(no subject)
Ogura: Arashi no Shukudai kun starts now!
Sakurai: Alright, and here we have tonight's guest. Let's take a look at this. A cheerful talkative person who wears spectacles. There are quite a few people who wear spectacles and appear on TV right?
Aiba: There are quite a lot right?
Sakurai: He sticks out as someone who is cheerful and talkative and wears spectacles on TV right?
Ogura: Is this like MatsuJun too?
Sakurai: He is jealous of Ninomiya.
Nino: Wa, wa, wa!
Sakurai: He's in the midst of jealousy. So MatsuJun has all the points here.
Nino: So shall we just have Jun kun as the guest?
Sakurai: So let's really do that then.
Aiba: Let's do it.
Matsu: He's being violent. He's being violent!
Nino: Ok, ok, let's open it. Let's open it.
Sakurai: Alright, with that, presenting today's guest.
Guest: I am not Tamori! This is lonely.
Sakurai: You are too cheerful.
Guest: Cheerful? On the contrary, I am getting darker and darker by the minute. What do you mean you're fine with Matsu Jun?
Sakurai: Well, he has all the points...
Nino(?): And he looks like you...
Guest: What's with this atmosphere?
Maids: Welcome back, Master!
Guest: I'm back!
Narrator: Tonight good-tempered Yashima san and a bad-tempered Matsu Jun will be *moe at a maid's cafe! On top of that, Yashima san is the only one excited over an incomprehensible musician! AnS will start shortly after this!
Sakurai: Once again, our guest today is Yashima Norito san! Please take care of us!
Guest: I'm telling you again, I'm not Tamori!
Sakurai: Yashima san has appeared with us on several occasions in variety programs, but is there any member which you have met in your own time?
Guest: Well, the two of us being "spectacles friends"...we've met at Shun's house right? I have a feeling we did...
Matsu: Yeah, I have a feeling we did...
Nino: Sorry, who is Shun?
Guest: Shun? Oguri Shun.
Matsu: What's with that look of self satisfaction?
Guest: Oguri Shun.
Sakurai: Are you close with Oguri Shun?
Guest: Well, we acted in a drama together, and there was a time, when most of my mail was from Oguri Shun. It was like Oguri Shun, Oguri Shun, Wife, Oguri Shun, Oguri Shun...
Sakurai: So, did it feel like you were always together?
Guest: Yes, we did a lot of things together like buying stuff together...when we were visiting each other's house, with Shun...
Matsu: Yeah, when there were 3 people...
Guest: Yes, it felt like you were there.
Matsu: Yes, I, too, have a feeling that we were together.
Nino: Hey, sorry, but...
Sakurai: Why is it so ambiguous?
Guest: Because the both of us happened to not be wearing spectacles. We couldn't see. Ninomiya san is close to Nakahashi Kazumi san.
Nino: Yes.
Guest: And because I'm often with Nakahashi san, the 3 of us went drinking at a Soba place right?
Nino: Yes, yes.
Guest: I said that I'm jealous of Ninomiya san...I'm been with Takahashi san for a very long time, we're often told that we're a combination, and even at the agency, we have a direct Senpai-Kouhai relationship. As a Kouhai, I thought my skills at controlling Takahashi san was number 1 in the world. And then, this person. *He can control Takahashi san to his whim and will.
Sakurai: Because of that?
Matsu: So you're jealous because of that.
Guest: Because I'm his direct junior, I can't say something like "Hey, baldie!" right?
Sakurai: There's a line you cannot cross.
Guest: Yes, a line. But this guy, just went ahead and crossed the line like this.
Aiba: So you can't cross that line with Takahashi san?
Guest: Everytime I try to cross the line, Takahashi san will say, "Haha, Oi!"
Nino: Scary, scary!
Aiba: Scary!
Sakurai: Because you have a Senpai-Kouhai relationship.
Guest: And a few months later, he said to me, "You were too much at that time." Because there was an incident like that, I really wonder if I were in Arashi...
Sakurai: He would like you more. Alright, so we'll move on to the first Shukudai. Please!
Ogura: A Shukudai from the guest to the viewers. Searching and suggesting Moe moe food from an ideal maid cafe.
Sakurai: The viewers don't seem to receive this too well.
Guest: Then you can just go home! It's fine even if you go home.
Narrator: Let's have such a Yashima san fully enjoy the experience of a maid cafe. Nino who's a regular patron of Akiba, if you would do the honours!
Nino: Well, first up!
Guest: What's with that "Well!"
Nino: Let's raise your tension!
Guest: Ok, please!
Nino: Already, a secret garden...
Guest: Is there?
Nino: When you open the door...even though it's an orthodox cafe, you're looking forward to it right?
Guest: Yes, firstly. Firstly.
Nino: But I think you'll be lonely by yourself.
Guest: Yes, lonely. It's dangerous if I go by myself right?
Nino: Yes. That's right, so it's alright if you could pick a partner.
Guest: Alright then, my spectacles rival.
Nino: A request for Matsumoto san!
Matsu: I'm sorry for making you wait!
Nino: So two for today?
Guest: You were so slow. Slow!
Matsu: Sorry, sorry.
Nino: So, is it alright with just the two of you today?
Guest: Yes.
Nino: So two people?
Matsu: Yes, two people.
Guest: Yes.
Nino: Ok, ok, wait, please don't get so excited.
Matsu: Can we take pictures?
Nino: Yes, yes, but please don't get so excited. Please go in.
Matsu: We're going.
Guest: Shall we go?
Matsu: Shall we go? We're going.
Nino: Please enjoy yourself.
Maids: Welcome home master!
Guest: I'm home!
Maids: Please sit down!
Guest: Wait a minute, wait, my face is really showing my happiness right?
Nino: Here we have Akihabara's Maid Cafe Pinafore's Miyaha san and Ribon san.
Ribon: I'm ribon.
Guest: You're ribon.
Ribon: Yes, thanks!
Nino: Alright, so if we could have the food!
Miyaha: Alright, understood!
Ribon: Understood!
Miyaha: I'm sorry for the long wait master! This is the omelette rice that Pinafore's fairy has made.
Guest: A fairy has?
Matsu: Who, who?
