Somethings been on my mind.....
my mom's kinda-sorta-for the most part moved into the apartment, but i am not to have ANY peace of mind yet. i was hoping beyond hope that she would be more...well...that she would be better once she got out of the old place. but honestly, i don't think its meant to be. I am not a professional, but i *think* she has some issues that are beyond what I can do for her. it doesn't help that she has those dang cats that apparently have no use for the litter box, O_O
Anyways, both myself & my mom had known her current biulding managers since the 80's when we were all neighbours, so i had taken some time to speak with them regarding my concerns about mom inaitally, and what i am doing for her because either she is unable or unWILLING to do for herself, and what further i am trying to do--get her in to the doctor for perhaps a further assessment of things...like her capabilities & such....So she was at least aware that things were not all great.
Bottom line is, mom's just not taking care of herself--not even the basic needs. & i don't know why exactly. She will never be honest with you if you ask her & if you persist then she'll get combative. its a no-win. So you have to take another approach or just bloody DO whatever you can YOURSELF! i dunno, but i am deeply concerned & damn near at my wits end.
Anyway, so the building mngrs know me & know my phone # and i'd been in contact with them since moms been in there & i knew there were issues with the cats--such as the smell in the hallway--i mean, i don't know personally having no sense of smell myself, but i knew it was a problem with the other tenents & that they have to keep telling mom, and then after they'd talk to her, it would be ok for a couple days, but then ppl would complain again, and so on and so forth...:::sighhh:::
mom did not know i was made aware of this, & had been going over there, tending to the litter box myself, buying a proper-BETTER- litter box, air filters; air fresheners; a litter SCOOP! she didn't even have THAT for godsakes! yadda yadda yadda--the whole bit! BUT, its hard to maintain THIS house AND hers AND work fulltime--i just can't keep it up ENOUGH to avoid the phone call i inevitably got today. Which was...again from the building mnger, telling me first that someone in the building had called the board of health and they in turn were in contact with them. She told them about MY concerns and now board of health ppl want to speak with me first before going in to talk to mom because they want to know if they should bring a nurse...you know...because of any mental concerns. I guess the obvious answer to that would be YES! Of course! HOWEVER, i've some concerns of my own about this.....is this "nurse" going to be from the local CCAC (community health care services) BECAUSE, if so, she had someone from there come into the OTHER house i guess regularly for abit after she was discharged from the hospital summer of 2009 when she was diagnosed as diabetic. (she was only IN the hospital to BE diagnosed as such in the first place because of ME!) but anyway, i thought for sure that some kind of action would've taken place THEN because of the visitations, as ANY health practicioner should have SEEN how mom was living, yet no action was taken. she was actually written off as being quite capable. i was shocked. dumbfounded.
My other concern is......how the HELL do i brouch this subject with mom?? do i flat out tell her that those dang cats got her in trouble?? do i tell her because of that, someones coming to talk to her? because i know if i do, that she'll just take a cab & make sure she's not around that day. Do i NOT tell her, & maybe she leaves somewhere anyway missing them...?? Do i play dumb?? And wth is all going to become of this??? i know these are all steps that need to be taken because i honestly question whether she really is capable of taking care of herself. And how sad is that since she's only 65??
i was at the doctor today (mom & I have the same doctor) & i got the paper work for her to go get her blood retested--as the last time it was tested her sugar was "sky high"---doesn't surprise me AT ALL! then i also went ahead and made a follow-up app for her to see the doctor which she is NOT GOING TO BE HAPPY ABOUT! OH MY FUCK! i'm dreading telling her that--because she's very unreasonable. not to mention in COMPLETE denial.
i know tomrrw (friday) she'll want me to take her grocery shopping, & thats fine. i had also thought--prematurely, and maybe i was just in a bit of denial myself--but i thought earlier, like in a few days ago, that maybe she would enjoy having the kids overnight for new yrs eve. not that i had any plans-i do NOT-but i thought it would've been nice to at least have the house to ourselves for what seems like the first time in forever--but i knew better. especailly once i got that phone call. ::siigh:: Anyway, i will not be lying when i tell her i'm not feeling well. i feel like SHIT actually. And my initail visit to the doctor today was because of me feeling like shit, so...i think that the kids would enjoy plans for "camp-out" on the living room floor with munchies, pop & movies! & i'll tell her instead, that those are our plans now.
but i can't shake this dread i have.
like hows this all going to play out.
whats inevitably going to be the outcome.
What will be my role.......
how badly is she going to hate me?
of course i hope that this will all lead to her being healthy & in a better frame of mind, but at the same time, i can't help but doubt it.
