Hey jealousy....
So, I'm reading a new webcomic by Sarah Ellerton called Phoenix Requiem. I've read some of her other stuff, and I really like her artwork and writing, so I'm digging through the backstory.
There's a certain familiar element to it - Mysterious Man shows up in town, takes a fancy to Local Girl. Local Guy (who, of course, likes Local Girl, but hasn't had any luck with her) gets jealous.
Which got me thinking about jealousy. It's sort of a primal emotion - strikes a lot of people, in many cases without them even being fully aware of it. It can creep up on you, sour you before you realize quite what's bothering you.
M-W defines it pretty basically - being jealous is being "hostile toward a rival or one believed to enjoy an advantage." The thing is, jealousy is rarely a "clean" thing - it splashes, sloshes around, hits other targets. Typically, not just the rival, but the shared object of interest.
You don't see it in Sarah's story, but I'm sure we've seen it in real life. If it were Real Life, Local Guy would be cranky - not just at Mysterious Man, but also Local Girl, and probably even a little pissy when Random Friend drops by to chat and ask how life is.
Which, in a way, is rather counterproductive, in my eyes. I mean, sure, you're not expecting Local Guy to just ignore Mysterious Man, nor really be best buds with him or anything. But being a cranky prat to everyone else certainly isn't going to help his case any. Not only is it going to bug Random Friend, but it's also not going to endear him to Local Girl - in fact, it's more likely to make her want to spend *less* time with him, which means that, effectively, Local Guy's jealousy is pushing away the very person he wants to draw near.
Jealousy can have its place - you get riled up when you feel a threat to something you care about, and don't want to lose. If nothing else, it lets you know that something's important. But, let's face it, most of the time? The way we express it only ends up shooting ourselves in the foot, because it exacerbates the problem. (Or, creates a problem, since, if Local Girl doesn't really care at all about Mysterious Man, but Local Guy acts like a jerk, Local Girl isn't going to be too happy, now is she?)
FTR: I've actually been Local Guy, been the one who acted cranky - and learned, first-hand, what the results of that are. And that world's full of a whole lot of strife because of jealousy. We need to find different ways to deal with it, different ways of expressing "fear of loss" or desire without it being destructive.
There's a certain familiar element to it - Mysterious Man shows up in town, takes a fancy to Local Girl. Local Guy (who, of course, likes Local Girl, but hasn't had any luck with her) gets jealous.
Which got me thinking about jealousy. It's sort of a primal emotion - strikes a lot of people, in many cases without them even being fully aware of it. It can creep up on you, sour you before you realize quite what's bothering you.
M-W defines it pretty basically - being jealous is being "hostile toward a rival or one believed to enjoy an advantage." The thing is, jealousy is rarely a "clean" thing - it splashes, sloshes around, hits other targets. Typically, not just the rival, but the shared object of interest.
You don't see it in Sarah's story, but I'm sure we've seen it in real life. If it were Real Life, Local Guy would be cranky - not just at Mysterious Man, but also Local Girl, and probably even a little pissy when Random Friend drops by to chat and ask how life is.
Which, in a way, is rather counterproductive, in my eyes. I mean, sure, you're not expecting Local Guy to just ignore Mysterious Man, nor really be best buds with him or anything. But being a cranky prat to everyone else certainly isn't going to help his case any. Not only is it going to bug Random Friend, but it's also not going to endear him to Local Girl - in fact, it's more likely to make her want to spend *less* time with him, which means that, effectively, Local Guy's jealousy is pushing away the very person he wants to draw near.
Jealousy can have its place - you get riled up when you feel a threat to something you care about, and don't want to lose. If nothing else, it lets you know that something's important. But, let's face it, most of the time? The way we express it only ends up shooting ourselves in the foot, because it exacerbates the problem. (Or, creates a problem, since, if Local Girl doesn't really care at all about Mysterious Man, but Local Guy acts like a jerk, Local Girl isn't going to be too happy, now is she?)
FTR: I've actually been Local Guy, been the one who acted cranky - and learned, first-hand, what the results of that are. And that world's full of a whole lot of strife because of jealousy. We need to find different ways to deal with it, different ways of expressing "fear of loss" or desire without it being destructive.