Miyaha: Yes! A fairy has made it! Here, you have coffee and omelette rice, but we have more!
Ribon: For this, I will pour the gum syrup and milk for you. When it's just about right, please say Chuki!
Guest: Chuki.
Ribon: With Chuki, I will stop. So if you would please. Alright the, please pardon me.
Guest: Chuki!
Ribon: Thanks! Then with the milk, if you could please add my name and say "Robin chan Chuki"
Guest: With your name? Ok.
Ribon: Alright, please pardon me.
Guest: Robin chan Chuki
Ribon: Because it makes me happy, if you could please say it one more time!
Guest: Robin chan Chuki! It's going to flow over, it's going to flow over!
Robin: Thanks!
Nino: If you could please do the same for the master beside him as well!
Robin: Alright, for this side then, instead of stop, if you could please say "Nyan Nyan" If you could be a cat...
Matsu: I'll just have it *black.
Nino: Don't treat her lightly.
Robin: Then, please pardon me.
[Words on screen: Coercion]
Nino: Oh! She's already started.
Matsu: Wait, wait!
Robin: Please pardon me.
Matsu: Nyan, nyan, nyan!!
Guest: The action, the action!
Matsu: Nyan, nyan, nyan!!
Robin: Ok, thanks!
Matsu: Isn't this too sweet?? Even though I said I wanted it black!
Guest: Look, the bottom is completely transparent!
Nino: Don't complain!
Ribon: This is one of the standards to Moe! Next, if we could have you say "Babu babu"
[Words on screen: Please follow the rules]
Guest: Isn't yours super good?? To be able to say "Babu babu"!
Robin: Please be a baby! Then, please pardon me!
Matsu: Babu Babu!
Robin: Please say it again!
Matsu: Babu Babu!
Guest: Hey, isn't that scary!
Nino: You're scary! Sorry, Robin chan.
Miyaha: Ok, next, we will write words on the omelette in front of our masters.
Guest: Write words?
Miyaha: Do you have anything you'd like to have written?
Nino: Anything is fine.
Guest: Alright then, Yashi Moe.
Miyaha: Alright, Yashi Moe it is.
Matsu: I don't have any say in this.
Miyaha: I'm excited.
Guest: It's wobbly.
Miyaha: It's wobbly. I always get nervous, but for my masters' sakes...
Matsu: You're good at this.
Matsu: You're writing it in Kanji.
Guest: Ah! You're writing it in Kanji! You're good!
Nino: That's because she's written it several times before!
Matsu: You're good at this!
Miyaha: Ok, it's done.
Guest: Wow, that's amazing!
Miyaha: Sorry for making you wait!
Guest: So you won't feed us right?
Miyaha: Yes, we won't feed you. But we'll cheer you on!
Guest.Matsu: Cheer us on?
Nino: Ok, please support the both of them.
Miyaha.Ribon.Matsu: Go for it! Go for it!
Miyaha: You can definitely eat it!
Miyaha.Ribon.Matsu: Go for it! Go for it!
Guest: Wait, hang on a second. You tell me to "go for it" but I was the one who ordered this right?
Nino: The fairy did her best in making it, so we would also like for the person eating it to do his best.
Miyaha: Unlike normal food, this has magic in it.
Robin: Yes.
Miyaha: You'll go "Fuwa"~
Guest: There's no way I'll go "Fuwa".
Miyaha: Yes, you will, you will.
Nino: Please cheer him on.
Robin.Miyaha: Go for it! Go for it!
Miyaha: If it's master, you can go "Fuwa!"
Sakurai: It's magic. The magic has appeared.
Guest: It's delicious. It's delicious right?
Miyaha. Robin: Yes, it's delicious.
Guest: Wait, the pink master doesn't seem to want to do this.
Nino: If the two of you could please cheer on the pink master.
Miyaha.Robin: Pink Master, go for it! Go for it! Moe moe, pink! Go for it!
Guest: Go for it!
Robin: You'll probably go "Fuwa"
Aiba: Will he?
Robin: Yes, I think he will.
Matsu: This is delicious.
Nino: What a bad customer.
Miyaha: He is strong. His endurance level is high.
Guest: His level is high? By the way, my level is high too.
Nino: After eating, you can take a picture with the maids. What will you do?
Matsu: Let's take one. Let's take one.
Guest: Let's take one.
Miyaha: Our popular pose is making a heart shape with our masters.
Guest: Shall we do that?
Robin: Yes!
Miyaha: If we could have the masters do this together...
Matsu: Like this?
Mayashi: Yes.
Guest: Ah, a chain of hearts! A chain of hearts!
[Words on screen: A flaming chain of hearts]
Guest: Nino, here! A chain of hearts! It's formed like this. Thanks for today!
Nino: Sorry, but it's almost time...
Matsu: Eh? We're done?
Nino: Yes.
Guest: Ok, so I'm going home.
Miyaha.Robin: Ok. Please have a safe journey masters.
Guest. Ok.
Matsu: How was it?
Guest: I liked Ribon Chan's "Yes, please". The voice was something I was looking forward to.
Nino: And next we have...erm...if you ask me to recommend...well...
Guest: A recommended partner?
Nino: Who is good?
Guest: Someone who seems like he'll have fun with me. Ohno kun.
Nino: Ohno san, there's a request for you!
Ohno: Hello! Please take care of me.
Guest: What's with that sudden change?
Ohno: NoI
Guest: Does it mean you're into it?
Ohno: It's just that it's my first time, so I'm excited.
Guest: Then, let's go!
Nino: So if you could go in without asking anything.
Guest: Eh?
Nino: Please go in!
Guest: Eh? Then does that mean it's different this time?
Nino: Yes.
Ohno.Guest: Hello!
Maid 1: What did you come here for?
Maid 2: Could you just hurry up and sit. Hurry up and sit. You're being a hindrance there.
Guest: Sorry.
Sho: What, what, what?
[Words on screen: Going home?]
Nino: Not yet!
Guest: You're being a hindrance so hurry up and enter. You're being a hindrance there, hurry up and sit.
Maid 2: Did you not hear us? Hurry and sit.
[Words on screen: The menu and hot towels are...!]
Maid 2: Hurry up and decided ok?
Nino: This is a *Tsudere cafe, Cafe Bar Nagomi.
