Oneshot_08
Who Knew
Pairing: NishiKato
Summary: Ryo kills himself and Shige can't believe it, "you said 'forever'"
Raiting: erm..PG?
Warning: boyxboy relationship, au, deathfic
Word count: 1949
Note: song fic, Who Knew by Pink, man i love this song...
He thought back to that day. They had gone to the fair that was in town that week. He thought that they had been having fun. He thought that they were happy and thought that they would be together for a long time.
Ryo grabbed onto Shige’s hand as they entered the fair ground, “I wouldn’t want you to get lost now would I?” he smiled down at Shige and Shige smiled back. “Let’s have fun today, okay?” he leant up slightly and kissed him on the lips before allowing himself to be dragged off to their first ride of the day. They were in their seats as it began to spin faster and faster and Shige held onto Ryo’s arm as his eyes lit up with excitement. Ryo held onto him reassuringly and allowed his free hand to be placed over Shige's in a way that gestured that he would be there for him. They got off the ride and Shige pretended to be dizzy walking in curved lines and pretending to be unable to walk straight, he bumped into Ryo who wrapped his arms around Shige's waist to hold him tight as he laughed and whispered in his ear, “Aishiteru, Shige” Ryo leaned forward and kissed Shige on his nose, pink from cold.
You took my hand
You showed me how
You promised me you'd be around
Uh huh
That's right
I took your words
And I believed
In everything
You said to me
Yeah huh
That's right
“Aww, you guys are so cute together” Koyama said one day to Shige after Ryo had left the group and the two had kissed each other sweetly on the lips, parting with such pure loving smiles on their faces. If Shige had been a girl, he would have let out a small giggle in agreement, but he wasn’t so he settled for an agreeing smile and a nod.
“Enjoy it Shige.” Koyama said with the tiniest hint of sadness in his voice, “you never know when it might end.”
“What are you talking about?”
“Ryo could be gone in a few… years; - did you think about what you are doing after graduation?” Koyama had seemed kind of suspicious in the way that he was picking his words and adding things to the end of his sentences as if to make it clear what he was talking about rather than letting us make assumptions. But maybe he was trying to cover up what he really meant. Shige had found out not too long afterwards what he had meant. But at the time, he didn’t think anything of his words. He just thought that he was implying that he and Ryo wouldn’t last until graduation or wouldn’t be able to last a long distance relationship if that was what it came too.
“Me and Ryo love each other. He said ‘forever’. It’s more than anything a girl has ever said to you Koyama.”
“Calm down Shige. Koyama is just trying to look out for you.”
“I don’t care! You wouldn’t even know him if I didn’t know him. I know better!”
If someone said three years from now
You'd be long gone
I'd stand up and punch them out
Cause they're all wrong
I know better
Cause you said forever
And ever
Who knew
Shige cried thinking about how complete he felt when Ryo had his arms around him. He longed for him to hold him again and whisper in his ear. He wanted it back. He wanted everything back. The times that they kissed, the times they held each other, their dates and the times they had hot passionate sex. He wanted to feel Ryo fill him and make him feel bliss. He cried on his bed and soon his sadness turned to anger. If the two of them had just been friends then maybe this wouldn’t have hurt so much. If Ryo was planning on doing this anyway, then maybe he wouldn’t have felt so responsible. But either way, he and Ryo weren’t friends, they had been so much more than friends and Shige resented that at that moment because maybe if they had been just friends then this might not have happened, or he wouldn’t be hurting this much.
Remember when we were such fools
And so convinced and just too cool
Oh no
No no
I wish I could touch you again
I wish I could still call you friend
I'd give anything
Shige hadn’t seen it. But Koyama had. Koyama saw something dangerous in Ryo when he had last seen him. Something that he didn’t like. He saw him in a classroom on his own sitting at his desk. He watched as he searched his desk for something and came out with a blade. He examined the blade for a while, twiddling it between his fingers. His intentions were clear and Koyama couldn’t help but think that this couldn’t be the first time. But before Ryo could carry out his mission, Shige walked through the door and he slipped the blade in a pocket.
“Hey love, what are you doing here?” Shige asked.
“Just thinking is all” Ryo smiled at Shige and suddenly Koyama could see how fake it was. But Shige smiled back oblivious and approached his boyfriend. He wrapped his arms around Ryo’s neck and leant down to kiss him. Ryo put his arms around Shige’s waist and pulled him into his lap where they continued to kiss.
Koyama still couldn’t help but think how happy and in love they seemed. But surely if Ryo loved Shige then he wouldn’t be hurting himself. But Koyama knew nothing about him and decided to try to not think about it too much. And definitely not tell Shige. He wouldn’t believe him even if he did tell him.
“Ryo,” he heard Shige say.
