.. Oh wow. Where to even begin with this. It will be hard to keep this comment short, with all the incredible things you managed to accomplish with this. First off, huge credits for taking up an AU like this and turning it into something so amazing. This is not just a story about violence, about crime and sex and guns, everything you'd normally associate with the mafia, the yakuza. I love how you describe so thoroughly what the leader of such a criminal group is going through on his way to the top; how does it feel to control people, to kill people in order to obtain power and respect, how does it feel to risk dying every single day, because others want that power and the money, you have done horrible things in order to obtain. How does it feel to be in such a harsh, merciless world, where you are, essentially, always alone?
This is fanfiction, which means that you already have a handful of characters, who have a personality you'll have to stick to, no matter the AU you put them in, and I really have to say that you make it seem easy to maintain the personalities we know so well already, despite how different the setting is, how different their situation is compared to what it is in the real world. Jun, despite being a mafia/yakuza heir, is as emotional and sensitive as he is in real life, and I LOVE this story and you, for maintaining that trait of his, which I think, control very many of his actions. I love how you describe his desperate attempts at burying those emotions, that sensitivity, because his job, his life, requires that of him.
I love the details you include, the research you must have done in order to make this story believable; the anatomy terms, the various poisons, even small facts about what different gestures and names mean (like the Sakura). I love your characters; your smart, observant Nino, your forever kind and optimistic Aiba, your Ohno.. I love your Sho (damn, if I was not in love with him already...), how you had him waltzing around in a yukata all the time, how he plays the koto and makes flower arrangements. HIS TATTOO (oh god) and his tanned skin. Moreover, Jun's continuous comparison between Sho and the Storm God made for a very powerful way of describing his deepest emotions, what Sho did to him - adding the continuous clash of Jun's coldness and Sho's heat. It made those moments the two of them shared extremely powerful, leaving you only wanting to sink deeper into them, wishing for the two of them to be able to stay in those moments. Because they deserved each other.
Your attentiveness to detail in every single thing you write is what makes this such an enticing, lingering story. It is not just about the story, but about the characters who make up that story, the people who fight for their dreams and their futures. It is such a strong piece of writing, I have trouble describing what I felt while reading.
Just, yeah.. You have power when you write, power to hold onto people reading through your words - or at least you have a very firm hold on me, leaving me smiling in the darkness, even tearing up at times. I will definitely return to read this again, along with following you as you continue to evolve as a writer (as if that's even possible at this point.)
Jun was the legit star of this story; this wouldn’t have worked without him. I think he’s also responsible for the length of the thing.
Honestly, I wanted people to find the idea of tattooed!Sho hot (because my inspo was his back shot from his Anan) and also Sho in yukatas (had to watch a lot of videos of him wearing one so I thought 'I got to add this in, got to let people know what I endured for the sake of ~research~' LOL) so to know that they have that effect on a Sho girl really makes me happy.
Hah the anatomical terms plus the poisons, those were my med side kicking in (thank god I’m a pharmacist lmao; I didn’t have to look up the mechanisms of the toxins I chucked in) so there’s not a lot of research there. The research was mostly on the literary references since I knew nothing about them. :D
Thank you for this comment! I’m glad this was an engaging read for you. It’s a long fic, so I kind of doubted people would find the time to read it.
It will be hard to keep this comment short, with all the incredible things you managed to accomplish with this.
First off, huge credits for taking up an AU like this and turning it into something so amazing. This is not just a story about violence, about crime and sex and guns, everything you'd normally associate with the mafia, the yakuza. I love how you describe so thoroughly what the leader of such a criminal group is going through on his way to the top; how does it feel to control people, to kill people in order to obtain power and respect, how does it feel to risk dying every single day, because others want that power and the money, you have done horrible things in order to obtain.
How does it feel to be in such a harsh, merciless world, where you are, essentially, always alone?
This is fanfiction, which means that you already have a handful of characters, who have a personality you'll have to stick to, no matter the AU you put them in, and I really have to say that you make it seem easy to maintain the personalities we know so well already, despite how different the setting is, how different their situation is compared to what it is in the real world. Jun, despite being a mafia/yakuza heir, is as emotional and sensitive as he is in real life, and I LOVE this story and you, for maintaining that trait of his, which I think, control very many of his actions. I love how you describe his desperate attempts at burying those emotions, that sensitivity, because his job, his life, requires that of him.
I love the details you include, the research you must have done in order to make this story believable; the anatomy terms, the various poisons, even small facts about what different gestures and names mean (like the Sakura).
I love your characters; your smart, observant Nino, your forever kind and optimistic Aiba, your Ohno.. I love your Sho (damn, if I was not in love with him already...), how you had him waltzing around in a yukata all the time, how he plays the koto and makes flower arrangements. HIS TATTOO (oh god) and his tanned skin.
Moreover, Jun's continuous comparison between Sho and the Storm God made for a very powerful way of describing his deepest emotions, what Sho did to him - adding the continuous clash of Jun's coldness and Sho's heat. It made those moments the two of them shared extremely powerful, leaving you only wanting to sink deeper into them, wishing for the two of them to be able to stay in those moments. Because they deserved each other.
Your attentiveness to detail in every single thing you write is what makes this such an enticing, lingering story. It is not just about the story, but about the characters who make up that story, the people who fight for their dreams and their futures.
It is such a strong piece of writing, I have trouble describing what I felt while reading.
Just, yeah.. You have power when you write, power to hold onto people reading through your words - or at least you have a very firm hold on me, leaving me smiling in the darkness, even tearing up at times.
I will definitely return to read this again, along with following you as you continue to evolve as a writer (as if that's even possible at this point.)
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Honestly, I wanted people to find the idea of tattooed!Sho hot (because my inspo was his back shot from his Anan) and also Sho in yukatas (had to watch a lot of videos of him wearing one so I thought 'I got to add this in, got to let people know what I endured for the sake of ~research~' LOL) so to know that they have that effect on a Sho girl really makes me happy.
Hah the anatomical terms plus the poisons, those were my med side kicking in (thank god I’m a pharmacist lmao; I didn’t have to look up the mechanisms of the toxins I chucked in) so there’s not a lot of research there. The research was mostly on the literary references since I knew nothing about them. :D
Thank you for this comment! I’m glad this was an engaging read for you. It’s a long fic, so I kind of doubted people would find the time to read it.
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