Guest: This isn't calm at all right?
Nino: Yes, this is a "sister" type maid cafe.
Ohno: "Sister" type?
Maid 1: Hey, you're slow!
Guest: Sorry, sorry.
Maid 1: Anything is fine right?
Guest: Anything is fi-
Maid 1: Anything is fine.
Maid 2: Why can't you hurry up and decide?
Guest: We don't even get to choose?
Maid 2: It's not like I have to draw this cutely right?
Guest: Wait, wait, calm down for a while. Calm down for a while. Firstly, what is this?
Maid 2: You can't tell by looking at it? It's curry right?
Guest: I see. But it's black.
Ohno: It's black.
Guest: Isn't it black? Isn't it black for curry? They're ignoring us.
[Words on screen: Ignore]
Nino: Shall I explain the dish to you? This is the sisters' infamous *Haraguro Curry. White sauce is graffiti sprayed all over it.
Guest: This isn't graffiti. Can you please take a shot of this? It isn't graffiti right?
Nino: They seem to be complaining.
Maid 2: What? You're noisy.
Ohno: I didn't say anything at all.
Maid 2: Hurry up and eat.
Sho: It's Haraguro curry right? It's really dark.
Aiba: What is that?
Ohno: It's delicious.
Guest: It's nice right? It's delicious.
Maid 1: Hey, just hurry up and eat it.
Guest: What is your name?
Maid 1: Why don't you know my name even though you're my brother?
[Words on screen: That sure is the case]
Nino: It's normal, it's ok. Just go with one of these. Just go with it. It's either one.
Guest: Hey Kyou...
Kyou: Yes?
Guest: I did it! That one is Kyou, so which means the other one remaining is Himari. Himari, that. Your spectacles are cute.
Himari: Your character is overlapping with mine. Can you take your spectacles off?
Sho: That's amazing right?
Nino: He's become a small uncle.
Sho: All of a sudden!
Guest: Hey, I don't normally take off my spectacles like this on TV ok?
Nino: Sorry, but it's about time for you to leave.
Himari: Eh? Are you going to leave already? Because I told you take your spectacles off, you got angry and that's why you're leaving?
Guest: No, no, I'm not angry at all.
Himari: Really? You're alright?
Guest: Alright, then, I guess we'll spend more time here.
Himari: You will?
Himari.Kyou: That's good.
Guest: What is with this?
[Words on screen: Tsundere]
Nino: Well, two of you, there's really no more time...
Guest: No more time? Ok, then...since there's no more time..
Ohno: We have to go...
Kyou: Why? Why? There's still more time...there's still time. Because I said weird things? Because I ignored you?
Guest: No..
Ohno: That kind of thing...don't you think it's a bit underhanded?
Nino: Just try going along with it.
Himari: I'm sorry brothers, I won't bully you anymore. We really don't hate you alright?
Kyou: We like you. We like you but we're just embarrassed, sorry.
Himari: Sorry.
Kyou: We'll be waiting for you, so please hurry back. Please have a safe trip!
Nino: How was that?
Guest: What was that? This...
Ohno: Because it was unexpected, we were surprised.
Guest: Yeah, I was surprised!
Nino: Right?
Guest: That was interesting.
Narrator: Next up, we have Akihabara's newest maid cafe. For his partner, we have a request for Aiba san. Please have a safe trip!
Aiba: Sorry Yashii for making you wait!
Guest: You're slow!
Nino: This time, we have the newest maid cafe in Akihabara. Well, anyway, let's just have you go in and enjoy this world.
Guest: Let's go!
Aiba: Ok.
Azusa.Ren: 1, 2. Welcome back, masters of the castle!
[Words on screen: Masters of the castle?]
Ogura: I see
Azusa: 2 masters returning back to the castle.
Ren: Welcome back. Please take your seat.
Guest: We have returned to the castle.
Nino: And here we have *Sengoku themed Maid Cafe Mononopu.
Guest: So for this, what kind of lords are we..?
Nino: Please decide on that setting yourself.
Guest: I see.
Nino: You are masters of the castle.
Ren: This will be your battle *don.
Guest: Battle don! Battle ranger!
Ren: For this don, in order to make it more delicious, we have to purge the evil energy from it.
Aiba: Evil energy??
[Words on screen: Evil energy]
Guest: Wait, wait, before that, so you're saying there is evil energy in this? Even though it's food, there is evil energy in it?
Aiba: What is this? What is this? There is evil energy in it?
Nino: Before it was brought here. Since this is a studio...
Guest: I see.
Azusa: In order to purge the evil energy from this, just the power of the both of us is not enough, so we will need the 2 masters of the castle to do it together with us. Is that alright?
Guest: That should be fine.
Aiba: Yes.
Azusa: We will say 1,2 at the end so please say "Ei!"
Ren: Now then.
Azusa/Ren: In the name of the castle of Takeda!
Azusa: Tenha!
Ren: Zessou!
Azusa/Ren: 1,2!
Aiba.Guest.Azusa.Ren: Ei!
Ren: Yes, that was perfect. Thank you so much.
Guest: So what's the base ingredient of this?
Azusa: This is made of pork and beef. With the image of *Sekigahara's-
Guest: The battle.
Azusa: -west and east army.
Guest: So which is the west and which is the east army?
Azusa: Erm, well, you could decide preferring on which one you like.
Guest: I see.
Aiba: Just roughly.
Guest: Roughly. Battle Ranger!
Ogura: Today is amazing right.
Sho: Yeah. All of them are maid cafes.
Guest: East army! Sorry, sorry. It was difficult to tell which was the correct answer right?
Aiba: *It's not bad.
Nino: What is this?
Masked man: Yashima!!
Guest: Yes?
Masked man: So you were here!
Azusa: We will protect the masters of the castle!
Masked man: I see!
Nino: That was dangerous!
Azusa: We have eliminated him, so please have your meal slowly.
Nino: Yashima san, that's all we have.
Azusa: The masters of the castle are going out to the battlefield. May the masters have good fortune in battle!
Ren: Good fortune in battle!
Guest: Send out the mounted soldiers!
Aiba: Yashii san, weren't we kind of floating up there?
[Words on screen: The setting..!]
Guest: This, this...
