A news article so horrible... it must be shared.
Today, as I was nomming my pre-mass snack and wandering around the kitchen, I happened to chance upon a newspaper article on my grandfather's desk. It was cleverly titled "Our Favourite Fantasy Films".
Uy, epic title. Must read when I get home. It ENSURES the lols.
I come home from mass, read the article and decide it's SO damn funny, I have to copy it to my LJ to share the lol. The mental image I get is that the entertainment section head needed an article stat and asked their five year old daughter to write something, QUICK and make it about movies!
As usual, my comments are in boldface.
Sometimes, we get so fed up with life's problems that we wish to just escape from it even just for a short while. At times, we sleep our problems away; we go traveling for soul searching Wait, wut?; and most often we turn to our friends and seek for their company. Semicolon overuse much? One entertaining way to have a quick break from our problems is through watching movies. How very essay... Here are some of the most loved fantasy films that will instantly zap you out of reality (Oh! don't forget to come back Behold, trying to be clever and failing.):
The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe: Join the Pevensie children and enter the worlds of Narnia through a wardrobe, which is a portal which is a closet, which is a bathroom, which is a door.. Their mission is to save Narnia from the evil white witch. Something about this sentence strikes me wrong. Sounds flat. This is your chance to get into the fantasy world, just a wardrobe away.
The Never Ending Story. Imagine a book that can get you involve in to its story As my beloved partner said... "I thought all books were supposed to do that?"; will that be an adventure worth taking or not? This movie is about a young boy who dares to read a book in spite of a warning from the librarian. I think it was a bookstore owner, not a librarian. Now, the characters from the book need the boy's help. Accompany Bastian as he tries to help out the characters from the book so that it can have a happy ending. REDUNDANCY FOR THE WIN! Question is: Will it ever end (considering the title of the book "Never Ending Story" Oh lol. I'm in stitches. Oh lol.)?
Harry Potter. Join the adventures and learning experiences of Harry Potter and his friends at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Learning experiences? I'm convinced this is someone's gradeschool essay. This J.K. Rowling creation became a phenomenon not only to kids but also to adults. If you are in for some wizardry and adventure, then Harry Potter is the one for you. ...bagay daw kami ni Daniel Radcliffe. Magpapakasal na kami.
Lord of the Rings. Allow Frodo and his friends to take you in a mystical journey as they search for a precious ring. As far as I remember, they HAD the ring and were trying to get rid of it. Be ready to face characters of different kinds, from good looking to monstrous faces. ...wut? We're gonna face everyone, from gorgeous people to ugly people! YAY! This J.R.R. Tolkien masterpiece became a blockbuster hit thus winning a lot of awards. Well OBVIOUSLY. It seems like there are many people who are up to these kinds of stories after all. Really now?
Alice in Wonderland. Alice's strange adventure begins when she follows a rushing white rabbit into a hole. Rushing... white... rabbit? Is this a good idea? Following anything into a hole usually isn't. Surprisingly, it is a portal to the Wonderland. This is your chance to enter the Wonderland with Alice. Makes you wonder, whom will you meet there? ...no words.
Hook. If you think you have outgrown Peter Pan, then consider watching "Hook" and be a kid once again. This movie is about an adult Peter who is forced to go back to Neverland and be "Peter Pan" again; because Hook, the hostile captain, kidnaps his children. Why is this in quotations? If you feel like being a kid again, then join Peter Pan as he tries to be "the boy who wouldn't grow up" once again.
Pirates of the Caribbean. Is this even considered fantasy? I always thought it was in the action genre. Anyway... Welcome aboard! Dare to join Captain Jack Sparrow and his crew as they sail away from one adventure to another. - from the curse of the black pearl to the world's end. Hm.. titles. So if you love the sea and you're brave enough to face fierce creatures then hop onboard at Captain Jack's ship.
Jumanji. An old board game comes back to haunt its previous players-the game must be finished. Seriously. WHY the dash. If you think this movie is just about playing, then think again. Jumanji will surely take you to a wild safari adventure of your life in a roll of a dice. WILD SAFARI ADVENTURE OF YOUR LIFE!
Wizard of Oz. Get into the cyclone Sounds like a tagline. and join Dorothy and her dog Toto as they are magically transported to the world of Oz. It is a beautiful place but it is inhabited by strange people and things. At the Oz, THE Oz. she meets and befriends the Scarecrow, the Tin man and the Lion. Will Dorothy be able to go back home/ Will you be able to keep up with the oddities in the Oz?
