(no subject)
This has been a crazy couple of weeks. I just sit here at work, where I should be doing something productive, daydreaming of how all of this should be going wrong. I have no explanations, just that thing in the back of my head that only creeps to the rational part of my brain during 3am drives home from Toledo. Then I get lost, both on the road and in my head, and it takes me forever to realize that I probably should just put those thoughts back where they belong. But where does that put me in the end? I'll tell you where... on Garden street heading west into a town I've never heard of. It takes everything I have to concentrate on directions, but that doesn't work, so I end up two hours later in the driveway of a dark and lonely house saying "what the fuck just happened" out loud to myself.
But I somehow make everything seem alright. I tend to make sure everyone else is okay before I really think, how is this going to effect me. I never quite understood it, but I kind of put things into piles in my head. These are the things I need to freak out about immediately, these problems can be solved by a night out with the girls, and these can be solved by a night by myself, listening to some good music and a nice cold drink. Not that any of these things ever really solve my problems or moments of randomness, but it does help temporarily. I guess if that's all that I can do, I'm happy with that for now. In the end, things will eventually work themselves out, or they won't. Either way, you just deal with it right? If none of that works, I take my headphones, put in some Tool and grab those boxing gloves. There's a bag in the next room that would love to meet my fists of rage.
Or I guess there is writing. Somehow that makes me at least able to concentrate enough to make it through the day.
But I somehow make everything seem alright. I tend to make sure everyone else is okay before I really think, how is this going to effect me. I never quite understood it, but I kind of put things into piles in my head. These are the things I need to freak out about immediately, these problems can be solved by a night out with the girls, and these can be solved by a night by myself, listening to some good music and a nice cold drink. Not that any of these things ever really solve my problems or moments of randomness, but it does help temporarily. I guess if that's all that I can do, I'm happy with that for now. In the end, things will eventually work themselves out, or they won't. Either way, you just deal with it right? If none of that works, I take my headphones, put in some Tool and grab those boxing gloves. There's a bag in the next room that would love to meet my fists of rage.
Or I guess there is writing. Somehow that makes me at least able to concentrate enough to make it through the day.