Nino: Btw. the platoon commander for this cafe is *Moeda Nopunaga.
Sho: Alright then Ogura san, let's move on to the next homework.
Ogura: Yashima san's image. What did he do last night?
Sho: Alright, this is a corner on the private life of the guest. Firstly, let's have the mail from MatsuJun.
Matsu: Ok! This is from Yashi san of Ibaraki prefecture.Yashima Norito san was looking at adult websites for one entire night last night.
Sho: Adult websites.
Aiba: Adult websites.
Nino: Adult websites.
Sho: So how was that?
Yashima: Last night right?
Sho: Last night.
Yashima: I didn't look at them last night.
Nino: Well, well, well.
Yashima: Well, I'm a guy, so there are chances for that right. But I have a wife and child, so I can't really look at them.
Sho: Well, Yashima san. It seems like there are things you collect. What are they?
Yashima: Well, I thought I'd show him my spectacles collection.
Sho: Spectacles collection? How many...?
Narrator: The spectacles that appeared in that drama also will be shown here. Furthermore, only Yashima san is super excited over an incomprehensible musician. Well, then, let's have a look at Yashima san's proud collection of spectacles.
Nino: Wa, wa, wa, this is amazing.
Matsu: Amazing!
[Words on screen: More than 100 pairs]
Sho: Are there ones that you use normally?
Yashima: Yes there are. This one I used when I stopped doing part time work, and thing started getting better. I used it in *"Furuhata Nin San Burou" and *"Boss". This was really put to good use during the first half of my career.
Nino: By having even that here, which means you have a really proper collection.
Yashima: Yes, yes, I have it, somehow. At the start, my image was often this colour.
Aiba: I've seen you with that.
Sho: Yes, we have, we have.
Aiba: Please show us something that is strange.
Yashima: Something strange? Well, I did comedy skits with this one. This makes me look like someone you will find in Akihabara.
Sho: Ah, it's a totally different image.
Yashima: And a reverse *Kent Derricott. My eyes become smaller.
Sho: With that, after looking at these spectacles, we will end here. That's all we have. How was it, Yashima san?
Yashima: Hey, wait, wai-
Sho: With that, today's guest wa-
Yashima: Wait! I don't really think there was any message from me. Spectacles is not so- don't touch it! Don't touch it. In the past, Gekidan Hitori san really wanted to have an idol introduced to him.
Sho: Yes, from Korea.
Matsu: Kara from Korea?
Yashima: There was right? Watching that, I, too, have one person that I want to be introduced to...
Matsu: No, this is not that type of program.
Nino: That's right.
Sho: Well, it's not our usual practice, but shall we go for a corner where we introduce friends?
Yashima: He's not a friend. He's an artist. An artist. I don't think anybody knows him.
Sho: But he's an artist who you're noticing at the moment?
Yashima: Yes.
Nino: What is good about him?
Yashima: He sings folk songs in this day and age.
[Words on screen: Folk singer]
Yashima: And his actual occupation is an actor. He's called Oohori Kouichi.
Sho: What kind of songs does he sing?
Yashima: Well, shall we listen to it? I prepared a *PV today.
{Words on screen: Armed with a PV]
Narrator: But after this, for some reason, Arashi's enthusiasm is sucked away. Who is the artist that he recommends?
Yashima: No matter what, I would like you to listen to it.
Narrator: Well then, please look at the PV which Yashima Norito san recommends.
[Words in the strip on screen: The artist that Yashima Norito forcibly recommends]
Singer: Amongst the two of us-
Yashima: The person in the middle ok? The person in the middle!
Singer: -there is a robber.
Amongst the two of us there is a robber.
(Ohno: This is rude right?)
After you left, there were things that went missing.
The watch I received from my father.
The denim wallet I bought from *Ame Yoko.
The insurance in the drawer.
(Nino: You're kidding right? This is not really something you go "eh?" over.)
The assam smelling 20,000yen that was meant for both of us, stacked in the red tea tin.
(Nino: That disappeared too fast right?)
Amongst the two of us there is a robber.
So you are a robber.
Yashima: Which means-
Aiba: What was with that song?
Yashima: -amongst the two of them, there was a robber. Everyone must be thinking these are a stupid boy and girl right? But after this, the lyrics continues. After you left, there were things that disappeared.
[Words on screen: Enthusiastic speech]
Yashima: The front door of the house. There are a few types. But at the very last, "the smile which you praised me for-
[Words on screen: Please listen...]
Yashima: -when we first met." is the last line. Which means as he was singing, he wasn't smiling at all. That kind of sad, even though the guy knew it, even such a bad couple is living and going through their lives in this world. That is fantastic! No matter what, I definitely want the young generation to listen to this song! At the bottom of humanity, the new step you find there, won't you step forward into it! With that, this was Yoshima Norito's shukudai kun. With guests, Arashi.
[Words on screen: After this, MatsuJun's strange chant]
Nino: Up until now, we've never had the audience go "eh" to this extent.
Narrator: The excellent student for this goes to Soubu line san from Tokyo who introduced us to the omelette rice with words on it. And we are accepting mail from viewers about what their image of what "Fruit Punch" did last night. Please send a lot in!
Miyaha: Moe moe!
Matsu.Yashima: Moe moe!
Robin: Kyun Kyun!
Matsu.Yashima: Kyun Kyun!
*black - without adding anything
*Tsundere - A violent and angry character who is actually sweet on the inside (think Akira of Lucky star)
*Haraguro - evil, dark spirited
*Sengoku - Warring States Period
*don - bowl of rice with toppings
*Battle of Sekigahara: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Battle_of_Sekigahara
*"This is not bad" - Aiba uses a term used in the Edo period
*Moeda Nopunaga is a rip-off of Oda Nobunaga
*"Furuhata Nin San Burou" - drama
*"Boss" - commercial
*Kent Derricott - An american entertainer in Japan
*PV - promotional video, MTV
*Ame Yoko - Shopping street in Tokyo
Edit: For those who were wondering, please feel free to use my translation for subbing, but please do give me the link when you're done so I can look at it. Thanks! ^_^
Edit2: Much apologies to those who left comments in the previous post. I accidentally deleted the post >_< Thanks for all your nice comments though, they remain preserved in my mailbox. xD
Sakurai: Alright, and here we have tonight's guest. Let's take a look at this. A cheerful talkative person who wears spectacles. There are quite a few people who wear spectacles and appear on TV right?