Belated Happy Halloween. HAVE SOME SCARY GRAMMAR!
Uy, epic title. Must read when I get home. It ENSURES the lols.
I come home from mass, read the article and decide it's SO damn funny, I have to copy it to my LJ to share the lol. The mental image I get is that the entertainment section head needed an article stat and asked their five year old daughter to write something, QUICK and make it about movies!
As usual, my comments are in boldface.
Sometimes, we get so fed up with life's problems that we wish to just escape from it even just for a short while. At times, we sleep our problems away; we go traveling for soul searching Wait, wut?; and most often we turn to our friends and seek for their company. Semicolon overuse much? One entertaining way to have a quick break from our problems is through watching movies. How very essay... Here are some of the most loved fantasy films that will instantly zap you out of reality (Oh! don't forget to come back Behold, trying to be clever and failing.):
The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe: Join the Pevensie children and enter the worlds of Narnia through a wardrobe, which is a portal which is a closet, which is a bathroom, which is a door.. Their mission is to save Narnia from the evil white witch. Something about this sentence strikes me wrong. Sounds flat. This is your chance to get into the fantasy world, just a wardrobe away.
The Never Ending Story. Imagine a book that can get you involve in to its story As my beloved partner said... "I thought all books were supposed to do that?"; will that be an adventure worth taking or not? This movie is about a young boy who dares to read a book in spite of a warning from the librarian. I think it was a bookstore owner, not a librarian. Now, the characters from the book need the boy's help. Accompany Bastian as he tries to help out the characters from the book so that it can have a happy ending. REDUNDANCY FOR THE WIN! Question is: Will it ever end (considering the title of the book "Never Ending Story" Oh lol. I'm in stitches. Oh lol.)?
Harry Potter. Join the adventures and learning experiences of Harry Potter and his friends at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Learning experiences? I'm convinced this is someone's gradeschool essay. This J.K. Rowling creation became a phenomenon not only to kids but also to adults. If you are in for some wizardry and adventure, then Harry Potter is the one for you. ...bagay daw kami ni Daniel Radcliffe. Magpapakasal na kami.
Lord of the Rings. Allow Frodo and his friends to take you in a mystical journey as they search for a precious ring. As far as I remember, they HAD the ring and were trying to get rid of it. Be ready to face characters of different kinds, from good looking to monstrous faces. ...wut? We're gonna face everyone, from gorgeous people to ugly people! YAY! This J.R.R. Tolkien masterpiece became a blockbuster hit thus winning a lot of awards. Well OBVIOUSLY. It seems like there are many people who are up to these kinds of stories after all. Really now?
Alice in Wonderland. Alice's strange adventure begins when she follows a rushing white rabbit into a hole. Rushing... white... rabbit? Is this a good idea? Following anything into a hole usually isn't. Surprisingly, it is a portal to the Wonderland. This is your chance to enter the Wonderland with Alice. Makes you wonder, whom will you meet there? ...no words.
Hook. If you think you have outgrown Peter Pan, then consider watching "Hook" and be a kid once again. This movie is about an adult Peter who is forced to go back to Neverland and be "Peter Pan" again; because Hook, the hostile captain, kidnaps his children. Why is this in quotations? If you feel like being a kid again, then join Peter Pan as he tries to be "the boy who wouldn't grow up" once again.
Pirates of the Caribbean. Is this even considered fantasy? I always thought it was in the action genre. Anyway... Welcome aboard! Dare to join Captain Jack Sparrow and his crew as they sail away from one adventure to another. - from the curse of the black pearl to the world's end. Hm.. titles. So if you love the sea and you're brave enough to face fierce creatures then hop onboard at Captain Jack's ship.
Jumanji. An old board game comes back to haunt its previous players-the game must be finished. Seriously. WHY the dash. If you think this movie is just about playing, then think again. Jumanji will surely take you to a wild safari adventure of your life in a roll of a dice. WILD SAFARI ADVENTURE OF YOUR LIFE!
Wizard of Oz. Get into the cyclone Sounds like a tagline. and join Dorothy and her dog Toto as they are magically transported to the world of Oz. It is a beautiful place but it is inhabited by strange people and things. At the Oz, THE Oz. she meets and befriends the Scarecrow, the Tin man and the Lion. Will Dorothy be able to go back home/ Will you be able to keep up with the oddities in the Oz?
Belated Happy Halloween. HAVE SOME SCARY GRAMMAR!