Here's to the Ladies
Lots of the classic male gaze anthems take on a new life when the queer gaze gets involved. It can be a little difficult to get too irritated with songs extolling the virtues of the ladies when you, well, empathize with some of their sentiments. And as a few have noted concerning the Cruel Intentions pics this week, queer reappropriation/reclamation of "girl-on-girl is hot!" imagery for their own purposes is not just possible, but also the reality of how some people came into their identities.
Not only did being brought up on the screen idols of yore in the studio system guide me towards my eventual Asian idols fandom, but it, and the latter, probably fed and nurtured my interests, to favoring the girls and women on my screen. (definitely, for the latter) Is it any wonder that I immediately started bridging the two idol systems at first chance, finding songs from the former so applicable as serenades to the subjects from the latter? One of my first photoshops was to put together a banner of classic studio system stars with "American Idols" overlaid on top in the style of the show's logo, for my JPHIP signature. (idol forum)
And yeah, every time these songs pop up on my music player, I just get the biggest shit-eating grin on my face, as well as some lecherous leering at certain lyrics, in complete agreement, with that little extra bit of smugness because this song was an ode to female objectification, but damn right ladies are great. Take this montage from That's Entertainment 3, for example. Yes, it's a propaganda segment for the MGM idol machine, with all of the same problems as its modern counterparts, and it's all white people except for Lena, there's some cultural appropriation in the fashions, and of course it's still mostly a promotion of traditional beauty standards, with all of their problems. But it's still a parade of some truly great ladies, who did some pretty awesome things, looking spectacular. (Seriously, look up Hedy Lamarr. That is one righteous badass.) Fuck the original purpose of the montage, I'mma respect and appreciate the fuck out of these people. (Fuck, I only recognize 19 of them, although a few I remember the movie and not the actress. Not nearly enough recognition. MY CRED IT WITHERS)
It helps that most of these songs are sung in a reverent form of appreciation, rather than the "tonight I'm fucking you" type of lyrics some modern artists think passes for praise nowadays. There's objectification, and then there's objectification, you know? Time and place for dirty talk. This post isn't going for that.
A Pretty Girl is Like a Melody, from The Great Ziegfeld
This sets a pretty fucking high bar, both in visuals and song, that sheer economics will make impossible to recreate in the future, barring CGI.
Here's the Girls from Ziegfeld Follies
Unf, Cyd doing ballet. She makes me happy. The PINK HORSE CAROUSEL OF DOOOOOOM makes me laugh a lot. They're oddly inconsistent as to who should look into the camera or not, and the "Lucille Ball tames a bunch of catgirls" almost seems like it should be an anime or something.
The arrangement is pretty flawless. Mmmmm, luscious late MGM orchestration. Can't go wrong with it.
(Todo: Esther Williams spam)
Dames, by Harry Dubin and All Warren: 42nd Street reprise, 1934 original, audio only
This is a song that gets me right in the wota brain, no matter how contradictory it is to my tastes otherwise.
I'm Spec Monkey, moreso than ever, and yet, "Who writes the words and music, to all the girly shows? No one cares and no one knows!" No argument there. (BTW, the answer is that Yasushi Akimoto writes the words and Yoshimasa Inoue does the music.) And yeah, I do go for, to see a show for, tell the truth, I go to see those beautiful dames. (Preferably of the fellow-dame-loving variety.)
Although, I do remember their names. Hah, take that, lyrics. Lawdy, in May of 2012 I evidently remembered 119 in the 48G juggernaut alone, and there's another 93 or so from H!P, and then miscellaneous shit like TGS, SweetS, MomoClo, Avex divas, and whoops I did end up forgetting the names for Dempagumi and J*Deez. Sorry! I guess they are temporary flames, after all. Shameless DD, whooooo!