Aiba: There are quite a lot right?
Sakurai: He sticks out as someone who is cheerful and talkative and wears spectacles on TV right?
Ogura: Is this like MatsuJun too?
Sakurai: He is jealous of Ninomiya.
Nino: Wa, wa, wa!
Sakurai: He's in the midst of jealousy. So MatsuJun has all the points here.
Nino: So shall we just have Jun kun as the guest?
Sakurai: So let's really do that then.
Aiba: Let's do it.
Matsu: He's being violent. He's being violent!
Nino: Ok, ok, let's open it. Let's open it.
Sakurai: Alright, with that, presenting today's guest.
Guest: I am not Tamori! This is lonely.
Sakurai: You are too cheerful.
Guest: Cheerful? On the contrary, I am getting darker and darker by the minute. What do you mean you're fine with Matsu Jun?
Sakurai: Well, he has all the points...
Nino(?): And he looks like you...
Guest: What's with this atmosphere?
Maids: Welcome back, Master!
Guest: I'm back!
Narrator: Tonight good-tempered Yashima san and a bad-tempered Matsu Jun will be *moe at a maid's cafe! On top of that, Yashima san is the only one excited over an incomprehensible musician! AnS will start shortly after this!
Sakurai: Once again, our guest today is Yashima Norito san! Please take care of us!
Guest: I'm telling you again, I'm not Tamori!
Sakurai: Yashima san has appeared with us on several occasions in variety programs, but is there any member which you have met in your own time?
Guest: Well, the two of us being "spectacles friends"...we've met at Shun's house right? I have a feeling we did...
Matsu: Yeah, I have a feeling we did...
Nino: Sorry, who is Shun?
Guest: Shun? Oguri Shun.
Matsu: What's with that look of self satisfaction?
Guest: Oguri Shun.
Sakurai: Are you close with Oguri Shun?
Guest: Well, we acted in a drama together, and there was a time, when most of my mail was from Oguri Shun. It was like Oguri Shun, Oguri Shun, Wife, Oguri Shun, Oguri Shun...
Sakurai: So, did it feel like you were always together?
Guest: Yes, we did a lot of things together like buying stuff together...when we were visiting each other's house, with Shun...
Matsu: Yeah, when there were 3 people...
Guest: Yes, it felt like you were there.
Matsu: Yes, I, too, have a feeling that we were together.
Nino: Hey, sorry, but...
Sakurai: Why is it so ambiguous?
Guest: Because the both of us happened to not be wearing spectacles. We couldn't see. Ninomiya san is close to Nakahashi Kazumi san.
Nino: Yes.
Guest: And because I'm often with Nakahashi san, the 3 of us went drinking at a Soba place right?
Nino: Yes, yes.
Guest: I said that I'm jealous of Ninomiya san...I'm been with Takahashi san for a very long time, we're often told that we're a combination, and even at the agency, we have a direct Senpai-Kouhai relationship. As a Kouhai, I thought my skills at controlling Takahashi san was number 1 in the world. And then, this person. *He can control Takahashi san to his whim and will.
Sakurai: Because of that?
Matsu: So you're jealous because of that.
Guest: Because I'm his direct junior, I can't say something like "Hey, baldie!" right?
Sakurai: There's a line you cannot cross.
Guest: Yes, a line. But this guy, just went ahead and crossed the line like this.
Aiba: So you can't cross that line with Takahashi san?
Guest: Everytime I try to cross the line, Takahashi san will say, "Haha, Oi!"
Nino: Scary, scary!
Aiba: Scary!
Sakurai: Because you have a Senpai-Kouhai relationship.
Guest: And a few months later, he said to me, "You were too much at that time." Because there was an incident like that, I really wonder if I were in Arashi...
Sakurai: He would like you more. Alright, so we'll move on to the first Shukudai. Please!
Ogura: A Shukudai from the guest to the viewers. Searching and suggesting Moe moe food from an ideal maid cafe.
Sakurai: The viewers don't seem to receive this too well.
Guest: Then you can just go home! It's fine even if you go home.
Narrator: Let's have such a Yashima san fully enjoy the experience of a maid cafe. Nino who's a regular patron of Akiba, if you would do the honours!
Nino: Well, first up!
Guest: What's with that "Well!"
Nino: Let's raise your tension!
Guest: Ok, please!
Nino: Already, a secret garden...
Guest: Is there?
Nino: When you open the door...even though it's an orthodox cafe, you're looking forward to it right?
Guest: Yes, firstly. Firstly.
Nino: But I think you'll be lonely by yourself.
Guest: Yes, lonely. It's dangerous if I go by myself right?
Nino: Yes. That's right, so it's alright if you could pick a partner.
Guest: Alright then, my spectacles rival.
Nino: A request for Matsumoto san!
Matsu: I'm sorry for making you wait!
Nino: So two for today?
Guest: You were so slow. Slow!
Matsu: Sorry, sorry.
Nino: So, is it alright with just the two of you today?
Guest: Yes.
Nino: So two people?
Matsu: Yes, two people.
Guest: Yes.
Nino: Ok, ok, wait, please don't get so excited.
Matsu: Can we take pictures?
Nino: Yes, yes, but please don't get so excited. Please go in.
Matsu: We're going.
Guest: Shall we go?
Matsu: Shall we go? We're going.
Nino: Please enjoy yourself.
Maids: Welcome home master!
Guest: I'm home!
Maids: Please sit down!
Guest: Wait a minute, wait, my face is really showing my happiness right?
Nino: Here we have Akihabara's Maid Cafe Pinafore's Miyaha san and Ribon san.
Ribon: I'm ribon.
Guest: You're ribon.
Ribon: Yes, thanks!
Nino: Alright, so if we could have the food!
Miyaha: Alright, understood!
Ribon: Understood!
Miyaha: I'm sorry for the long wait master! This is the omelette rice that Pinafore's fairy has made.
Guest: A fairy has?
Matsu: Who, who?
Miyaha: Yes! A fairy has made it! Here, you have coffee and omelette rice, but we have more!
