Subs: Nino-san S02E182 - 2017.07.16 (4 Kanji Descriptions cut)
I tried translating a part of the Nino-san episode from 2017.07.16 which was hilarious: Karen Takizawa describes people using four kanji characters, and then a new topic comes up.
Please let me know if I've made any mistakes! I couldn't find a complete transcript so I translated this by ear, which is not my strong suit.
Nino-san (S02E182 - 2017.07.16) 悶絶！自分クイズ (Fainting in agony! Self quiz) Part 2
Japanese transcript: arashi-transcripts (partial)
Raw is from chesutosakurai.
Hardsubs: stream/download on Google Drive (video is 87 MB, 5:32 minutes)
Raw and softsubs: MEGA (video is 68 MB, 5:32 minutes)
Here's a list (in Japanese) of four kanji descriptions Takizawa Karen has given. The list has quite a few comedians who have guested on an Arashi TV show, so you'll probably see some familiar faces!
[Rough translation of list:]Rough translation:
Page 1:
Bibiru Oki: "Chief of Patterns"
Sawabe Yu: "Manzai Monk"
Kato Koji: chief of morning efficiency (NTS: think of a better way to word this)
Akashiya Sanma: speaks an overwhelming number of words (NTS: think of a better way to word this)
Jinnai Tomonori: "Strikes Twice" (NTS: or "challenges twice"?)
Nakata Atsuhiko: explains his favourite food (NTS)
Blouson Chiemi: "All the rage for one year"
Nagano: Gets stimulated by himself (NTS)
Degawa Tetsuro: "Occupation: Pain"
Yabe Taro: Extremely small pencil (TN: no idea who this guy is or why Karen described him this way)
Sunshine Ikezaki: Voices hopes in a low voice (NTS)
Hisamoto Masami: Beautiful Futile Woman (NTS)
Ozawa Kazuhiro (Speed Wagon): A well of friendliness (NTS) (TN: He's in this episode of Nino-san. I used blue subtitles for him. He's the one who says at the end of the episode, "Press the button and answer.")
Fukuda Mitsunori (Tutorial): "Everything's Ordinary"
Tokui Yoshimi (Tutorial): "Original Metamorphosist"
Arita Teppei (Cream Stew): Triggering Explosive (NTS)
[Spoiler (Imada Koji - this is in the Nino-san cut)]
Imada Koji: Leader of Delinquent Bachelors" (in this Nino-san episode)
Higashino Koji: "King of Cold-heartedness"
Miyasako Hiroyuki: Knows he's handsome (NTS)
Watabe Ken (Unjash): "Overacts"
Kondo Haruna (Harisenbon): Large performance (NTS)
Yamazaki Hironari (Untouchtable): "Loudmouthed comedian" (TN: Mentioned in this episode)
Fujimoto Toshifumi (Fujiwara): "His face suddenly appears" (TN: Mentioned in this episode)
Miyagawa Daisuke: Single shriek (NTS) (TN: Unsure about this - haven't watched Miyagawa enough to know whether or not 'single' was the right meaning of 一筋)
Uchimura Teruyoshi (Ucchan Nanchan): "Representative of Peace"
Shofukutei Tsurube: "Lord of Leisure" (TN: Mentioned in this episode)
Tsuchida Teruyuki: First generation composure (NTS)
Page 2:
Kiritani Mirei: Cats, right in front of you (NTS: no idea)
Umezawa Tomio: Job is unclear (NTS)
Takahata Mitsuki: Eyes, nose and mouth are close (NTS)
Sakai Masato: Looks like the god of fishing and commerce (NTS)
Fukushi Sota: "Adolescent Actor"
Ayase Haruka: Whitest skin
Endo Kenichi: "Intense Existence"
[Spoiler (Azuma Mikihisa - Karen gives him this description in this episode)]
Azuma Mikihisa: "How dark-skinned." (TN: Mentioned in this episode)
Onoe Matsuya: Independent action
Nakai Masahiro (SMAP): Excellent direction
Domoto Koichi (KinKi Kids): Thoughts are unknown
Ohno Satoshi (Arashi): "Fisherman Guardian Deity"
Aiba Masaki (Arashi): Shedding idiocy (NTS)
Matsumoto Jun (Arashi): "I Am Matsumoto Jun"
Sakurai Sho (Arashi): Clothes go astray
[Spoiler (Nino - Karen gives him this description in this episode)]
Ninomiya Kazunari (Arashi): "Shut-in hobbyist"
Arioka Daiki (Hey! Say! JUMP): "Unexpectedly older"
Miura Asami: rice flesh rice flesh? (NTS: no idea)
Ryucheru: Where is his distination (NTS)
Ishihara Yoshizumi: Scolding railway (NTS: no idea)
Kuroyanagi Tetsuko: Fast-talking national treasure
Kazono Hiromi: Beloved-wife, carpenter (NTS: no idea)
[Spoiler (Ikko - Karen gives her this description in this episode)]
IKKO: "Beautiful monster"
Sekiguchi Mandy (Exile): "Lifetime dancer"
Suzuki Akie: "Eternal smile"
Tokushima Erika: "Visibly fatigued"
[Spoiler (screencaps and 4 kanji descriptions)]
Guests:
Takizawa Karen
Koyabu Kazutoyo
Shinohara Tomoe [she speaks really politely. I didn't really convey that in the translation]
Ozawa Kazuhiro
Ikko
Azuma Mikihisa
Four kanji descriptions:
Shofukutei Tsurube: 快楽名人（かいらくめいじん） = lord of leisure
Yamazaki Hironari (Zakiyama, from Untouchable): 大声芸人（おおごえげいにん） = loudmouthed comedian
Fujimoto Toshifumi (from the duo Fujiwara): 突如顔面（とつじょがんめん） = his face suddenly appears
Ikko: 美容怪獣（びようかいじゅう）= beautiful monster
Nino: 趣味在宅（しゅみざいたく）= shut-in hobbyist
Azuma Mikihisa: 何故色黒（なぜいろぐろ）= how dark-skinned
The photo's caption: "I like the times where I can be by myself vacantly."