Version preference: On the one hand, the 1934 Busby Berkeley sequence gets as gloriously weird as the old Busby numbers used to. Like, AKB48 wishes their Mvs could get as weirdly sensual as Busby sequences do. The 42nd Street version is also accompanied by some great dancing, and I always love me some dancing. On the other hand, the 42nd Street version is also welded to "Keep Young and Beautiful," which should die in a fire.
Beautiful Girls from Stephen Sondheim's Follies. Audio only from the 1985 concert special
Ah, there's just nothing better than those legendary Sondheim turns of phrase. "This was how Sampson was shorn, each in her a style a Delilah reborn!" Augh, that is just a delightful bit to sing, always. Plus, Sondheim plays around with the composition, with some great sudden key changes to keep it interesting. Flawless charmers, every one.
(Todo: Barbara Cook spam)
One, from A Chorus Line: Original cast, 2006 revival
Everyone has that moment, that bias, that idol, that crush. When that one person becomes a singular sensation. And every little step she takes, every minute line she utters, becomes the most important event of history.
Also, I'm pretty sure all classically-trained dancers are obligated to put this choreo in their toolbox at some point, and bust this dance out whenever they hear the song. So iconic.
I can't find a clean full version of the "You Stepped out of a Dream" number from Ziegfeld Girl, the ending footage from that montage I linked earlier, that has both good picture and audio. Ah well, its lyrics can get kind of hinky, but I just bliss out to the luscious sound of Tony Martin's voice, so.
Crappy "film the screen" footage, Clean footage with no audio
Yes, unfortunately, the visuals for these are pretty pasty white, outside of ACL. And yes, they follow traditional caucasian beauty standards, barring Follies. But the lyrics are more widely applicable, which is why I didn't include a few other songs of a similar style, but with more specific lyrics I don't agree with. Like, Arthur Freed's "Beautiful Girl," especially featured in Singing in the Rain, is just an icky, icky song, especially with that "and you're over sweet 16" line. "There is Nothing Like a Dame" from South Pacific has a few relevant lines, but it's not actually a Dames-appreciation song, so much as an "I am super horny right now gdi" song, and the actual performances of it are all about the manservice.
An actual honorable mention would go to Baby You Knock Me Out, but this post is more focussed on those giant spectacle numbers with the parades of ladies, than the solo highlights.
Not only did being brought up on the screen idols of yore in the studio system guide me towards my eventual Asian idols fandom, but it, and the latter, probably fed and nurtured my interests, to favoring the girls and women on my screen. (definitely, for the latter) Is it any wonder that I immediately started bridging the two idol systems at first chance, finding songs from the former so applicable as serenades to the subjects from the latter? One of my first photoshops was to put together a banner of classic studio system stars with "American Idols" overlaid on top in the style of the show's logo, for my JPHIP signature. (idol forum)
And yeah, every time these songs pop up on my music player, I just get the biggest shit-eating grin on my face, as well as some lecherous leering at certain lyrics, in complete agreement, with that little extra bit of smugness because this song was an ode to female objectification, but damn right ladies are great. Take this montage from That's Entertainment 3, for example. Yes, it's a propaganda segment for the MGM idol machine, with all of the same problems as its modern counterparts, and it's all white people except for Lena, there's some cultural appropriation in the fashions, and of course it's still mostly a promotion of traditional beauty standards, with all of their problems. But it's still a parade of some truly great ladies, who did some pretty awesome things, looking spectacular. (Seriously, look up Hedy Lamarr. That is one righteous badass.) Fuck the original purpose of the montage, I'mma respect and appreciate the fuck out of these people. (Fuck, I only recognize 19 of them, although a few I remember the movie and not the actress. Not nearly enough recognition. MY CRED IT WITHERS)
It helps that most of these songs are sung in a reverent form of appreciation, rather than the "tonight I'm fucking you" type of lyrics some modern artists think passes for praise nowadays. There's objectification, and then there's objectification, you know? Time and place for dirty talk. This post isn't going for that.