Ribon: For this, I will pour the gum syrup and milk for you. When it's just about right, please say Chuki!
Guest: Chuki.
Ribon: With Chuki, I will stop. So if you would please. Alright the, please pardon me.
Guest: Chuki!
Ribon: Thanks! Then with the milk, if you could please add my name and say "Robin chan Chuki"
Guest: With your name? Ok.
Ribon: Alright, please pardon me.
Guest: Robin chan Chuki
Ribon: Because it makes me happy, if you could please say it one more time!
Guest: Robin chan Chuki! It's going to flow over, it's going to flow over!
Robin: Thanks!
Nino: If you could please do the same for the master beside him as well!
Robin: Alright, for this side then, instead of stop, if you could please say "Nyan Nyan" If you could be a cat...
Matsu: I'll just have it *black.
Nino: Don't treat her lightly.
Robin: Then, please pardon me.
[Words on screen: Coercion]
Nino: Oh! She's already started.
Matsu: Wait, wait!
Robin: Please pardon me.
Matsu: Nyan, nyan, nyan!!
Guest: The action, the action!
Matsu: Nyan, nyan, nyan!!
Robin: Ok, thanks!
Matsu: Isn't this too sweet?? Even though I said I wanted it black!
Guest: Look, the bottom is completely transparent!
Nino: Don't complain!
Ribon: This is one of the standards to Moe! Next, if we could have you say "Babu babu"
[Words on screen: Please follow the rules]
Guest: Isn't yours super good?? To be able to say "Babu babu"!
Robin: Please be a baby! Then, please pardon me!
Matsu: Babu Babu!
Robin: Please say it again!
Matsu: Babu Babu!
Guest: Hey, isn't that scary!
Nino: You're scary! Sorry, Robin chan.
Miyaha: Ok, next, we will write words on the omelette in front of our masters.
Guest: Write words?
Miyaha: Do you have anything you'd like to have written?
Nino: Anything is fine.
Guest: Alright then, Yashi Moe.
Miyaha: Alright, Yashi Moe it is.
Matsu: I don't have any say in this.
Miyaha: I'm excited.
Guest: It's wobbly.
Miyaha: It's wobbly. I always get nervous, but for my masters' sakes...
Matsu: You're good at this.
Matsu: You're writing it in Kanji.
Guest: Ah! You're writing it in Kanji! You're good!
Nino: That's because she's written it several times before!
Matsu: You're good at this!
Miyaha: Ok, it's done.
Guest: Wow, that's amazing!
Miyaha: Sorry for making you wait!
Guest: So you won't feed us right?
Miyaha: Yes, we won't feed you. But we'll cheer you on!
Guest.Matsu: Cheer us on?
Nino: Ok, please support the both of them.
Miyaha.Ribon.Matsu: Go for it! Go for it!
Miyaha: You can definitely eat it!
Miyaha.Ribon.Matsu: Go for it! Go for it!
Guest: Wait, hang on a second. You tell me to "go for it" but I was the one who ordered this right?
Nino: The fairy did her best in making it, so we would also like for the person eating it to do his best.
Miyaha: Unlike normal food, this has magic in it.
Robin: Yes.
Miyaha: You'll go "Fuwa"~
Guest: There's no way I'll go "Fuwa".
Miyaha: Yes, you will, you will.
Nino: Please cheer him on.
Robin.Miyaha: Go for it! Go for it!
Miyaha: If it's master, you can go "Fuwa!"
Sakurai: It's magic. The magic has appeared.
Guest: It's delicious. It's delicious right?
Miyaha. Robin: Yes, it's delicious.
Guest: Wait, the pink master doesn't seem to want to do this.
Nino: If the two of you could please cheer on the pink master.
Miyaha.Robin: Pink Master, go for it! Go for it! Moe moe, pink! Go for it!
Guest: Go for it!
Robin: You'll probably go "Fuwa"
Aiba: Will he?
Robin: Yes, I think he will.
Matsu: This is delicious.
Nino: What a bad customer.
Miyaha: He is strong. His endurance level is high.
Guest: His level is high? By the way, my level is high too.
Nino: After eating, you can take a picture with the maids. What will you do?
Matsu: Let's take one. Let's take one.
Guest: Let's take one.
Miyaha: Our popular pose is making a heart shape with our masters.
Guest: Shall we do that?
Robin: Yes!
Miyaha: If we could have the masters do this together...
Matsu: Like this?
Mayashi: Yes.
Guest: Ah, a chain of hearts! A chain of hearts!
[Words on screen: A flaming chain of hearts]
Guest: Nino, here! A chain of hearts! It's formed like this. Thanks for today!
Nino: Sorry, but it's almost time...
Matsu: Eh? We're done?
Nino: Yes.
Guest: Ok, so I'm going home.
Miyaha.Robin: Ok. Please have a safe journey masters.
Guest. Ok.
Matsu: How was it?
Guest: I liked Ribon Chan's "Yes, please". The voice was something I was looking forward to.
Nino: And next we have...erm...if you ask me to recommend...well...
Guest: A recommended partner?
Nino: Who is good?
Guest: Someone who seems like he'll have fun with me. Ohno kun.
Nino: Ohno san, there's a request for you!
Ohno: Hello! Please take care of me.
Guest: What's with that sudden change?
Ohno: NoI
Guest: Does it mean you're into it?
Ohno: It's just that it's my first time, so I'm excited.
Guest: Then, let's go!
Nino: So if you could go in without asking anything.
Guest: Eh?
Nino: Please go in!
Guest: Eh? Then does that mean it's different this time?
Nino: Yes.
Ohno.Guest: Hello!
Maid 1: What did you come here for?
Maid 2: Could you just hurry up and sit. Hurry up and sit. You're being a hindrance there.
Guest: Sorry.
Sho: What, what, what?
[Words on screen: Going home?]
Nino: Not yet!
Guest: You're being a hindrance so hurry up and enter. You're being a hindrance there, hurry up and sit.
Maid 2: Did you not hear us? Hurry and sit.
[Words on screen: The menu and hot towels are...!]
Maid 2: Hurry up and decided ok?
Nino: This is a *Tsudere cafe, Cafe Bar Nagomi.
