(no subject)
thank you derek for getting me started on all of this.
i'm incredibly jealous of the people who already know where they're going to school. and what they're doing for the rest of their lives. there's miles, who's going oberlin with scholarship to play the piano, and that's all he's going to do for the rest of his life. and there's meeghan, who's going to seattle u on scholarship for running and merit, and she knows that she wants to be a social worker. and there's abbey who's going there too but doesn't know what she wants to do. it's just so frustrating that i have to keep waiting and waiting and waiting.
part of me is terrified of going as far away as boston. i'd only be able to come home like once a year, which was something that makes me sad to think about. but miless' mom said that they'd come spend thanksgiving on the east coast with me if i go to boston. then there's part of me that is scared of staying as close to home as seattle. i mean, it's not THAT close. but still. i feel ike college is the time to go out and try something totally different, and i feel like seattle is just a lot like portland. also, why haven't i heard about merit scholarhsip from seattle? it makes me frustrated and upset every time i realize that i still haven't heard. and then there's a huge part of me that's just sad that miles is going to oberlin, and not even considering boston anymore. this is osmething that i have so much trouble admitting, but i loved imagining us going to college together on the east coast, different schools in a big city or maybe even two big cities. it was just a nice idea.
i wish life was settled and i wish i didn't work myself up to tears over this every night. i wish college didn't only depend on money the way it does.
i'm incredibly jealous of the people who already know where they're going to school. and what they're doing for the rest of their lives. there's miles, who's going oberlin with scholarship to play the piano, and that's all he's going to do for the rest of his life. and there's meeghan, who's going to seattle u on scholarship for running and merit, and she knows that she wants to be a social worker. and there's abbey who's going there too but doesn't know what she wants to do. it's just so frustrating that i have to keep waiting and waiting and waiting.
part of me is terrified of going as far away as boston. i'd only be able to come home like once a year, which was something that makes me sad to think about. but miless' mom said that they'd come spend thanksgiving on the east coast with me if i go to boston. then there's part of me that is scared of staying as close to home as seattle. i mean, it's not THAT close. but still. i feel ike college is the time to go out and try something totally different, and i feel like seattle is just a lot like portland. also, why haven't i heard about merit scholarhsip from seattle? it makes me frustrated and upset every time i realize that i still haven't heard. and then there's a huge part of me that's just sad that miles is going to oberlin, and not even considering boston anymore. this is osmething that i have so much trouble admitting, but i loved imagining us going to college together on the east coast, different schools in a big city or maybe even two big cities. it was just a nice idea.
i wish life was settled and i wish i didn't work myself up to tears over this every night. i wish college didn't only depend on money the way it does.