“Hmm?”
“Do you love me?”
“More than you know” he kissed Shige again.
“Forever?”
“Even after death”
When someone said count your blessings now
'fore they're long gone
I guess I just didn't know how
I was all wrong
They knew better
Still you said forever
And ever
Who knew
Shige wanted to remember him. Everything about him. His scent, his features, every memory that they had together. He wanted to keep them all with him and lock them up so that he could see them and remember them whenever he wanted. He remembered back to his last day with him. It was when they were at the fair. What a way to say good bye…
Shige came out of the toilets and looked around for Ryo. He wasn’t there but he had been when Shige went in. Maybe he had gone to get something to eat? Shige did another look round but couldn’t see him. He gave him a ring with his mobile.
“Ryo? Where’d you go?”
“I went for a little walk”
“Well, where are you and I’ll come to you.”
Ryo gave Shige his location, “… don’t be too long now.” There was a pause, “I love you”
“Yeah yeah, I love you too, but you know, if you love me so much you could have waited for me”
Ryo gave a weak chuckle from his end of the phone. Something about it seemed wrong to Shige. It seemed quiet but that could have just been because of the other people around them. They hung up and Shige went to meet Ryo.
Yeah yeah
I'll keep you locked in my head
Until we meet again
Until we
Until we meet again
And I won't forget you my friend
What happened
When Shige got there, he couldn’t believe what he was seeing. Ryo was sitting around the back of a ride that wasn’t being used. He sat against the metal frame work looking nearly asleep. He looked scarily pale in what light reached back there and something about his position made Shige rush up to him. When he was there, he saw Ryo’s wrist cut open many times, his hand completely covered in the blood that had seeped through the cuts. He froze and fell to his knees.
“wh-what the…” he trailed off when Ryo realised he was there and lifted his head to see him.
He smiled.
“w-why are you smiling?!” Shige was shaking with fear, anger, and shock.
“I didn’t want you to see me like this. I wanted to just leave on my own quietly somewhere. But - when you called, I couldn’t stop myself from telling you where I was. I even wanted you to be here - quickly.”
“I - I’ll get some help.” Shige started to get up but Ryo grabbed his wrist.
“No. d-don’t. I don’t want to be helped.”
“But you’ll DIE!!” tears were falling down Shige's face as he fell back to the ground and got closer to Ryo. He was gripping onto Ryo’s unharmed arm by the wrist and hand and held it close to his mouth and kissed it.
Ryo smiled a small, weak but genuine smile, “I love you, Shige”
“Then what’s this?!”
“Do you love me Shige?”
“O-of course! Did you ever think otherwise?! If I didn’t say it enough and you thought I - I didn’t, I’m sorry! I do! I love you so much! So SO much!”
“I know you do. I just love hea - hearing you say it. It makes me happy”
Shige had his forehead on Ryo’s shoulder crying his eyes out.
“Don’t do this Ryo! Don’t leave me! Please!”
“I’m sorry. I really didn’t want you to see me like this. But, can you kiss me? One last time?”
Ryo let one hand go of Ryo’s and placed it on Ryo’s cheek where he turned Ryo’s head slightly and pressed his lips to Ryo’s. His lips were cold and Shige let out a whimper against the coldness of them. He let go of Ryo’s hand completely and wrapped his arms around Ryo’s body. One hand held Ryo’s head up to keep their lips attached. He felt Ryo move his lips against Shige’s. They parted and Ryo whispered his last words, “we’ll meet again, my love”
Shige slept in his bed. He turned and snuggled further into the pillow he was hugging. When he wakes up the next day he will finally have enough of the pain he suffered for three years and take his life so that he can finally be with Ryo again. He still doesn’t know why Ryo took his life. All he knows is that three years has gone by and the pain hasn’t faded. But it hurts so much more when he tries to remember little things about Ryo and finds he can’t remember them. He’ll kill himself before he forgets Ryo completely. But for now, he is with Ryo in his sleep. They are in bed and Ryo is sitting up against the headrest while Shige is snuggling up to him. They occasionally kiss and Ryo is stroking Shige's hair gently.
Ryo begins to fade away slowly as Shige starts to wake up.
“Wait. Ryo! Don’t go! I don’t want to wake up! Come back! I miss you!!” the tears started pouring before he even woke up and they only got heavier once he was fully conscious.
If someone said three years from now
You'd be long gone
I'd stand up and punch them out
Cause they're all wrong and
That last kiss
I'll cherish
Until we meet again
And time makes
It harder
I wish I could remember
But I keep
Your memory
You visit me in my sleep
My darling
Who knew
My darling
My darling
Who knew
My darling
I miss you
My darling
Who knew
Who knew
-end-
Jw, anyone hear read fics on fanfiction.net? >__<
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