Guest: This isn't calm at all right?
Nino: Yes, this is a "sister" type maid cafe.
Ohno: "Sister" type?
Maid 1: Hey, you're slow!
Guest: Sorry, sorry.
Maid 1: Anything is fine right?
Guest: Anything is fi-
Maid 1: Anything is fine.
Maid 2: Why can't you hurry up and decide?
Guest: We don't even get to choose?
Maid 2: It's not like I have to draw this cutely right?
Guest: Wait, wait, calm down for a while. Calm down for a while. Firstly, what is this?
Maid 2: You can't tell by looking at it? It's curry right?
Guest: I see. But it's black.
Ohno: It's black.
Guest: Isn't it black? Isn't it black for curry? They're ignoring us.
[Words on screen: Ignore]
Nino: Shall I explain the dish to you? This is the sisters' infamous *Haraguro Curry. White sauce is graffiti sprayed all over it.
Guest: This isn't graffiti. Can you please take a shot of this? It isn't graffiti right?
Nino: They seem to be complaining.
Maid 2: What? You're noisy.
Ohno: I didn't say anything at all.
Maid 2: Hurry up and eat.
Sho: It's Haraguro curry right? It's really dark.
Aiba: What is that?
Ohno: It's delicious.
Guest: It's nice right? It's delicious.
Maid 1: Hey, just hurry up and eat it.
Guest: What is your name?
Maid 1: Why don't you know my name even though you're my brother?
[Words on screen: That sure is the case]
Nino: It's normal, it's ok. Just go with one of these. Just go with it. It's either one.
Guest: Hey Kyou...
Kyou: Yes?
Guest: I did it! That one is Kyou, so which means the other one remaining is Himari. Himari, that. Your spectacles are cute.
Himari: Your character is overlapping with mine. Can you take your spectacles off?
Sho: That's amazing right?
Nino: He's become a small uncle.
Sho: All of a sudden!
Guest: Hey, I don't normally take off my spectacles like this on TV ok?
Nino: Sorry, but it's about time for you to leave.
Himari: Eh? Are you going to leave already? Because I told you take your spectacles off, you got angry and that's why you're leaving?
Guest: No, no, I'm not angry at all.
Himari: Really? You're alright?
Guest: Alright, then, I guess we'll spend more time here.
Himari: You will?
Himari.Kyou: That's good.
Guest: What is with this?
[Words on screen: Tsundere]
Nino: Well, two of you, there's really no more time...
Guest: No more time? Ok, then...since there's no more time..
Ohno: We have to go...
Kyou: Why? Why? There's still more time...there's still time. Because I said weird things? Because I ignored you?
Guest: No..
Ohno: That kind of thing...don't you think it's a bit underhanded?
Nino: Just try going along with it.
Himari: I'm sorry brothers, I won't bully you anymore. We really don't hate you alright?
Kyou: We like you. We like you but we're just embarrassed, sorry.
Himari: Sorry.
Kyou: We'll be waiting for you, so please hurry back. Please have a safe trip!
Nino: How was that?
Guest: What was that? This...
Ohno: Because it was unexpected, we were surprised.
Guest: Yeah, I was surprised!
Nino: Right?
Guest: That was interesting.
Narrator: Next up, we have Akihabara's newest maid cafe. For his partner, we have a request for Aiba san. Please have a safe trip!
Aiba: Sorry Yashii for making you wait!
Guest: You're slow!
Nino: This time, we have the newest maid cafe in Akihabara. Well, anyway, let's just have you go in and enjoy this world.
Guest: Let's go!
Aiba: Ok.
Azusa.Ren: 1, 2. Welcome back, masters of the castle!
[Words on screen: Masters of the castle?]
Ogura: I see
Azusa: 2 masters returning back to the castle.
Ren: Welcome back. Please take your seat.
Guest: We have returned to the castle.
Nino: And here we have *Sengoku themed Maid Cafe Mononopu.
Guest: So for this, what kind of lords are we..?
Nino: Please decide on that setting yourself.
Guest: I see.
Nino: You are masters of the castle.
Ren: This will be your battle *don.
Guest: Battle don! Battle ranger!
Ren: For this don, in order to make it more delicious, we have to purge the evil energy from it.
Aiba: Evil energy??
[Words on screen: Evil energy]
Guest: Wait, wait, before that, so you're saying there is evil energy in this? Even though it's food, there is evil energy in it?
Aiba: What is this? What is this? There is evil energy in it?
Nino: Before it was brought here. Since this is a studio...
Guest: I see.
Azusa: In order to purge the evil energy from this, just the power of the both of us is not enough, so we will need the 2 masters of the castle to do it together with us. Is that alright?
Guest: That should be fine.
Aiba: Yes.
Azusa: We will say 1,2 at the end so please say "Ei!"
Ren: Now then.
Azusa/Ren: In the name of the castle of Takeda!
Azusa: Tenha!
Ren: Zessou!
Azusa/Ren: 1,2!
Aiba.Guest.Azusa.Ren: Ei!
Ren: Yes, that was perfect. Thank you so much.
Guest: So what's the base ingredient of this?
Azusa: This is made of pork and beef. With the image of *Sekigahara's-
Guest: The battle.
Azusa: -west and east army.
Guest: So which is the west and which is the east army?
Azusa: Erm, well, you could decide preferring on which one you like.
Guest: I see.
Aiba: Just roughly.
Guest: Roughly. Battle Ranger!
Ogura: Today is amazing right.
Sho: Yeah. All of them are maid cafes.
Guest: East army! Sorry, sorry. It was difficult to tell which was the correct answer right?
Aiba: *It's not bad.
Nino: What is this?
Masked man: Yashima!!
Guest: Yes?
Masked man: So you were here!
Azusa: We will protect the masters of the castle!
Masked man: I see!
Nino: That was dangerous!
Azusa: We have eliminated him, so please have your meal slowly.
Nino: Yashima san, that's all we have.
Azusa: The masters of the castle are going out to the battlefield. May the masters have good fortune in battle!
Ren: Good fortune in battle!
Guest: Send out the mounted soldiers!
Aiba: Yashii san, weren't we kind of floating up there?
[Words on screen: The setting..!]
Guest: This, this...