Earlier this evening-altho i only had soup for lunch & veggies & dip supper, @ work immidiately following my supper break i took the WORST, most nastiest stomach pain i've ever experienced yet! luckily it didn't last initailly in its worst-state, for more than an hour, then it eased bit by bit after that until by 10 i was feeling pretty good again. But you know what i thought soon after it hit?? i thought, well no bloody wonder!
help me. somebody, please.
Anyways, both myself & my mom had known her current biulding managers since the 80's when we were all neighbours, so i had taken some time to speak with them regarding my concerns about mom inaitally, and what i am doing for her because either she is unable or unWILLING to do for herself, and what further i am trying to do--get her in to the doctor for perhaps a further assessment of things...like her capabilities & such....So she was at least aware that things were not all great.
Bottom line is, mom's just not taking care of herself--not even the basic needs. & i don't know why exactly. She will never be honest with you if you ask her & if you persist then she'll get combative. its a no-win. So you have to take another approach or just bloody DO whatever you can YOURSELF! i dunno, but i am deeply concerned & damn near at my wits end.
Anyway, so the building mngrs know me & know my phone # and i'd been in contact with them since moms been in there & i knew there were issues with the cats--such as the smell in the hallway--i mean, i don't know personally having no sense of smell myself, but i knew it was a problem with the other tenents & that they have to keep telling mom, and then after they'd talk to her, it would be ok for a couple days, but then ppl would complain again, and so on and so forth...:::sighhh:::
mom did not know i was made aware of this, & had been going over there, tending to the litter box myself, buying a proper-BETTER- litter box, air filters; air fresheners; a litter SCOOP! she didn't even have THAT for godsakes! yadda yadda yadda--the whole bit! BUT, its hard to maintain THIS house AND hers AND work fulltime--i just can't keep it up ENOUGH to avoid the phone call i inevitably got today. Which was...again from the building mnger, telling me first that someone in the building had called the board of health and they in turn were in contact with them. She told them about MY concerns and now board of health ppl want to speak with me first before going in to talk to mom because they want to know if they should bring a nurse...you know...because of any mental concerns. I guess the obvious answer to that would be YES! Of course! HOWEVER, i've some concerns of my own about this.....is this "nurse" going to be from the local CCAC (community health care services) BECAUSE, if so, she had someone from there come into the OTHER house i guess regularly for abit after she was discharged from the hospital summer of 2009 when she was diagnosed as diabetic. (she was only IN the hospital to BE diagnosed as such in the first place because of ME!) but anyway, i thought for sure that some kind of action would've taken place THEN because of the visitations, as ANY health practicioner should have SEEN how mom was living, yet no action was taken. she was actually written off as being quite capable. i was shocked. dumbfounded.
My other concern is......how the HELL do i brouch this subject with mom?? do i flat out tell her that those dang cats got her in trouble?? do i tell her because of that, someones coming to talk to her? because i know if i do, that she'll just take a cab & make sure she's not around that day. Do i NOT tell her, & maybe she leaves somewhere anyway missing them...?? Do i play dumb?? And wth is all going to become of this??? i know these are all steps that need to be taken because i honestly question whether she really is capable of taking care of herself. And how sad is that since she's only 65??
i was at the doctor today (mom & I have the same doctor) & i got the paper work for her to go get her blood retested--as the last time it was tested her sugar was "sky high"---doesn't surprise me AT ALL! then i also went ahead and made a follow-up app for her to see the doctor which she is NOT GOING TO BE HAPPY ABOUT! OH MY FUCK! i'm dreading telling her that--because she's very unreasonable. not to mention in COMPLETE denial.
i know tomrrw (friday) she'll want me to take her grocery shopping, & thats fine. i had also thought--prematurely, and maybe i was just in a bit of denial myself--but i thought earlier, like in a few days ago, that maybe she would enjoy having the kids overnight for new yrs eve. not that i had any plans-i do NOT-but i thought it would've been nice to at least have the house to ourselves for what seems like the first time in forever--but i knew better. especailly once i got that phone call. ::siigh:: Anyway, i will not be lying when i tell her i'm not feeling well. i feel like SHIT actually. And my initail visit to the doctor today was because of me feeling like shit, so...i think that the kids would enjoy plans for "camp-out" on the living room floor with munchies, pop & movies! & i'll tell her instead, that those are our plans now.
but i can't shake this dread i have.
like hows this all going to play out.
whats inevitably going to be the outcome.
What will be my role.......
how badly is she going to hate me?
of course i hope that this will all lead to her being healthy & in a better frame of mind, but at the same time, i can't help but doubt it.
Earlier this evening-altho i only had soup for lunch & veggies & dip supper, @ work immidiately following my supper break i took the WORST, most nastiest stomach pain i've ever experienced yet! luckily it didn't last initailly in its worst-state, for more than an hour, then it eased bit by bit after that until by 10 i was feeling pretty good again. But you know what i thought soon after it hit?? i thought, well no bloody wonder!
help me. somebody, please.