A Pretty Girl is Like a Melody, from The Great Ziegfeld
This sets a pretty fucking high bar, both in visuals and song, that sheer economics will make impossible to recreate in the future, barring CGI.
Here's the Girls from Ziegfeld Follies
Unf, Cyd doing ballet. She makes me happy. The PINK HORSE CAROUSEL OF DOOOOOOM makes me laugh a lot. They're oddly inconsistent as to who should look into the camera or not, and the "Lucille Ball tames a bunch of catgirls" almost seems like it should be an anime or something.
The arrangement is pretty flawless. Mmmmm, luscious late MGM orchestration. Can't go wrong with it.
(Todo: Esther Williams spam)
Dames, by Harry Dubin and All Warren: 42nd Street reprise, 1934 original, audio only
This is a song that gets me right in the wota brain, no matter how contradictory it is to my tastes otherwise.
I'm Spec Monkey, moreso than ever, and yet, "Who writes the words and music, to all the girly shows? No one cares and no one knows!" No argument there. (BTW, the answer is that Yasushi Akimoto writes the words and Yoshimasa Inoue does the music.) And yeah, I do go for, to see a show for, tell the truth, I go to see those beautiful dames. (Preferably of the fellow-dame-loving variety.)
Although, I do remember their names. Hah, take that, lyrics. Lawdy, in May of 2012 I evidently remembered 119 in the 48G juggernaut alone, and there's another 93 or so from H!P, and then miscellaneous shit like TGS, SweetS, MomoClo, Avex divas, and whoops I did end up forgetting the names for Dempagumi and J*Deez. Sorry! I guess they are temporary flames, after all. Shameless DD, whooooo!
Version preference: On the one hand, the 1934 Busby Berkeley sequence gets as gloriously weird as the old Busby numbers used to. Like, AKB48 wishes their Mvs could get as weirdly sensual as Busby sequences do. The 42nd Street version is also accompanied by some great dancing, and I always love me some dancing. On the other hand, the 42nd Street version is also welded to "Keep Young and Beautiful," which should die in a fire.
Beautiful Girls from Stephen Sondheim's Follies. Audio only from the 1985 concert special
Ah, there's just nothing better than those legendary Sondheim turns of phrase. "This was how Sampson was shorn, each in her a style a Delilah reborn!" Augh, that is just a delightful bit to sing, always. Plus, Sondheim plays around with the composition, with some great sudden key changes to keep it interesting. Flawless charmers, every one.
(Todo: Barbara Cook spam)
One, from A Chorus Line: Original cast, 2006 revival
Everyone has that moment, that bias, that idol, that crush. When that one person becomes a singular sensation. And every little step she takes, every minute line she utters, becomes the most important event of history.
Also, I'm pretty sure all classically-trained dancers are obligated to put this choreo in their toolbox at some point, and bust this dance out whenever they hear the song. So iconic.
I can't find a clean full version of the "You Stepped out of a Dream" number from Ziegfeld Girl, the ending footage from that montage I linked earlier, that has both good picture and audio. Ah well, its lyrics can get kind of hinky, but I just bliss out to the luscious sound of Tony Martin's voice, so.
Crappy "film the screen" footage, Clean footage with no audio
Yes, unfortunately, the visuals for these are pretty pasty white, outside of ACL. And yes, they follow traditional caucasian beauty standards, barring Follies. But the lyrics are more widely applicable, which is why I didn't include a few other songs of a similar style, but with more specific lyrics I don't agree with. Like, Arthur Freed's "Beautiful Girl," especially featured in Singing in the Rain, is just an icky, icky song, especially with that "and you're over sweet 16" line. "There is Nothing Like a Dame" from South Pacific has a few relevant lines, but it's not actually a Dames-appreciation song, so much as an "I am super horny right now gdi" song, and the actual performances of it are all about the manservice.
An actual honorable mention would go to Baby You Knock Me Out, but this post is more focussed on those giant spectacle numbers with the parades of ladies, than the solo highlights.