Nino: Btw. the platoon commander for this cafe is *Moeda Nopunaga.
Sho: Alright then Ogura san, let's move on to the next homework.
Ogura: Yashima san's image. What did he do last night?
Sho: Alright, this is a corner on the private life of the guest. Firstly, let's have the mail from MatsuJun.
Matsu: Ok! This is from Yashi san of Ibaraki prefecture.Yashima Norito san was looking at adult websites for one entire night last night.
Sho: Adult websites.
Aiba: Adult websites.
Nino: Adult websites.
Sho: So how was that?
Yashima: Last night right?
Sho: Last night.
Yashima: I didn't look at them last night.
Nino: Well, well, well.
Yashima: Well, I'm a guy, so there are chances for that right. But I have a wife and child, so I can't really look at them.
Sho: Well, Yashima san. It seems like there are things you collect. What are they?
Yashima: Well, I thought I'd show him my spectacles collection.
Sho: Spectacles collection? How many...?
Narrator: The spectacles that appeared in that drama also will be shown here. Furthermore, only Yashima san is super excited over an incomprehensible musician. Well, then, let's have a look at Yashima san's proud collection of spectacles.
Nino: Wa, wa, wa, this is amazing.
Matsu: Amazing!
[Words on screen: More than 100 pairs]
Sho: Are there ones that you use normally?
Yashima: Yes there are. This one I used when I stopped doing part time work, and thing started getting better. I used it in *"Furuhata Nin San Burou" and *"Boss". This was really put to good use during the first half of my career.
Nino: By having even that here, which means you have a really proper collection.
Yashima: Yes, yes, I have it, somehow. At the start, my image was often this colour.
Aiba: I've seen you with that.
Sho: Yes, we have, we have.
Aiba: Please show us something that is strange.
Yashima: Something strange? Well, I did comedy skits with this one. This makes me look like someone you will find in Akihabara.
Sho: Ah, it's a totally different image.
Yashima: And a reverse *Kent Derricott. My eyes become smaller.
Sho: With that, after looking at these spectacles, we will end here. That's all we have. How was it, Yashima san?
Yashima: Hey, wait, wai-
Sho: With that, today's guest wa-
Yashima: Wait! I don't really think there was any message from me. Spectacles is not so- don't touch it! Don't touch it. In the past, Gekidan Hitori san really wanted to have an idol introduced to him.
Sho: Yes, from Korea.
Matsu: Kara from Korea?
Yashima: There was right? Watching that, I, too, have one person that I want to be introduced to...
Matsu: No, this is not that type of program.
Nino: That's right.
Sho: Well, it's not our usual practice, but shall we go for a corner where we introduce friends?
Yashima: He's not a friend. He's an artist. An artist. I don't think anybody knows him.
Sho: But he's an artist who you're noticing at the moment?
Yashima: Yes.
Nino: What is good about him?
Yashima: He sings folk songs in this day and age.
[Words on screen: Folk singer]
Yashima: And his actual occupation is an actor. He's called Oohori Kouichi.
Sho: What kind of songs does he sing?
Yashima: Well, shall we listen to it? I prepared a *PV today.
{Words on screen: Armed with a PV]
Narrator: But after this, for some reason, Arashi's enthusiasm is sucked away. Who is the artist that he recommends?
Yashima: No matter what, I would like you to listen to it.
Narrator: Well then, please look at the PV which Yashima Norito san recommends.
[Words in the strip on screen: The artist that Yashima Norito forcibly recommends]
Singer: Amongst the two of us-
Yashima: The person in the middle ok? The person in the middle!
Singer: -there is a robber.
Amongst the two of us there is a robber.
(Ohno: This is rude right?)
After you left, there were things that went missing.
The watch I received from my father.
The denim wallet I bought from *Ame Yoko.
The insurance in the drawer.
(Nino: You're kidding right? This is not really something you go "eh?" over.)
The assam smelling 20,000yen that was meant for both of us, stacked in the red tea tin.
(Nino: That disappeared too fast right?)
Amongst the two of us there is a robber.
So you are a robber.
Yashima: Which means-
Aiba: What was with that song?
Yashima: -amongst the two of them, there was a robber. Everyone must be thinking these are a stupid boy and girl right? But after this, the lyrics continues. After you left, there were things that disappeared.
[Words on screen: Enthusiastic speech]
Yashima: The front door of the house. There are a few types. But at the very last, "the smile which you praised me for-
[Words on screen: Please listen...]
Yashima: -when we first met." is the last line. Which means as he was singing, he wasn't smiling at all. That kind of sad, even though the guy knew it, even such a bad couple is living and going through their lives in this world. That is fantastic! No matter what, I definitely want the young generation to listen to this song! At the bottom of humanity, the new step you find there, won't you step forward into it! With that, this was Yoshima Norito's shukudai kun. With guests, Arashi.
[Words on screen: After this, MatsuJun's strange chant]
Nino: Up until now, we've never had the audience go "eh" to this extent.
Narrator: The excellent student for this goes to Soubu line san from Tokyo who introduced us to the omelette rice with words on it. And we are accepting mail from viewers about what their image of what "Fruit Punch" did last night. Please send a lot in!
Miyaha: Moe moe!
Matsu.Yashima: Moe moe!
Robin: Kyun Kyun!
Matsu.Yashima: Kyun Kyun!
*black - without adding anything
*Tsundere - A violent and angry character who is actually sweet on the inside (think Akira of Lucky star)
*Haraguro - evil, dark spirited
*Sengoku - Warring States Period
*don - bowl of rice with toppings
*Battle of Sekigahara: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Battle_of_Sekigahara
*"This is not bad" - Aiba uses a term used in the Edo period
*Moeda Nopunaga is a rip-off of Oda Nobunaga
*"Furuhata Nin San Burou" - drama
*"Boss" - commercial
*Kent Derricott - An american entertainer in Japan
*PV - promotional video, MTV
*Ame Yoko - Shopping street in Tokyo
Edit: For those who were wondering, please feel free to use my translation for subbing, but please do give me the link when you're done so I can look at it. Thanks! ^_^
Edit2: Much apologies to those who left comments in the previous post. I accidentally deleted the post >_< Thanks for all your nice comments though, they remain preserved in my mailbox. xD