well as (and maybe stemming from) an inability to recognize nonverbal cues. They continually do weird, upsetting things because they don't know it's upsetting you. That part of their brain is broken.
People cringe when they hear this term because they know that a large number of the teenagers claiming Asperger's are, in fact, merely dicks.
Calacanis figured out that people who do all of their communicating online wind up mimicking Asperger's behaviors because they are imposing the same disadvantages on themselves. In both cases, when the ability to see nonverbal responses and facial expressions goes away, so does empathy. Soon the thing you're communicating with isn't a person, they're just a bunch of words on a screen. A bunch of words that the little bastard didn't even bother to spellcheck.
Yeah I know, it's a Cracked article, but do heed the source of the blogger Calacanis that is provided in the link. I have observed many of his points myself. His evidence at first seems anedotal but he does mention studies and his commentary is on the documentary "We Live in Public". I can also say that there are studies linking something very similar to road rage; since it also creates a subconscious barrier between us and humanizing the other person fully.
I would like to wrap this up with an idea: How about making a Homestuck F!S community here?, away from the haters and the mods of course.